Men, should I go for alimony???
*My husband wanted me to close my business to help him run his, he never paid me.
*In our 7yr relationship there have been other women - no I never returned the favor. One of them recent (22 yrs old)
*He controlled the money.
* He lied to me about how much $$ we had.
* He gambled away plenty & lied about that too.
* He didn't pay the bills so everything is gone
* He wouldn't watch his stepkids (good ones that call him Dad) in the evenings so that I could work
* He left us in a very rural area w/ no phone, car, $$, or food
* He didn't pay the mortgage on the house that my Mom gave us and the bank repo'd it 2 weeks ago.
* He won't even admit to all that he has done, tries to justify it instead
* He was only loving when he wanted something
* He never "made love" to me, only talk dirty kind of sex
Now I want a divorce, do I or do I not deserve alimony or something. His business is about belly up to and he is being sued by several clients.
2007-11-25 01:31:44 · 12 answers · asked by tonyer71 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
As several have asked, I stayed for so long because I loved him & I took the vows very seriously. If I wouldn't have allowed him to treat me so badly for so long, then he wouldn't have and that is all my fault. Divorce was to be the last option and now it is the only one
2007-11-25 02:10:37 · update #1
Couple things here, but most importantly get out beforehe bankrupts his company and you end up partially responsible for the bills. In divorce courts, youll be awarde child custody with child support, probably spousal support (alimony), the house due to the children and all this without asking for it. He could possibly get state mandated visitation rights, but if the kids areold enough, do not have to obey if they refuse to go. The legal system is on your side here. His best bet would be to work out the details with you outside of the courtroom but remember do not sign anything with him til you are totally in agreement if you choose to settle outside the courtroom. You definitely deserve all youre legally entitled to here. Good luck and Happy Holidays
2007-11-25 02:56:05 · answer #1 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
According to the law, you are entitled to alimony if he is earning a wage and you are earning something substantially smaller. Also, you will be entitled to alimony for 1/2 of the time that you were married. You will also be entitled to child support if you had any children together. It sounds like he may not have significant financial resources post-divorce, which may mean that you will not get much alimony. Also, it is entirely possible that if you have greater financial resources than him post-divorce, that you would be the one to pay alimony. You need to consult with an attorney to get the complete picture and you need to also get a good idea about the net worth of you and your husband. Tax returns and financial statements will help you considerably.
Best Regards,
Docmase
2007-11-25 01:40:47 · answer #2 · answered by Docmase 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a guy and you did not give your age, but you sound very young to me. It sounds to me like you are experimenting with sex and feeling a bit guilty ("probably more than I should","I would do other things"). Do you have a school counselor you could talk to about these feelings? I am more concerned about your feelings of guilt rather than your actions. I worry that you may be thinking of sex as a way to capture or keep a guy. Please don't think that way in your teenage years because it won't work and you will only be hurt. It sounds like you are exploring sex which is natural and OK. Don't let guys pressure you and only do what is comfortable for you. Guys will complain about it, but they are delighted if you move slowly. I know that you say you are planning on saving for virginity until marriage, but young hormones are very powerful, and I suggest that you keep some condoms in your purse just in case. On another subject, you say "I wouldn't let him know yet". When the time comes that you know the boy well enough to do "other things", I suggest that you do them. Never have a plan that "If he takes me to an expensive dinner I will do X" or "If he invites me to the prom, I will do Y". Just go slowly and do what is comfortable when you feel ready. If he is pressuring you to go faster than you want then just say no. And another thing, remember that reciprocation is important. If you fondle him to orgasm, he needs to fondle you also. The same is true with oral sex. If we wants you to go down on him and you are ready to do it, then suggest that he goes down on you first. If he is not comfortable with that then you need to slow down and have a heart to heart talk. This is a fun and really challenging part of your life. Yes it will be confusing, and it is great to see that you are thinking well on how you should handle this. You are not likely to regret moving too slowly. You are much more likely to regret moving too fast. Good luck.
2016-05-25 07:43:00 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How did you end up waiting so long? Now that you are there, get the divorce and go for the "maintenance". No longer called allimony.
Stories like allow me to believe that there are still good women out there. Good luck!
2007-11-25 01:38:30 · answer #4 · answered by Juan C H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should try to get alomony. I dont think you will get it tho. cant hurt to try tho. sounds like you should have left a long time ago.the sex issue should be a example of how this guys mind works. when a man loves a woman. he will want her to feel wonderful all the time.he will life you and support you, he would have struggled to make your business work, not make you close it down.. good luck and hope you what is best for you
2007-11-25 01:50:21 · answer #5 · answered by road runner 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well if he was sucha bad husband cut all ties you have no kids together build your life back up without him if he didnt pay for stuff when you were married what makes you think he is going to pay alimony ...becasue its court ordered he'd rather go to jail .......just severe all ties and move on chalk it up as a bad part of your life that you WILL overcome
You have kids be there for them now live your life for them and eventually your knight in shinning armor will sweep yuou off your feet
2007-11-25 01:39:34 · answer #6 · answered by Dan M 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he a prix sounds like one low down emptyheaded selfish bastard . ur better rid of him get what you can an never look back . Better things ahead look forward to the future . an not all men r the same
2007-11-25 01:42:06 · answer #7 · answered by goldenballs 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u need to look at urself and ask why u let it get to this point. He does sound awful and if he had anything half should be ur's.....Like I said look at why u made the choices u did to stay, when u had to see where things were going.
2007-11-25 01:55:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do not have children together, do you REALLY want to be tied to this man in any way? I wouldn't. Besides - look at his track record. I am sure he would avoid legitimate work to avoid paying it!
2007-11-25 01:41:13 · answer #9 · answered by Teresa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a divorce attorney and file. Seek spousal support and you will be alright.
2007-11-25 02:01:18 · answer #10 · answered by bigapple 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋