I feel cramped in this marrige my wife will not allow me to do any of thie things that would make me happy with me she will not allow me to explore any of the things in life that interest me she will not allow me to be the extreme unique person I want to be I have no idea what to do I feel hopeless
2007-11-25 04:47:22 · 12 answers · asked by mrpoet03 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She is certainly not acting like a wife. Your wife can't tell you how to live, especially if she's taking away the things that make you happy! That's ridiculous, because she's acting like your boss, not your wife.
The one thing that is causing that to happen is YOUR LETTING HER TREAT YOU LIKE THAT! You're a man, not a child. Nobody should tell you what to do. Why are you letting her play you for a fool?
You have to get your self respect, pride and dignity and tell her that you've had enough and this will stop today. If she doesn't love who you are and the things you want to do in life, then why did she marry you? Tell her that it is causing you to fall out of love with her. If she continues not to love you for who you are and what you want, then you will file for divorce.
She will probably get very angry at first and you might have a fight, but don't give up. Don't quit. Get what you want and that's when you'll see if she really loves you for who you are. If she doesn't try to fix the problem and show her love, you have to file. Good Luck
2007-11-25 05:06:02 · answer #1 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, are you one of these guys going through a middle aged crisis who feels his youth is slipping through his fingers? If so, then some but not all of your expectations may be somewhat unrealistic. So what is it that would make you happy? To buy a motorcycle and take a two week trip across country with her and/or your buddies? That's not unrealistic and is something both of you could share. She may not realize it, but even if she didn't go, her supporting you would make you appreciate her very much more and she'd be the one who gains the most. Climb to the top of Mt. Everest? That's a little more unrealistic considering you have a wife and maybe kids. A certain percentage of everyone who tries it freezes to death becoming a human popsicle and is left there forever. Fact. If she won't "let" you do something obviously dangerous that could leave her a widow, then it sounds as though you need someone with a little more sense to keep you from harming yourself. Try to talk with her about what you want although some wives are only concerned about themselves and you bringing home a paycheck. Beyond that, what you want is tough sh!t. Hopefully she isn't but also consider that if what you want to make you feel "extremely unique" is to quit your job to become an artist selling obviously crappy art on the street corner, then you're being unrealistic. You might want to talk to a third party such as a counselor or minister to decide how reasonable you're desires are and how or if she's being unreasonable. Everyone changes and needs change to keep from feeling stuck in a rut. Hopefully what you want could include her and open a whole new facet of life for both of you. (Hey, consider the bike, they're cool!)
2007-11-25 05:34:28 · answer #2 · answered by bikinkawboy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound just like my dad, I guess marriage is the same everywhere, but your wife should give you some space and know when to buzz off once in a while, I mean marriage people should stay together but, people are people and we sometimes need our own little space to be ourselves or else we become unhappy and sad. Try talking to her about how you feel, or else divorce might be an option for you.
2007-11-25 04:54:23 · answer #3 · answered by matrushka2525 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can a grown man allow his wife (or any one else) keep him from doing things that interest him? Send her on a weekend trip with her girlfriends (if she has any) and then handle your business!
2007-11-25 05:29:15 · answer #4 · answered by yummydiva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to really sit down and have a serious chat with your wife.let her know how you feel and stand your ground if you really want things out of life you need to go for it because it wont come to you if you sit back and let someone else run your life.explain to her that you will be a much happier person and in the end she will be happier also.i would never stop my husband from doing the things he loves to dobecause i love him that much
2007-11-25 05:05:01 · answer #5 · answered by heretohelp 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to be yourself and if she says you can't do it - do it. I've been in relationship and they were trying to control and change things that I didn't think I needed to change.
It is your life and there are things you could do to change it.
2007-11-25 04:58:21 · answer #6 · answered by s.omner 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to just be yourself. You can be married but you do need you own life. If she can't accept you then i'd have to say its time to move on.
2007-11-25 04:50:17 · answer #7 · answered by SiCnGaged 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she isnt allowing you do be ourself, or be anything. time for counseling or divorce~ sooner the better, it needs to be taken care of
good luck hun
2007-11-25 05:13:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be blunt, why don't you guys just get a divorce? Or else you'll both be making each other miserable.
2007-11-25 04:50:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No one can control you unless you let them. But perhaps all of these things are immoral...what exactly are they?
2007-11-25 04:50:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋