Except MOTHER-BABY love, all loves on this earth are 'Contractual Loves', ... they say.?

Question

Philosophers and Saints say, "All loves on this earth are Contractual loves only, except the 'Mother-Baby' love.
I say, Yes, and what is wrong in it ? How the Universe will survive otherwise ??
Now my Dear Friend, what is your view / advice / comment on this saying ???
Moreover, is the 'Mother-Baby' love is really an exception to that, viewing from all angles and corners ???

Answer 1

Yes and no.

Certainly it is hard to imagine a reasonable person loving someone who not only doesn't return the love, but actually makes life miserable instead. Likewise, there is plenty of evidence to suggest that mother-baby love is far from unconditional and universal (links below).

But on the other hand, some people are NOT reasonable. Sometimes love is built on an image of another person that bears no resemblance to reality... a circumstance which we have probably all observed, if not experienced ourselves. And for the most delusional of such relationships, I would say it is conceivable that love persists in spite of anything that goes on.

How else do you explain those people who stick with their love even when they are being flagrantly cheated on, disrespected, or even physically beaten on a regular basis?

Answer 2

wow, difficult question
i think if more loves were thought of in a contractual way, it would be a positive
to mean contractual, i dont think you can simplify it to only mean entered into freely, chosen , nor does it mean that both parties expect something from the relationship, and expect to give something,
with a contract, you define what you want, what you are willing to give, reach agreement with the other party, set out a plan to meet both individual and mutual needs, for something to be contractual, there must be a contract,
not many do this concerning love
for instance, if you and a friend both say and agree, lets open a business in this building, and that is all you state, you then have no basis to claim your friend isnt running the business correctly, didnt open the correct business, didnt share profits with you etc etc , there was no contract to define the situation
the same with love, if you meet someone and you both decide you are in love, and leave it at that, there is no contract exchanged, the only foundation/conditions of the love are within your own mind and expectations
as to mother/child, father/child love, that is the one area where one of the parties initially makes no decision in the relationship

Answer 3

You can be an exception.

A long time ago I thought that love was something that you reserved for some special set of people that you had judged worthy of it.

After a while I got to thinking about what Jesus had said about turning the other cheek and loving our neighbor I put the two together and realized that he had made no exceptions in these statements. It became obvious to me that he intended that we exclude no one from the love that we are supposed to be giving. I started thinking about my idea of love and suddenly realized that I had not been loving anyone at all. I had simply been judging everyone and every thing.

Judging someone worthy of love is not love, it is only judgment. I actually started to cry when I realized this. I saw just how much of my life I had wasted being judgmental, thinking of myself as a Christian, when I was actually doing just the opposite of what Jesus had asked us to do.

I thought about the verse judge not lest ye be judged, and I understood it for the first time.

I realized that I have a lot of catching up to do. So many opportunities were wasted. I now try to apply the love that I have for the world in a universal way like Jesus asks us to do.

If I start to feel afraid and think that I see someone that I should not love because of something I have thought or heard I try to catch my mistake as soon as possible. I tell myself that I have forgot the truth and have fallen for the same old trick that had cost me so many opportunities to be loving in the past. The horror of this realization is often all that is necessary to bring me back to my senses and make me drop the judgmental nonsense I was thinking.

I still have a lot to learn about love, but at least I’m making progress.

Love and blessings

Your brother
don

Answer 4

I would use 'conditional', nor 'contractual'.

We love people because those people are of value to us...and value means there are REASONS we love them...their honesty, their humor, shared hobbies, they are optimistic, they appreciate us, we have experiences with them that are positive, they give us good advice, their way of gesturing, petting the dog, being able to calm us down, etc, etc, etc....all wrapped up into THEM...their sense of life...personality....morality....which we love.

I do not believe in unconditional love. I think it strips away the meaning of 'love'. I could not love someone that was irrational, mean, kicks the dog, lies, makes fun of my hobbies, hurts me, etc, etc, etc...all wrapped up into THEM...a person I do not love or want in my life because they would happily ruin my life. If I loved both the nasty jerk and the wonderful friend...love means nothing.

So, where does that leave a mother and baby? The baby has no personality. There's no history with the baby. I'd say there is a bond, not love. I don't think all mothers love their children.