My boyfriend is 22 years old. He switched majors and is still finishing undergraduate school, meanwhile because his parents can afford to still be paying for him (for everything). He also has 3 younger siblings and is the oldest so feels guilty that he is stil in school and his parents are still paying for them and thinks he owes them an amount of respect, which is completely understandable. But he is just a little too close with his family. We have been going out now for 9 months and I just met them this week. He has not even told them that he went home with me and met my family. He comes from a traditional cuban family and I know the women hold onto their kids for dear life, but why does he feel that he needs to respect them by being afraid of them. He is still tied to his mom's nipple, ANY ADVICE HOW TO GET MY MAN TO SEE ME AS THE ONLY WOMAN IN HIS LIFE?and not be so attached to his family that he acts happier to see them then when he sees me? Should it be me or mom if i'm important
2007-11-25 09:07:42 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Lord girl, you really need to find a man that you can lead around by your apron strings......... he already has his mama doing for him, he hooked up with you , cuz you lead him around too I'll bet, just like a prize you won at the county fair......... girl, you either love him and his family or you don't, and it will be a bone of contention if you marry........... you will never replace his mama.......... get over it now...... or move on......find yourself another prize........
You show your contempt for his love for his parents when you say he is attached, still by the nipple...... really, how crass.... get over your jealousy.......... he is after all the first born male......... there are too many great expectations there......
2007-11-25 09:19:24 · answer #1 · answered by bizzymom38 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that being close to his family is the problem. Maybe he needs more time to see how the two of you will ''develop'' before he brings you into the family. Some people make the step to introduce family sooner than others. I don't want to meet every person that my sons date. I really don't want to meet them until or unless HE thinks that it is going to be serious and long term if not forever. Give the guy a break and some more time. But not a lot more. It won't do any good to complain about it. He either wants to do it or he doesn't. I would give it until spring if everthing else in the relationship is good. Not everyone wants to include ''others'' in holiday events. Don't take it personally. Nine months is a long time to some and a short time to others
2007-11-25 09:21:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a really selfish question!! Coming from a close knit family isn't a curse or doesn't mean he's stuck to his mom's nipple as long as he treats you good. My family is very close, my brother whose married is close to our mom and she is able to give him advice on how to treat his wife and family better. You may need to get some kind of counseling or something. How can you come in and try and take him from a family he's been all his life and make him be so attaached to you after 9 months, do you have issues stemming from your childhood or your family?
2007-11-25 09:18:21 · answer #3 · answered by madeam3 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's HIM and is not about his culture, in all cultures you can find that kind of man and that kind of woman, usually both are single and sometimes by choice, because they end up having to decide between their partners or family and they choose their family. They never become independent individuals. Don't try to change him or the way he sees things, that's not your job. Your job consists on finding the partner that fits you, and for what you said, is someone who is independent which sounds perfectly fine and a good idea. you just happened to find someone who eventually will receive an ultimatum and take a decision on which way to go. At that age I think I was almost traveling to other countries and paying me for my own stuff and just going to visit my family for a weekend every couple of months. Also, you are very young to be in a commited relationship, you just need to be dating and working on your career, and learning the things you are learning now.
2007-11-25 09:24:50 · answer #4 · answered by livingthe30s 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What's wrong with your bf being close to his family? To me, that's a plus. I'd rather date or be with someone who is close to his family. It shows that he's devoted and that he's caring. You'll never be the only woman in his life because he still has his mom. His mom gave birth to him and raised him so I think you should respect her. Being close to family is a good thing. If you want your bf then you're going to get his family too. It's a packaged deal.
2007-11-25 09:33:08 · answer #5 · answered by Virginia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be this way because they are still paying his way. I'd wait until he graduates and see how he relates to them after graduation before making a final decision.
a few signs he's a momma's boy or too involved with his family:
1. tells momma /family about every little fight you have or every little detail of your lives together
2. always cancelling dates with you to be with momma/family
3. momma/family comes first and you second
4. has to ask momma's/family's permission to go some where or do something first.
There is nothing you can do to change him. He has to grow up and become a man on his own. If this isn't how you want to live, then he's not the man for you.
2007-11-25 09:20:35 · answer #6 · answered by Invisigoth 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all.... what is wrong with being close to ones family? And you obvious know nothing about the latino culture. You will NEVER be the only women. You can never come between a man and his mom. NEVER. What you should be thinking is how he treats his mom.. cause that is how he will treat you.... You should be tying to get good in with the mom. We have a strong bond with our family that you will never understand... but you should try to.
2007-11-25 09:20:54 · answer #7 · answered by SPed 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're not married to him so you're just a female friend. You get engaged, and things start to change. You get married and now you're the woman of the house. Old fashioned family relationship. He'll still respect his parents but you'll be numero uno.
2007-11-25 09:41:44 · answer #8 · answered by bardmere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's the difference in cultures.
Respect for family doesn't mean that he doesn't care for you. But, his family will ALWAYS be important to him.
Until he marries, their opinion and wishes will come first.
Children from Latin families usually don't marry as soon as
other Americans. It is considered proper for them to be close and very involved.
Read up on it. It could help you understand more.
2007-11-25 09:18:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not a dang thing can I offer you. I have been married 12 yrs to mine, he is Scottish and his parents TRY to rule my house and MY kids.
These people are very stuffed shirt ..their form of fun is sitting around the house and talking...BORING!
We, my son, hubby and I enjoy video games and going out to movies.etc.
An example of their control is this...they are so ashamed of us (we are low income) that they buy us clothing whenever we go somewhere. (Weddings, funerals, get together, etc.)
We just had our daughters baptism and they bought clothing for all four of us to wear. Needless to say, we did NOT wear them! Except for our baby, we didn't have a baptism dress.
They even try to tell me how to clean my house!
Just listen and let it go out one ear and do what you like.
I know my hubby married me, but I WILL NEVER have them in my house again!
Blessings
2007-11-25 09:21:45 · answer #10 · answered by Midnight Winter WOLF 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋