Ok, I am 15 years old, I'll be 16 in January. Ive been with my girlfriend since i was 14, and we've been having sex recently. The only thing is, and i admit, we've been really really stupid and sometimes not used what we should have used. She told me last week she thought she was pregnant. It was the scariest moment of my life, and I've told no one, until now. We did a proper test and it confirmed it. Right now I'm just scared, and I really don't know what to do. I havnt spoken to my girlfriend since we found out for sure. And I dont know how to tell my mom. I know im gona get a lot of lectures and i deserve it, but i just need some reassurance and to know whats right...im really panicking about it.
2007-11-25 09:27:52 · 22 answers · asked by Shane Kirk. 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I'm sorry man but all you can do is tell your mom.
I'm sure she'll be mad at first, but she will get over it and try to help you and your girlfriend with this baby.
also try to calm down a bit
panicking will not help you overcome any situations, and this is certainly no exception.
try to think about all of the good things you'll get from having this baby. you should be a sophomore now, so try to enjoy what's left of school, and ask mom if she can help out with the child (you might want take your child to a nursery).
I REALLY APPLAUD YOU FOR NOT LEAVING YOUR GIRLFRIEND!!!
THAT SHOWS A LOT OF COURAGE!!!
2007-11-26 11:53:15 · answer #1 · answered by Vegetarian Era 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, remember, it's scary, but you're not the first that this has happened to.
Be there for your girlfriend and your baby. Please don't abandon them. Even if you and your girlfriend split up (hopefully that won't happen) be amicable and always be there to provide for your child.
It's hard to know how your mom would react. Being honest is going to be the easiest way to prove to her that you're trying to be mature. Hiding it is only going to make matters more complicated.
Just try to catch her when she's relaxed and no one's around and sit down in your room or somewhere where there's not alot of distraction and try to be as sincere as you can.
Something like, "Mom, you taught me better, but I've made a mistake. ______ and I are going to have a baby. We're both scared, but we want to do the right thing, whatever we have to do to take care of the baby. I need your guidance".
I know that sounds kind of hokey...something off of a tv show or something. If this is really how you feel, then feel free to use that as an idea...either way, be honest.
Things are going to be rough. I'm 30 and have an 8 mo old. It's hard working and trying to have time for everything, but it can be done. Just remember that there's a part of you growing inside your girlfriend...
2007-11-25 09:38:11 · answer #2 · answered by sweet_trixie_1977 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see by your question that you understand both of you have been very immature about having sex so I won't lecture you but If you do adult things you need to be an adult about what consequences may arise from it. It's definetely time to call a family meeting of your and her parents, neither of you should tell them alone but especially her, she's going through alot more than you right now with all the added emotions and hormones of being pregnant, stand by her.
Perhaps you might consider talking to your mothers together first, fathers have a way of being overly angry when they find out their daughters have been having sex.
Yes, your parents will be astonished, angry, upset (they will have so many emotions they won't even be able to put a name to them) they will say things they may not mean because they are frightened too but it's not the end of the world and eventually the love they have for you will win out and they'll be there for the three of you.
Maybe one of your parents or a relative will consider adopting the child or taking care of the child while you two finish your schooling, if not, there are always loving families wanting babies they cannot have for themselves. Please consider all your options before even thinking of abortion, what has happened is not that babies fault and he/she should not be made to suffer because of it.
Be mature, be there for your girlfriend, she needs you now more than ever.
Good luck!
2007-11-25 09:53:14 · answer #3 · answered by justceleste 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All right... so there are several things that you need to do.
The number one thing... tell your girlfriend that you're there for her. Don't let her go through this alone since you are also responsible for the child.
You also need to tell your parents. Let's face it... you'll probably get yelled at. They'll tell you how disappointed they are... and so on. You'll need to be strong and endure every blow they throw at you... but just know that when things start calming down, they will be understanding and be there for you.
Then... you'll need to sit down with your girlfriend and decide what to do. I hope that abortion is out of the question... but there's always adoption. You both need to decide if you two are willing and capable of giving this child the love and nurture it needs. From the way I see it, your girlfriend is far too young... and although it may be bad of me to say this, it might be better if the child was given to a family with a strong foundation. It will be better for you both and the child.
But whatever you decide... you'll always have your family and friends to support you.
Good luck! It's not going to be easy... but you'll make it through.
2007-11-25 10:17:44 · answer #4 · answered by Peno 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is going to be hard on you. When a pregnancy test confirms pregnancy that means she's definately probably pregnant. I know your scared but you should talk to her, and you need to tell your parents. They are probably gonna yell or be disappointed but they will get over it. You should be there for your girlfriend. Even if you are only gonna be just friends, she needs you right now. The right thing to do is tell your parents. I hope it all turns out well!
2007-11-25 09:37:20 · answer #5 · answered by AprilML 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your parents, it's only fair to everyone involved. How would you feel if they learned from another source before you? (It could happen.) No matter what their reaction is (and hopefully, it will be supportive), you all need to work together towards the best solution.
I don't know you or your GF or your families or your religious beliefs, so I won't say anything about abortion versus adoption -- these are things you (and those close to you) need to decide upon together.
I can tell you that 16 is awfully young for fatherhood -- so think long and hard before you and your GF make a decision to keep and raise this child.
MOST IMPORTANTLY -- stick with your GF (you OWE her that), and COMPLETE YOUR EDUCATION, no matter what. Good luck to you all.
2007-11-25 09:57:21 · answer #6 · answered by Dory 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Shane - First of all you need to talk to your girlfriend NOW. You're scared - just imagine how she is feeling. Like it or not, you are both in this together. A great place to get some help is planned parenthood. They can help you talk through options and come up with decisions. I urge you to talk to your girlfriend, comfort her and let her know you are there for her, this will also make things better for you!
2007-11-25 09:39:18 · answer #7 · answered by Aroo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... maybe you dont wanna hear it and your parents may say the same thing.... but if you wanna have sex, unprotected sex at that, and be an adult... then you need to accept responsibility from the outcomes which you helped create. She didnt lay down and get herself pregnant so it is your responsibility as well. Is moments of pleasure worth all this? Thats something you should have thought about before doing it. And your only 15? You shouldnt be having sex at all your barely passed puberty.
2007-11-25 09:35:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Lots of guys go through this kind of situation, unfortunately. How old is your gf?
1. Tell parents
2. Get ideas together for action
3. Agree on action
4. Implement action
Personally, I'd rather abortion wasn't in the picture, but if your gf is 13, it may be the right decision. Neither you, nor your gf is mature enough to be a parent. My best advice would be to carry the baby to term and give him or her to a loving couple desperate to welcome a newborn into their home.
TX Mom
2007-11-25 09:34:17 · answer #9 · answered by TX Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK..first off..give your girlfriend some support..she is no doubt just as scared as you..
I would visit your local plannedparenthood with your girlfriend..they will talk about her options and are completely confidential..so if you weren't ready to tell your parents you wouldn't have to just yet..but i would recommend you both telling your parents right off the bat so they can help you through this scary time..i'm sure they will be upset at first..but they are your parents..they won't just leave you without help..I will give you a link to plannedparenthoods website below..they are friendly and confidential..i really recommend that you check them out..good luck..and give your girlfriend a call..and talk this out with her..she needs you..If she is truly pregnant..then you are a daddy now..and need to step up to the plate..again..good luck
2007-11-25 09:36:37 · answer #10 · answered by Macy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋