Who are my friends, or why don't I have any?

Question

Why does it seem like I don't have any friends? Sure, I might talk to people at school and laugh with others sometimes, but I don't spend any time with anyone and I can't tell if people have in interest in me and who I am or not. I spend a lot of time trying to figure out what people mean when they say things to me, and it really confuses me to try to figure out what others want from me in our conversations. Are they being polite? Do they like me? Do they want to be my friend? Do they think I'm weird? Would they want to get to know me? Are they making fun of me? Why can't I tell these things and how can I find out? And don't be one of those people who answers 'awww, well I'm you're friend.' I'm not talking fake pity stuff like that, I mean REAL, true blue, there-for-you-when-you-need-them, best, close friends.

Answer 1

Hey, kiddo, don't be hard on yourself. You're not a bad person & I truly understand how you feel. Judging from your story, I went through A LOT worse than what you're going through right now. When I was in High School, I didn't have a single friend in the world. Nobody would ever speak to me, unless the teachers made them & even then, people would avoid speaking to me. In fact, I was bullied terribly in High School & as a result have lost my social skills & suffer from stress sometimes.

It's not your fault you don't have any friends, so please don't blame yourself or feel bad. You're asking yourself the same question so many others have asked themselves also. "Why don't I have any friends?" Nobody really knows the answer to that, not even me. True friends are very hard to come by nowadays because, as my father has stated, so many people would rather spend their time indoors playing their computers instead of going out & meeting people. Usually, the most true & genuine friends you'll ever meet are the kind of people like you & me who are alone, struggle to meet friends & wonder why we're alone. Most of the people nowadays that you see hanging out in groups are only hanging out with them just so they can say their not loners, are popular, cool, etc. Lots of people pretend to be someone or something they're not just so people will accept them. They may wear clothes that they hate, listen to music they hate, watch movies they hate, visit places they hate or even do things they hate, & yet put up with them just so that others will accept them. They have surrendered their true-selves to satisfy the needs of others & THAT IS WRONG! You sound like a very genuine person & the kind of friend I would be more than honoured to spend my time with if you were local. However, if people cannot accept the real you, then it is much better to be hated for who you truly are than to be loved for someone you're not. This is another reason why so many people cause so much violence & trouble in the streets, especially at night-time. They are lonely & can only get our attention by causing trouble.

I'm sorry if I've not been of any help. I did my best but I hope I've helped, if only a little.

Answer 2

It's very difficult to make friends to begin with in school, and even much more harder when you graduate and you're in the outside world. I moved to a new city about a year and a half ago and still have difficulty making friends. I, personally, am not too worried about because I, afterall, prefer solitude.

Maybe you should try inviting the people you think may be your friends to the movies or to StarBucks or a place people really have a great interest in. My brother lives in San Fran. and always wins over friends by TREATING them out to eat. That is probably why he is always broke, but maybe this will help you just to kick a friendship into start.

Of course, don't over spend money and if you don't have ANY money whatsoever then a nice visit to the mall may help.

Make sure you don't feel too bad because most Americans, like a high percentage tend to feel lonely even though they have friends and/or are in a relationship.

Hope this helps.

Answer 3

Sounds like your just an individualistic sort of person.
Nothing wrong with not having friends unless it means something to you.

Ya might take a quick look in the mirror and see what message your face is sending to the outside world.

Practice looking relaxed not tense. Walk around at school for a week while concentrating on having a relaxed face.
If someone says Hi, say hi back and just keep walking.
After the 3rd person says hi, and it seems easy, ya might want to stop and talk if they seem to want too. Don't offer explanations for why you are or do what you do, talk for a few minutes about simple things that don't mean a lot and leave while they still want to talk. Don't seem like you need to hang on to a person to talk, it will drive them away. I don't know why.
People your age don't want to discuss the deep kinds of things you are concerned about.
Eventually it will all work out. Trust me :)

Lessons from an individualistic sort of person

Answer 4

the only friend and i mean true friend you should always have is GOD i say this because hes there when you need him may not be there when you want him but i promise you he's right on time take it from experience. he wont let you down he wont lie to you hes a protector a provider a doctor in the medical room you name it he is just that i promise you. if you dont make any friends at school god is the best one you could ever have. if you cant make friends up there then dont worry about it just so you know you have one that will always be right there by your side. staying to yourself will keep you out of a lot of trouble and altercations friends can be backstabbers and full of trouble and you definitely dont want to be involve in that i could be wrong cause some people like trouble they think it makes a good impression on them. open your eyes and decide whats best for you

Answer 5

Do you feel like your so-called-possibly friends would tell you their secrets, and would you tell them yours? If you want to get a really good friend, you have to show interest in that person. Genuine interest, not trying-to-start-a-conversation interest. Smile a lot and be yourself. Smile is very important, because it shows people that you an approachable, nice person. And nobody likes a whiner. Keep you problems to yourself. You can tell your friends if you have a problem, but don't become all sulky and sad. Those types of people are never fun to be around!!!

Answer 6

I think the best is to see what interest them like if you see them going out for a sport or activity in school maybe like join the same activity


another solutions is to when the person looks down and depress or looks to be having a bad day say something that might enhance them... give them support

Answer 7

I think your reading to much into what people think and if they have a motive, you sometimes have to take a chance and if they turn out not to be someone you want as a friend move on to the next person. You may get hurt sometimes by people but you have to keep trying, it's not healthy to be alone.

Answer 8

Its hard to say without actually being able to see your interactions with others, but if they were making fun of you, you would definitely know it.
Also, if they really had no interest in you whatsoever, they wouldn't talk to you at all.
Try not to over analyze the situation. Just do your best to put yourself out there, be more outgoing, and before you know it you will have plenty of friends :)

Answer 9

Its often hard to find that one true friend. Expecially when people are always changing as they grow up.

Take people for their word when they talk to you. Yeah, somebody somewhere is going to call you nieve, but at least you arent paranoid with who is saying what.

As far as your friends go, hang out with them when they offer, and who knows, maybe your looking too far into it. But at the same time, dont be afraid to expand your horizons and hang out with new people. You never know who is waiting for you on the other side of the room.

Answer 10

Umm my proper acquaintances definite, yet even regardless of the reality that i love the girls folk I dangle out with, I wouldn't totally trust them. It sounds terrible yet i comprehend for a incontrovertible reality that they in certain situations gossip about one yet another. both way is say I surely have some acquaintances who're both honest climate acquaintances and some who're like sisters to me.