My husnabd told me he is not in love with me as much as 13yrs ago?

Question

I asked my husband to leave to think about what he wants as he is always drinking with his mates. He has told me he is not in love with my like 13yrs ago. I told him the honeymoon period is not forever. I kept going off tap as it was killing me to hear this. he told me that why would he come home to that & I told him I would not be like that if he was home. I have a 2yr and 7yr old. He told me he hopes to work it out. He comes and goes as he pleases and I am not sure if he is playing hard to get?. I want him home. He sends mixed emotions as today he spoke about geting ducted air con in the home?. Other days he says we have to take it one day at a time. I told him we should see someone but he won't. He has been gone for 11weeks and each day I try to be strong but it's hard and then I call and abuse him. i am hurting so much and I have no idea what is right or wrong. People say just let him go, other say play hard to get. I have been with him 13yrs and married 8yrs

Answer 1

If he's not willing to compromise (sounds like he isn't one to) then I think it's time to leave him.. He's not changing his attitude, and actions speak so much more than words. But really only you cna decide it for yourself whether you feel it's right or wrong. ALSO take in considerations of your children, whether he is a threat to them or not.

Answer 2

This guy has a problem with handling responsibilities tellhim he is nolonger a newlywed that he is now a father as well as a husband that the days of him hanging out with his single buddies is over. That he has issues and responsibilities at home. That he has 2 kids under the age of 10 that ned a father figure not a drunk a ss that spends more time hanging with his friends then his family.

Tell him he has an ultimatum either he goes with you to counselling to resolve these issues and to get this marriage back on track, or he can start paying alimony and child support because you cannot handle his child like behavior and his stupid antics any longer.

Really it is time for you to put your foot down and for him to step up to the plate and face the consequences of his actions or the lack there of.

Come on he is a father and a husband before he is a friend to these morons. He needs to wake up and smell the coffee
he is putting his friendships ahead of his family that is just wrong your suppose to be his best friend and he is treating you like this.

Answer 3

You act like he is the only man on earth. Life is to short for that dont you know when he is gone he is with other women.My husband used to leave me and my 2 year old son for 3 days at a time and when he did come home he slept on the sofa .I took my son and moved in with my mom got a job and put my X husband on child support 2 years later I met a man who is now helping me raise my son and he never leaves me home alone. The man I am with now is home every night and does not go out partying .We have been together 6 year and plan on getting married this year.

Answer 4

well. i havent personally experienced this yet since i am not married. maybe u should tell him how you feel. When he said those things, he probably didnt know how bad those things hurt you to hear. You sound like you are really trying to be strong and tough and not let your emotions out. If you just took him in a room and told him everything, even if u start crying, it will hit him to the core, he'll realize wat he did was wrong. With this other hard to get stuff, thats only if u feel comfortable with spicing up the home life.dont always assume it is you

Answer 5

I truly feel your frustration and what i see here is that you are lacking one may key thing to repair your relationship. Your husband is hurting. You are doing some intentionally while others you might not be knowing it. Do you respect him? if you do, he will respect you. How do you respect him? Do you love him? if you do, let your love be with action. He will respond and give you love. Do your give him his space? do you get into his nerve each time he is around? If you do, change it. Altitude is one thing men finds it hard to deal with.So to repair your marriage, this question will come to play a big role. A better understandable communication is the key to solve your souring marriage. Beginning with respect and love, know what to say, when to say, and how to say thing or asking whatever is in mind. Don't be hard in heart. Say am sorry where possibly you make a mistake. Politely learn to say "yes" followed by ifs when in doubt for him to clarify and ask for details if you misunderstood him. He will give it in and love you back. Stop abusive languages because they don't help you accomplish/gain anything but rather making things worse than they are already. His drinking problem is as a result of stress in him family but as long as you keep up yourself, respect him, communicate better, your marriage life would turn around. It would take sometime but don't give up reevaluating yourself and doing what you are supposed to do.

Answer 6

It's my opinion that you should get into counselling on your own even if he won't go. He needs to work out whatever, but it seems that you are left hanging in the wind and unsure of your future. Counselling can help you see it in a clearer way to take whatever steps you need to.
Did I read it right that he has been gone for 11 weeks? Is this for work or just because. If it's just because, it appears that he may have already made his decision...if so, get counselling to get strong and get your life in order for your kids and you.
You can't change what has happened, but you can decide what is going to happen from today on for the rest of your life. Be strong and have faith!

Answer 7

at the moment you need to back off your husband if you want him back

abusing or demanding a person will only make them runeven if they love you or even if there behaviour is wrong such as your husbands drinking

First thing ask yourself do you really want him back if the answer is yes first thing get rid of the anger of your husbands answer about love

How do you really feel about him I am sure you also have confused times when you are unsure of the love you feel for him

the next thing start taking care of yorself Do you feel desirable How did you treat him and yourself when you where dating

So many things change when we are busy with children etc we forget who to treat ourselves well and our partners. Ask him about himself tell him about his good ponits realise if you really want him pride can keep people away

make your home safe and loving so that your husband wants to be there and so do you

good luck.

Answer 8

I feel for you....This is a very tough spot to be in....I think you should really see somebody in a professional capacity that can be somewhat objective....your friends and family really can't be...You need a safe place to vent and sort out your feelings, so you can do what's best for you and for your children, whatever that turns out to be, whether its making up or going your own way. Best of luck to you.

Answer 9

Men should not do this to women. You want him home and that's where he should be helping you with the kids. What a bastard. I'm a dude and that shouldn't be done by either man or woman. Is he married to these guys he goes out with? What the hell? I don't get that but I love my wife and anybody that tries to take away from that gets the glock to the face.

Answer 10

Revenge for not getting what he wants, is you not getting what you want ( and vice versa). Unfortunately, the result is very much magnified from the initial incident. Get over it. He's gone forever.