Naming Babies When a Woman Keeps her Maiden Name?

Question

In the newspaper today, Marilyn (from the Ask Marilyn column) suggested that all women should keep their maiden names through-out their lives. She also suggests that when married couples have children the boy babies should take the surnames of their fathers and girl babies take their mothers' surname.

* What do you think of this idea?

* If you kept your last name when getting married how did you handle this issue of what surname to give to your child?

* Marilyn says: "The benefits to girls and women would be enormous while costing the boys and men nothing---except the fun of claiming ownership of the opposite sex!" Do you agree or disagree that her idea takes nothing away from anyone?

Object: This is not MY idea, this was taken strictly from the article in the paper---Marilyn's idea---and I thought it might be an interesting topic to discuss.

Answer 1

I think I agree with Marilyn.

My only concern would be that it might create a division in the family along gender lines.

But then that's there much of the time anyways...

Answer 2

There are a lot of famous people who are not using their father's last names. Some of them do so because they were illegitimate (Jack Nicholson) or because their parents got divorced or their fathers abandoned their families (Clay Aiken, Beck, Lance Armstrong, Joan Jett, Barry Manilow), or they had a very common last name and wanted to use something rarer (Pablo Picasso).

Then there are famous women who have continued using the last names of their first husbands even though their marriages ended years ago. Examples include Raquel Welch, Joni Mitchell, Pat Benatar, Angie Dickinson, Demi Moore, and Susan Sarandon.

As for the desire of everybody in the family having the same last name, what do you do in the cases of blended families when some of the children have a different last name and may not want to change it? Another thing to think about is the possible consequences of such a name change. My husband comes from such a family. His mother had children from a previous marriage. When she married his father, she started pressuring them to take the last name of her new husband. She told them it would be great if everybody had the same last name. The children were pretty young at the time so they didn't fully understand what could happen if they did change their last name. It turned out she did that out of vindictiveness towards the children's father. They had gone through a bitter divorce and that was her way of getting back at him. He reportedly was very hurt by the whole thing. She should have waited until they were older and could decide for themselves. As it turned out, this marriage didn't last either.

Answer 3

I agree that women should have a choice in what last name to have after marriage. I kept mine, personally. We don't have children and we will decide what last name to give them if/when it becomes an issue. Probably both names.
As for naming children - I think it is a very nice idea in theory but can be confusing.
However, I don't think children should automatically get their father's last name.
Every family should do whatever suits them best.

Answer 4

I don't think its a good idea either. If you are going to choose to keep your name you either need to give the children the mother's name, father's name, or a hyphenated name. Otherwise the children will just be confused.

Fallon anyone who gets married a even thinks they might get divorced, shouldn't be getting married.

I agree with Olivia, women taking the husband's name has nothing to do with ownership any longer. Society saw the benefits of recognizing a family as a family and the drawbacks of a confusing amount of various names.

Answer 5

I think that everyone in the family should have the same name. BUT I don't think that necessarily has to be the father's name. What if the woman has a rare last name that is "dying out" and the man has a common name like Smith or something? Should that rare and special name really be sacrificed to something as common as Smith? Of course not. They should obviously both take her name. Or, if he's got the rarest last name, then they should take his.

If they've both got relatively common last names (or, both have equally rare last names) then they should either hyphenate or combine the letters around to make a new name, and pass that to their children.

I don't like the idea of half the family having one name and half the other. That's just absurd.

Answer 6

I think whatever people chose to do is fine. I'm the daughter of a family where both parents kept their original last names and it was never particularly confusing for anyone. I had a hyphenated name although the first of the two names ended up serving as more of a middle name, but that's probably because it is ungdly long and difficult for most people to pronounce.

I kept my set of last names and when my partner and I decided to have a baby, we hyphenated although I only used the later half of my name (for the sake of brevity). So far, we haven't had any problems with anyone although we haven't tried to immigrate anywhere.

Answer 7

I think it would be confusing for the family. I think that all members of a family should have the same name, whether it's the woman's or the man's. It would be confusing for siblings to have different surnames. They would constantly have to explain to people why they had different last names than their brothers or sisters.

Answer 8

It may be a good idea. I think this is just one of those non- issues. Families should do what suits them. Society does not need to make rules.

I kept my name and will always keep it. It has to do with my career. Our children had a hyphenated surname.

Answer 9

I think it's a good idea.
I think by not taking your husbands name and seeing his reaction would tell alot.
If he says you have to change your name then you shouldnt marry him, opposite if he says its fine.
I would never change my last name when I get married, I think its stupid to, because it just confuses everyone if you get a divorce or whatever.

But about the children, I'm not sure. It might be a reasonable idea, but it depends on the person.

Answer 10

I come from a patriarchal culture where the women keep their maiden names after marriage. So there goes that theory of ownership. My son and I share the same last name and my wife kept hers.

Regards...