Now we've been apart for 6 months and 1 month after our split he has a new relationship and is happy. I just don't get it. Was he looking for someone better the whole time. He kept making excuse after excuse why he would't commit. It was always something I had to change and then he would. The problem is we are going to be working together in the future and this is so hurtful. How do I deal with this. I don;t want to leave my job as the pay is higher than I can get elsewhere by quite a bit. I will never be able to look him the face. I feel so used and betrayed. He used to send the most beautiful cards and tell me I was the love of his life.
2007-11-25 00:48:45 · 8 answers · asked by lambie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The old adage is : why buy the cow when you get the milk free .
Never, ever live together when there is no commitment . What a heartbreak to waste all those years . I am truly sorry .
The fact is he got bored and moved on .
Now a word of advice concerning your job . Oh yes, that reminds me of another reason never to start an affair with someone you work with ! After you get sick of them or they of you, you still have to face them every day . I am surprised your situation lasted as long as it did because you were together practically day and night.
No way would I leave my job if I were you . Let him get the hell out if it bothers him.
Always dress to kill and make sure you look absolutely 'divine'. Don't walk around with red eyes looking sad and blue. Heck no, put on an act even if it kills 'ya . Let it be known that it's a relief and throw yourself into your work . It will pay off . Trust me .I have done it. And when the time comes that he wants to make amends and get you back, tell him to take a hike. Be firm about that .
Good Luck.
2007-11-25 01:16:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately there are no guarantees in any relationship, truth is maybe he was never satisfied in the relationship, but chances of him finding what he seeks is slim because he sounds as if he is seeking what is perfect, and no one is perfect. this has nothing to do wit u. he may seem happy now, but give it time and he will do the same thing to her if she doesn't always please him when he wants pleased. of course u are going to feel betrayed, he used u for years, than wouldn't marry u. u stayed way too long. if u are going to be working with him, it will bring back all the hurt and bad memories. best to leave that job, even if u have to take a pay cut. theres nothing worse than having to look into the face of a person u know used and hurt u. she isn't better than u, she is just something new, and it seems he gets tired of the familiar. cut all ties if u can, find another job, money isn't everything. his relationship won't be better than what he had with u, maybe not even as good after she finds out what she has.
2007-11-25 00:59:02 · answer #2 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he might've known he never was going to commit but was just comfortable and didn't want to go out looking for someone else. I know that's harsh but it could be true or he could be afraid of commitment and he'll never settle down. Frankly, I would stop worrying about why he did what he did. You will end up in a rut asking yourself why and you'll never get any concrete answers. Chalk it up to him being a jerk that wasn't good enough for you and move on!
Hold your head up high. 7.5 years is a very long time to get over I know, but you deserve someone who wants to be with you. He's not right for you, the sooner you realize that the easier it will be for you to heal. Don't focus on what you could've changed or what he did to you. It hurts but a guy like this is not worth your time. Don't quit your job, just avoid him and don't let him think that what he did destroyed you, even if it did.
Now is a good time to reach out to family and friends. Occupy your mind with hobbies and lots of things to do so you don't have time to think about him.
2007-11-25 02:51:00 · answer #3 · answered by Vivita 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Were you studying in college together with your superbooksmart brain? He the okay enough guy, you the smarty who walked him through it all? No matter what you tell yourself are the ways he used you, the fact remains you are hurt and angry, a little at him, a little at you. The best way to get over it is to be thankful for the good things that happened during the relationship.... Good luck to you....
2007-11-25 00:56:20 · answer #4 · answered by dumbuglyweirdo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say, but why buy the cow when the milk is free scenerio. Sometimes they never will commit. Just go about your life having learned some valuable lessons.
Best of luck to you.
2007-11-25 02:50:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you weren't apparently. This man didn't commit to you because what he was saying with his mouth was different than what his gut was telling him. You need to thank him, he did you a favor by being honest and leaving you. You are to blame for staying with a man who wouldn't commit. Next time pay attention to that and don't settle for crumbs.
2007-11-25 01:02:59 · answer #6 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just be strong and don't let him mess things up for you. keep your composure and realize he is the one who lost out not you. I know it hurts and you feel like crap but one day that all goes away so don't hold it up. Move on with your life not necessarily with someone else but just do for you.
2007-11-25 00:58:40 · answer #7 · answered by mariarh79 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
love fizzles
you just saw it for yourself
2007-11-25 00:56:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋