Can anyone give me input on what to do, I'm sick, In debt, wifes sick of me and I am really down now. Pos. inp

Question

Can anyone not be a smart alec and give advise. I am sick with Hep-c, fused spine on disability blah blah. Canadian wife of 8 years fed up with all the debt and living in hell hole Michigan.She wants to go home and haven't got the money to move her. Son hung himself a few years back, really have had a hard time. I'm on NO meds as we aren't covered by ins. Should I sell the house and get her home and apply for some pitiful houseing on my disability income(for however long S.S. will last) I know I'm gonna get some wild answers. No meds or counceling seem to help and I have tried one hell of a lot of meds and shrinks.......I get nightmares of my son hanging there. Family are really non-existant. I live in a state (mich.) where services are cut to the core. How to hell is anyone going to give me advise when, the situation is too complex? I know WHAT to do to make things better, I just don't have the physical strength to go forward, allways feel like have flu, pain that undiscribable.

I'm not allowed access into CANADA! It bites. See, they scan your license now and I came up with prior d.u.i. lol Plus, I can't get in with a permit or anything because of my disease! Its like a soap.I'm no sure I can move because the S.S.D. is in MIchigan...Her and me been having probs.. I isolate, I'm bi-polar, I mean REALLY isolate since my son wacked himself...The Mental Hospital was a joke. Didn't see the doc only twice and ...u just sit in there and they feed u non-effective meds. and they did give me my pain killers but theycalled my Dr. and told him to cancel my subscription for that ...wife laid off for a year and I really have'nt been able to or fit to work but something tells me that I had better wildly search for some income......hell I had to blow 100k in saving for co-pays and cobra and weed for the chemo for YEAR of living hell from side effects....I'm rambling.....sounding pittiful.....i read that this virus causes brain damage long term, kin ya tell? lol ty ABBE

Answer 1

I'M SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR SITUATION, I THINK YOU MIGHT BE BETTER OFF SELLING YOUR HOUSE AND TAKING IT FROM THERE. YOU MIGHT EVEN WHAT TO THINK ABOUT LETTING YOUR WIFE GO, AS BAD AS IT MAY SOUND, IT WILL GIVE YOU A CHANCE TO GET THINGS TOGETHER AND WHEN YOU ARE GOOD WITH YOURSELF, YOU CAN GO GET HER BACK, OR YOU CAN BOTH MOVE BACK TO CANADA AND SEE IF IT WORKS OUT THERE.JUST BELIEVE IN THE LORD AND HE WILL GET YOUR THROUGH. HE DOESN'T GIVE US MORE THAN WE CAN BARE. I'M SO SO SO SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR SON. YOU SHOULD ALSO TALK TO SOMEONE, THAT MIGHT HELP A LITTLE.

Answer 2

Hepatitis needs serious treatment and you are going to get sicker before you get better. My friend had it. He looked like a cancer victim for about a year but now he is perfectly well. You CANNOT afford to not have treatment. There must be a friend that will throw a benefit for you.. just ask them. Further.... I cannot see how you can't get assistance from the hopsital or social services for your medications. They simply can't refuse.
Why don't you start with making a list of things that you MUST get done starting tomorrow. I feel that a lot of the problems you have stem from your depression. It is due to this that you can't motivate yourself to get any other kind of help.
The sale of your house is not likely to happen real soon due to the market right now but certainly if you hate the area and are unhappy NOW is the time to put it on the market. FURTHER I think that a move would give a new outlook and change your focus a little bit. I'd check into the Canadian healthcare system before I even considered moving there. As a new resident you don't know what care you will get.
If not, then I'd move somewhere warm where you will suffer the least health risks and will help your overall mental state.

So MAKE A LIST... :
this week I wil:
1. research canadian healthcare and find out what help I can get.
2. find out where there are support groups of parents who have lost kids (they can help you in many ways I'm sure).
3. talk to the dept. of social services in order to get medications in the meantime.
4. find a friend who is willing to throw a benefit for you.

There are MANY other options... COME ON NOW!!!! don't give up! This time in a year or two could be a world of difference! Need me to mouth off more? Just email! You do have support!

Answer 3

obviously some people don't pay attention to what you say or they would have noticed your name is jeffrey and you have a wife.... you are not a girl.

As I have never been in your situation, at least to this extent, I don't know that I could offer much help. And since you've been to counselors and tried meds and stuff, I would feel kind of dumb to say keep going back.

The fact that your health is a main factor in all this makes things alot rougher. I am not familiar with michigan state programs or anything, so I don't know what to suggest. You said you know what to do but you just lack the strength and alot of pain keeps you from doing what needs done.

I'd say that your wife is not going to be happy staying in michigan and if you are forced to live in undesirable homes and conditions, she wont be anywhere and neither will you.

If you think that selling your house and moving to canada will make a start in turning your life around, I would do it, the only problem is that real estate is downright now, or at least in nc it is.

I am sorry you are having such a difficult time. Please don't be offended, but all I can do is pray for you. I am not sure of what religion, if any, you are but I am Christian and I find most of my comfort and strength to keep going forward through prayer and the love that God shows me. I do not want to offend you or make you feel like I am cramming my religious beliefs down your throat or what ever, nut I have found that serving a higher power has helped me change several troubles in my life. I can not imagine what you are going through, but I can understand that you are hurting and probably are feeling desperate. Like I said, the only advice I can give you is pray (if you are of a faith in a higher power) and that you will have my prayers and love.

Good luck, and God bless.

Answer 4

First, I am very sorry to hear about all the problems you are having and the death of your son.
There is a woman who is married to our handyman. She also has Hep C with no insurance. She is in a test program on a new medication and is feeling much better. Please look and see if anything is available in a university hospital in your area to see if a program like this one is available.
As for selling your house? Is this what you really want? It would solve some immediate problems, but could put you without a place to live. Some waiting lists for housing for the disable are one to two years wait. She doesn't like living there, let her get a job and save her money to pay for her own way to Canada. No marriage is perfect, and she shouldn't expect everything to be perfect without trying to make things work.

Are you a veteran by the way? You could also be eligible for medical help from the V.A. for your mental health problems.

Answer 5

Honey, there is ALWAYS help, you just have to be willing to accept it. Willing to work with it. Being sad & low can be like an addicition. If your wife wants to leave, let her go. She can call her family and ask them for money if she is so desperate. In my opinion, I think you should sell the house, too many memories there for you. The change would be good for you. Getting out of debt may come with the move. Cut out things like cable tv, going out to eat, having a car, (if possible), starbucks, etc. I would go to the library or even start here on Yahoo answers looking for NATURAL remedys to alleviate some of your symptoms. Get out and walk. I know it is cold where you live, but getting out of the house every day can do good. Even if you just walk around the block. As far as getting out of debt, work from home. You have a computer, this is a start. You can be an office assistant from home and make 20 bucks an hour! You just need an appointment book, fax machine and a computer with internet access that has enough memory & speed. Check it out online :) I read about it in a magazine. I hope this helped, Happy holidays!

Answer 6

Nobody cares about you except you. That's life. It sucks. This applies to almost everyone. If you don't believe, just get WAY down on your luck like you have, and people will find out. Why your son committed suicide is on him. That can't be changed, and it's neither here nor there. If your spouse wants to leave you, tell'em to hit the road, it's every man for himself when it gets down to survival. Now you. Take what limited resources you have, use them wisely. Do for yourself whatever you can. When you can't do it no more, call 911, 211, or whatever number you can find in the phone book for some assistance, and hopefully you'll land somewhere better off. If none of the drugs you take, or anything else seems to help you, maybe it's time to get some religion in your system.
GB....(:o)
PS: You might think about giving up Internet service to save a few bucks, and sell your computer. You might need it.

Answer 7

You are profoundly depressed. My heart aches for you. You say that no meds or therapy has helped, but I think that is because you haven't received the correct help.

You are trying to fix things that are beyond your control. You can't fix everything. I'm sorry you don't have more support from your wife. She sounds depressed too.

What do you want to do? Do you want to move? Then move. It would probably be a positive experience if you are not leaving any type of support. Does your wife have a support system in Canada? Would they be supportive to you? Then definitely move.

Answer 8

What I would do is sell the house (if you can) move her back to Canada, and go with her. Look into the health care they have over there. Is it better then what you got (which is none)? Is it better then anywhere else in America that you could move too? Section 8 housing isn't to shaby. you could apply for that. Welfare (though embarassing) is a good way to help out too. You seem as if you need a support group for families that have lost someone to sucide. also one for people with your disablities. GOod luck in your searches!

Answer 9

Jeffrey, first of all I'm sorry, I know your going thru a hard one. But keep your head up. Idk, what has happened in your past, and in your family. Seems to me that all your problems arised a long time ago. As hard, stupid, weak solution as this may sound I suggest you find peace w/in yourself, recommunicate with your wife and go on from there. She's the only one w/ you right now, even if there's no love, just work as a team to get out of this one. You say you know what to do, if you can't than she should. Hope tomorrow brings you the best...

Answer 10

You need to forgive yourself about the past, whether it's guilt over your son's death, or even your debts. You seem to have built an insurmountable mountain of problems and dumped them all in a paragraph. What you need to do is live in the present. Take the pain and figure out a way to conquer it... even if its buying a plain old bottle of Motrin. Then you need to gather your bills and figure out one thing, whether or not you need to file a bankruptcy (hopefully not) or if you can sell your house and pay debt down. Then since family is non-existent, you need to get your wife to be with you. And be nice to her and maybe she will be your friend, counselor when you need one, and helpmate for your pain. And maybe you can build a new life together, one that looks forward and not backward.

Answer 11

as bad as you have it, it is still not bad.
first you need to make a positive mental choice to be a winner and not a victim or an observer of your own life.

you need to come up with a plan that is sober, smart and serves you and your family in a way that will bring about the best solution. you wife my be tired of you but if she is not wanting to get rid of you, become the man she married again.

start here, and the rest should fall into place. Trust me, everyone has their share of sorrow, yours is just more visible.

be a man and deal with it like an adult