Im from a very conservitive christian family. all through out my teens I tried to fight it.... I tried to date men.. all different kinds and races trying to find my "type". I thought it was just a phase but it never went away. Now I am lonley and wanting more. WHAT DO I DO?! I suffering inside. I want to tell... Ive told my mami & a few of my friends but they thought I was playing. "Your too pretty to be lesbian" everyone says. True I am beautiful I could have any man I want but that is not what my heart desires. What should I do? I want to tell the world. I dont care what any one will think of me anymore!
Thanx in advance. <333
2007-11-25 10:17:18 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
NO I AM NOT WANTING ATTENTION
I want the support of my friends and family I want to know that they will stil be there for me. Im scard I guess :(
2007-11-25 10:22:37 · update #1
Why do you need to tell everyone? It seems you have told the important people in your life. Why does anyone else need to know? If you really want them to know, take out a large advertisement in the local newspaper and say "EMI BABii is a lesbian". That should tell them.
Personally I'd just get on with my life and leave other people to worry about theirs.
2007-11-25 10:23:01 · answer #1 · answered by tentofield 7 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Wow, I thought I was alone in the world. I guess that's why this venue is a safe and good place to air out feelings and questions that you really can't ask most people. I sympatize with you since I haven't come out to anyone except a few people (less than a handfull). I am scared to death of my family judging or just outright being hurt and or ashamed of me since I too come from a very religious background. Maybe the anguish and skepticism is all in my own head, not sure. I'd like to believe that my family is stronger than I give them credit but not sure how to go about it. I want to tell them since we are really bad liars and not good at hiding things. My instincts tells me to go slow and just because I am gay doesn't mean that everyone has to know. Afterall, I didn't feel like that was the case when I thought I was heterosexual. Not sure where the guilt or expectancy comes from.
2007-11-25 11:13:41 · answer #2 · answered by B B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When people say "why do you have to announce it" I forget how much people really don't understand. Being honest with your family is something that is, and should be, very important. And lying for the rest of your life is a lowly way to live. However, if you are in a position where your family could threaten your living situation- I would wait until you're safely on your own to tell everybody. Meaning, if you live at home, wait until you've moved out- so you don't risk getting kicked out and becoming homeless. It's not uncommon for gays to get kicked out by their parents. Sad world, huh?
Tell them however you are comfortable. Over the phone, over dinner. With a note, or e-mail. Just make sure they they are focused and paying attention, and taking you seriously. The best way to make it clear is not to say "I'm gay" or "I'm lesbian", because certain people translate that in to "I can be cured to be a heterosexual". Say, "I am attracted to women, not men- I have tried to be happy with men for a long time, but I can't. I'm a lesbian."
A lot of up and coming lesbians are becoming more and more femme. There are lots of gay girls out there who like to be girly, and that's great, as long as that's who you are~~
2007-11-25 11:20:37 · answer #3 · answered by Karma Police 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. But I have learned, you cannot tell the world unless you want more stress in your life than you already have. Only tell your loved ones that you feel you can trust not to disown you, or ridicule you. Just keep it to yourself and you will know, by just hangin out and listening to their opinions on certain subjects, including gays, then you will know who you can tell and who not. I know it is hard, and I learned from my mistakes for being so trustful of people I thought I could trust. Boy, I could tell you some stories hun, of the hate, the immaturity and the intolerance I subjected myself to by wanting to tell the world. And where in the world do straight people get that we lesbians are ugly. "You're too pretty to be a lesbian"? Damn, there are a lot of gorgeous lesbians out there and straight guys use to tell me, oh, what a waste!! A waste, thank god I'm not wasting myself on you dude.LOL!!
2007-11-25 10:36:48 · answer #4 · answered by cydnimo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because I am one of everyone, my first impulse is to ask "Why should I care if you are a lesbian?" But after reading your elaboration I would question whether you should tell them. Perhaps you should go away where the identity you've opted for and life that goes with it will only slowly seep into the awareness of those who care about you. That way their suffering will not be amplified by seeing yours.
Your confoundment compels my sincerest condolences to you and those who love you. I hope you find the way to a life more abundant than this one is shaping up to be.
2007-11-25 10:31:13 · answer #5 · answered by wordweevil 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is no need to tell the world. Who you like is your business, and the world does not need to know.
But if you mean coming out to your family, just tell them, if they're really your family, they'll love and except you no matter what, and if they think your just kidding, tell them your not, tell them (calmly and rationally) until they take you seriously. Just because you're pretty does not mean you can't be a lesbian.
2007-11-25 10:45:35 · answer #6 · answered by Boozu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not fair to you to be in the closet. You are what you are. Your family may be conservative, but as christians they must love you and accept you the way you are. Jesus loves everybody.
However, you have already started telling the people that really matter: your mami and your friends. It's up to them if they want to believe you. You are doing the right thing.
2007-11-25 10:25:51 · answer #7 · answered by ozperu 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Find a girlfriend. Introduce her to your friends as your main squeeze, hold her hand in front of them, put your arm around her in front of them. Bring her to your next family gathering and introduce her as your girlfriend, maybe even kiss her in front of your mother :-)
OK, I was just kidding about that. I don't really believe that using your girlfriend to shock your friends and family would be fair to your girlfriend -- unless she agrees to it and is willing to put up with whatever negative reaction your family and friends might have.
But it may be that the only way you're going to convince people you really ARE lesbian is when they see you happily, and romantically, dating a woman. Sometimes people have to see it to believe it.
In the meantime, just keep telling them when the subject of your love life comes up -- "I'm a lesbian, I'm looking to meet Ms Right.....and I'm NOT interested in dating men." Other than taking out a full-page ad in your local paper, or renting a billboard to announce it :-) (j/k) I think you just have to keep telling people, and give them time to get used to the idea.
2007-11-25 10:31:10 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OK here's what I think, mami :)
1. Find the girl you want to be with
2. Tell whomever asks you the "question". And be nice and sweet about it, "Yes! We're going out :)"
2007-11-25 11:18:09 · answer #9 · answered by 1011101 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't announce it, but when it comes up just be honest. Have confidence in yourself that everything will be fine. Are you in school? If so they may have a LGBT club. They do at the college I teach at. check and see
2007-11-25 10:27:17 · answer #10 · answered by Pink 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋