What do you honestly think I should do?

Question

I have been so depressed lately..i've had many thoughts of resorting back to cutting..i really don't want to but it's the only thing that made me feel partially sane and alive..sometimes you just need to feel pain to know you still exist...I love pain..and when i don't feel it..it's like i'm dead on the inside..whether it be physical..self inflicting..or whatever..I got to feel something..right now i'm so numb..and I don't know how much more I can take..I miss my husband so much..and I love him to death..I knew what i was getting myself into when i married him..he's military..so he of course has a job to do..I know he can't help it..and sometimes we have to sacrafice for the ones/things we love..and I am..however it seems the more he is gone..the shittier my health gets..i've been dropping weight like mad crazy..not eating or sleeping for that matter..I am constantly crying all the time..and the doctor says it's all due to stress..however the crazy part is..i'm not usually a stre

stressful person..i'm normally really layed back and content..however all this stress is literally killing me..I don't know what to do anymore..it's not fair to just quit when the going gets tough..but at the same time..i have to think of myself..and my health..and my well being..what do you think I should do? I mean he wants to stay in for the whole 20 years..do I just continue living like this for the next 16 years..or what? I don't even know anymore..do I put myself through this misery because that's all i'm used to feeling?

Answer 1

you know what I think honestly?

you're weak. As harsh as it sounds, it's true. Yes u miss your husband, but life moves on. You must realize that there are tons of people out there dieing yet struggling to live, yet you're going to lose something so precious over the loss of your husband.

I know it's hard, but think!! Whatever happened to your husband, do you think he wants to see you like this? For anyone for that matter?

Wake up, smell the fresh air. A new life is started without him, let the old life go and the new ring. You can do it!!!!

Answer 2

I am sorry that you are going through this. I get depressed too. You just have to keep reminding yourself that your husband would not want this, and moreover, the affect of cutting is not helping. It will ultimately make you feel worse because you are mutilating yourself. Seriously, do all the scars on your body look pretty to you when you are starring back at yourself via mirror? Most likely, they do not.

Personally, the thought of dying because of self-inflicted wounds would scare me, make me feel ugly, which is the polar opposite of alive. If you want to feel alive, go interact with friends, go read a book, go for a walk so the wind can blow through your hair. You might even go as far as to use toys to feed your sexual appetite, or rather, help you remember the intimate moments you have had with your husband. If you do these things, you will eventually regain the desire to eat.

Answer 3

Most people who self mutilate have some kind of abusive relationship they need to deal with. Your self mutilating ways were apparent long before you met your husband. I dont believe you are are a person who deosnt usualy feel stress. I believe you are person who goes along smoothly when things go your way, but as soon as something upsets you, you go back to your old ways of coping. Cutting yourself has become the only thing that you can connect with. It is the only thing you have control of.......e.g. how deep you cut.....what part of your body you decide to cut. Is it really the pain? I dont believe it is because all the self harmers that I have come into contact with explain their mutilation of themselves as a form of control....its not pain to them.....its a release. What are you hiding from......what happened to you....your husband being in the Military would not be the reason you self harm. You are only looking at excuses to justify you cutting yourself. You need to look at your entire life and work out when you started to self harm......if you can work that out then you will be able to deal with the real reasons why you do it.

Self harm is not an easy thing to deal with, there could be many reasons why you do it. You need some counselling because the way you cope with stress is not healthy for you. There is something you are keeping to yourself. Once you admit what the real reasons are, then you can be helped. Whilever you cover over the real reasons and make exuses, nothing will change.

Answer 4

First of all, do not trust the doctors a lot. You go there because of an ear infection, they tell you you have a stres../ just an example. I understand that you need to feel something to feel alive, but what about starting to feel something else rather than pain? For example, you said you love your husband... love makes us feel alive. Concentrate on it. On the other hand, you say you want to feel alive, be good, not to suffer, but you confess that you love pain. Well, most of the time we get what we love, or if you religious, God gives us what we long for. You said you love pain, you have it, you suffer, you lose weight. I usge you to love something else and you'll have it.
Whatever you decide to do, good luck...

Answer 5

why cut when you can pray. you have a wonderful man that knows what he wants and you are secure in knowing that you don't have to worry about food or your health because of the military. cutting is the fools way of trying to get some thing. it sounds like you are very bored. you need to get out more and see people. it is lonely to be in military life.

Answer 6

I think you should find somebody to talk to. Does your husband know? My husband just recently found out that I was cutting and he didn't want to talk about he just wanted me to stop. So I got on-line and asked a similar question and found some people to talk to. they also told me how to find other sources of help besides people that will judge. I haven't found a therapist yet and I am kind of avoiding it. But I haven't cut since I been able to talk about it with others on-line.

Answer 7

Wow. I would strongly suggest you find a counselor to talk to. I promise you that the feeling of satisfaction you get from cutting is only temporary...and it will require more and more to satiate the more often you choose to cut. Honey, find some help before you hurt yourself. I pray for your man to come home soon.

Good luck.

Answer 8

Please don't cut yourself. Imagine how you would feel if your husband came home injured. Now imagine how he would feel if he came home to find you injured. It would feel just as bad for him.
If you need help to get through this period, get in contact with his home base. They have people there that can help you. Get in contact with other military wives, they can talk you through how to deal with the separation.
Talk to your doctor about medication to help you through. Tell him about the weight loss, and not sleeping. It sounds a lot like depression, and there is help out there for you. Please take it. If not for your own sake then for the peace of mind of your husband.

Answer 9

A lot of people suffer from depression and it's nothing shameful. You should see a doctor, so they could help you. It's nothing wrong to ask for help. Maybe you genetically inherited depression, and depression can be serious. Do it for your husband. I am pretty sure that you don't want to do anything that would devastate your husband.

Answer 10

well, i know how you feel ````

```````````anyway, you should stop hurting yourself for the sake of your husband`` you're now living apart from each other, but it doesnt necessarily mean that you two can not be together again```` so all you gotta do is wait with patience and belive that there'd be a bright future of you two`````