Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an un-
happy marriage, a young husband decided to
solve both problems by taking out a large
insurance policy on his wife with himself
as the beneficiary, & then arranging to
have her killed.
A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with
a nefarious dark-side underworld figure
who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie
then explained to the husband
that his going price for snuffing
out a spouse was £5,000.
The husband said he was willing to pay that
amount, but that he wouldn't have any
cash on hand until he could collect
his wife's insurance money.
Artie insisted on being paid at least something
up front, so the man opened his purse,
displaying the single coin that
rested inside.
Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly
agreed to accept the 50p as down
payment for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife
to the local Tesco store. There, he
surprised her in the produce department
& proceeded to strangle her with his
gloved hands & as the poor
unsuspecting woman drew
her last breath & slumped
to the floor.
The manager of the produce department stumbled
unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to
leave any living witnesses behind, ol'Artie had no
choice but to strangle the produce manager
as well.
However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings
were captured by the hidden security cameras &
observed by the store's security guard, who
immediately called the police.
Artie was caught & arrested before he could even
leave the store. Under intense questioning at the
police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid
plan, including his unusual financial arrange-
ments with the hapless husband who was
also quickly arrested.
The next day in the newspaper,
the headline declared.............
(You're going to hate me for this . . )
"ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR 50p
AT TESCO!"
2007-11-25 07:07:25 · 21 answers · asked by Diamond 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
slk29406 I am not Susie
2007-11-27 03:45:20 · update #1
Oh dear the wife works at Tesco stacking shelves, she will be on the look out for this Artie bloke to see if he has a few spare slots in his itinerary. I have suspected for a while that she has been saving her pocket money for some diabolical reason and she might just see this as her chance to take me out of the equation as they say. I will have to make her work at Morrison's or even Sainsburys. I do wish you Lady's would be more careful with the type of question you post it causes me and the boys such a lot of trouble.
2007-11-25 10:56:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
LOL. Funny, very very funny....it was so good it was bad! Love to know where that Tesco store is though coz we've never come across one that has so few customers lol....definately not at this time of year or any other time either!
2007-11-26 01:18:40 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a good one. I love artie chokes.
2007-11-25 08:58:18 · answer #3 · answered by Aloha_Ann 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't hate you, I loved it. I emailed it to a friend. I know she will get a big kick out of it too.
Maybe others have heard it before, but I haven't.
2007-11-25 07:45:22 · answer #4 · answered by curious connie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Chuckles!!!!!! Hahahaha!
2007-11-25 09:31:10 · answer #5 · answered by noonecanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was very funny, I didn't expect the punchline, very good! LOL
2007-11-25 07:37:20 · answer #6 · answered by luvspbr2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Giggles.... funny but not the punchline I was expecting!
2007-11-25 07:11:20 · answer #7 · answered by Ĕrotic Ńightmare 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't hate you, that was so funny did either guy get their celery they had coming to them?
2007-11-25 07:16:40 · answer #8 · answered by Jan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
long winded but worth it lol i thought it was funny
2007-11-25 07:12:49 · answer #9 · answered by gazza 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think I am going to "choke" you... LOLOLOL,,,thanks for the laugh.
2007-11-25 08:27:07 · answer #10 · answered by ncgirl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋