my husband wants a divorce for no reason, he says he will leave me half of the marital assests but wont give any assests he had before marriage. he already has a lawyer 2 in fact to handle the divorce he wants a clean one. he hasnt been cheating and i know that for sure cause my friends work with him and even when they tried to flirt with them he reacted coldly. he isnt gay either cause he cant even be around other men in a changing room or even look at one naked. he was very loving, brought gifts and such. he really wont tell me the reason for the divorce. why would he want one? what could be wrong?
he comes back home on time never is out with anyone never talks online. only this week he turned to be really emotionless.
he has also filed a restraining order against me and has moved out of the apartment. we have no children.
2007-11-25 12:20:04 · 8 answers · asked by Hi T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like there's something else going on, though you don't know what it is. The pre-marital assets situation tells me he wants to be fair, but not generous. And if he's already been to a lawyer, he probably won't make any mistakes about big things, like money. I'll come back to this in a bit.
The not telling you his reasons part is strange. Commonly, finding another woman is a reason, but apparently not with him. Is he having a mid-life crisis? Could be. Are you unattractive, compared to when you were first married? Well, this is a bit puerile on his part, but possible. Have you been doing something he can't stand? He probably has mentioned something like that, though maybe not with the "I'll divorce you if you continue ____" warning.
In general, I think it's simpler to stay married until a good reason comes along. He seems to have found a good reason, even if he won't share it with you.
Back to money- if he won't share pre-marital assets, I'm guessing there are some. And if he's had legal counsel, one thing YOU have to look for is him taking your community property and converting it to something you don't know about. Could be a pile of Kruggerands, could be "loans" to friends, could be any number of financial events that would appear to shrink your community property but are means for him to get the money back.
One thing he'll do in filing is to come up with a financial disclosure. I'd read it very carefully, and compare it to what you know about your finances. Might be good to get an attorney who has fiscal forensics experience and confirm for yourself that what he's declaring is correct.
One bit of wisdom I've learned the hard way: "In a divorce, no one wins." Sure, someone will get a bit more here, a bit less there, but both will lose.
And one more bit of caution- sometimes you don't want to know the truth. What if he were to tell you, "I stopped loving you 200 pounds ago, you big blimp!" Do you really want to hear that? Sure, if he were to say, "I've always been gay; none of this is your fault" that would be easier to hear. But you may be happier (not just better off) in ignorance.
And it couldn't hurt you to get a counselor and see if you can take what you have and move on with your life. I did that and it helped. I'm not where I was emotionally pre-divorce, but I'm better than I used to be. (FWIW, my ex-wife scared me with her financial foolishness to where I thought I'd wake up in a cardboard box under the overpass.)
2007-11-25 14:47:28 · answer #1 · answered by going_for_baroque 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I accept as true with Perse. Adults over 18 ALWAYS are meant to get their possess invitations, and the intent is to explain whether or not or no longer they are allowed to carry a visitor. It's a functional etiquette rule that could have have shyed away from all this confusion. So they have been mistaken to ask each person at the equal invitation. They weren't mistaken in no longer adding dates. The simplest essential ones below this class are the ones married and engaged. It's superb if one would comprise long run relationships, however plenty of couples do not desire to be surrounded by means of a number of strangers at their marriage ceremony, specifically if the ones strangers take the position of humans they might instead invite.
2016-09-05 14:18:28 · answer #2 · answered by kushiner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's always sad to hear of a union headed for an end..but I would definitely ask for closure before he leaves and just insist he gives you closure. How can you correct which may have been half the reason he is leaving if he doesn't communicate if this is all him or something you did. If he is in his 40's he may be midlife crisising---good luck ...
2007-11-25 14:35:21 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it were me,I'd write him a letter requesting an explanation,out of plain old decency.Tell him that it will make the process less difficult for you,if you had a reason...I'm so sorry,& this sounds very cruel of your husband....He may have someone in his life,& because he didn't react to office flirts,doesn't mean he doesn't have a new woman already in his life...LOL
2007-11-25 12:40:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants a divorce and his reasons are his own. It would be nice if he chose to share them with you, but he doesn't choose to do that.
It sounds like he has made up his mind about this and it isn't really up for discussion. I'm not getting the restraining order, though. More to it?
2007-11-25 12:30:01 · answer #5 · answered by drewxjacobs 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Half marital and keeping per marital stuff is standard. I would let him use his atty. when you get the papers you need to sign take them to another atty. just to look over it should only cost you a consultation fee
Hope this helps
2007-11-25 12:30:11 · answer #6 · answered by walker9842 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he is unhappy in the marriage.
2007-11-25 12:40:49 · answer #7 · answered by kkuhns69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
possible depression or mid-life crises what about counseling? try to talk to him about that.
2007-11-25 12:34:47 · answer #8 · answered by DJ M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋