Does anybody have any key pointers on how to save a marriage that is currently struggling?

Question

We have been married for 6 months now and as my husband has put it I've done a complete 360. I don't know what's happened. I've always been the happy go lucky type and now that I'm married I'm always tired, crabby, saying things I don't mean about his ex... and other girl friends of his, I've also noticed a huge drop in self esteem and a peak in insecurity for what reasons I have no idea (I've never been like that before), I constantly accuse him of checking out other women, and I've recently gotten very fearful of him leaving me. I don't want to be without my husband, he is the light of my life but I know if I don't do something about this I will lose him. I'm so dumbfounded by my behaviour that I just don't know what to do. I'm in a huge rut.

Answer 1

Aside from getting married, what else has happened in the last six months that might have made you change? Did you live together before you married? Has your relationship changed or is it you that's changed?

First, you need to talk to your husband. Let him know you love him and know the last few months have been difficult for both of you. Tell him that you're trying to understand why you're feeling the way you do. Secondly, you should find a therapist who can help give you perspective. The sooner your understand what's happened and why, the sooner you can engage your husband and get his help.

Don't be afraid to reach out for help, and don't put it off. Finally, don't withdraw from your husband; allow him to help you and love you.

Answer 2

Yes, help is here and you will turn your marriage around within a day. Begin by apologizing to your husband and ask him to forgive you for whatever you did that may have hurted him. Tell him that you do greatly love him, you have been making petty petty mistakes and that not the way marriage should be. Then reevaluate yourself, your behavior and your altitude. The past is gone. Never bring up anything like past relationships. Know that its you and him to build or destroy. So Things will begin to fall in place. Alway respect him. Know what to say, how to say and when to say whatever might be in you mind/heart. Take time to understand what he tell you instead of jumping to a conclusion which perhaps might be a wrong decision. Know that when you got married, you wanted a life companion, a helper, someone you trusted, imagine out of all those men out there, you chose him, to protect yuo etc and inorder for your marriage to succeed, do not involve the outsiders into you personal problem in you family. Anger, hatred, biterness let them go.Do your responsibility as a wife/mother. Give your husband space if he wants to, stop bugging him unnecessarily. Alway have a smiling face and be happy around him. Learn to answer him "yes" followed by "ifs" for him to clarify what he telling you or asking for detail and opion on something yuo feel won't be right. Creat your own space. When dealing with money, which sometimes one is a conservative while the other one is a free spender, make your budget a head of time. Important thing first.In this way your will understand what you really want in your marriage, a house, a nice car etc set up your goals, and plans and work to met your goal. commit yourself in every thing you do and by doing all these things your husband would make a 360 degree to stick behind you and your marriage will grow.

Answer 3

You and your spouse need to define the problems. Do nothing else until you've got a list you agree on. Then agree on whether you two can work out any of the problems without help. Also agree on which problems seem most important. Then find a psychologist who is trained in marriage problems.
Make a binding deal with your spouse to work through the things that the counselor recommends before and decisions are made.

Answer 4

It's called insecurity....alot of people face these challenges and it does ruin alot of marriages. You have to live for the day and try to be happy. A good personality makes people like you, including your husband. You have to be strong, even when your world crumbles around you keep your nose in the wind and keep pushing forward. Good Luck to you both.

Answer 5

go to the doc, try and get some help,, im going through the same thing we are separated and after more then a year she is going to the doc.. i think it might be to late(for us)

Answer 6

it would help to know what you're struggling over. i can only give a generic answer which would be to go back to square one. start over and try to forgive.

Answer 7

by that question ( it is sooooo silly) you get a silly answer...........my advise to you..... start drinking heavily ,have an affair with your neighbor, the gardener ,and your marriage counsler

you people have no freakin since of humor!!
bite me...