well, she was the first person i was brave enough to tell my feelings to, but she was also the first to turn me down...its been more than a year..i dont see her anymore..but i still wonder maaybe i could have done better....and wonder how i will act if i see her again....ever felt like this?...ive done a lot of things since then..not like i think about her a lot, but yes, i still think about her....
2007-11-24 18:02:08 · 3 answers · asked by vincent m 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
It's normal in that most people do it, at least sometimes, but it's not healthy. It's called ruminating and it's that "what if??" syndrome...it's not healthy cause you can't change the past. I mean, if the situation didn't have a good outcome, it's fine, even helpful to initially figure out what you maybe could have done differently, more in line with your values, etc., so that next time you can try a different approach. But then you have to let it go or you won't be happy. By ruminating over a situation, you're still clinging to it. Recognize that the past is the past, figure out if there is anything NOW that you can do to change any part of it. (Is she still alive, still single, still in relatively reasonable proximity, whatever?) If you can actively do something in this present moment, go ahead. If you can't, you really need to let it go. Some people make up some type of ritual for giving up the old idea - writing stuff about it then burning it or imagining locking the old ideas in a trunk and throwing it in the ocean or burying it. It's difficult at first but, with time, you can stop by noticing when you are thinking about her and just see the thought as a cloud drifting by. The longer you ruminate over something, the harder it will be to stop - just like any habit.
2007-11-24 18:22:31 · answer #1 · answered by lotus4yoga 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's too normal imo. We need to think about it more as a measure to improve.
If you wonder if you could have done better, it's obvious you did well. When we do poorly, we normally don't have to wonder because we know it.
The better you focus on your current life, the better you will do when you see her again.
2007-11-25 02:26:05 · answer #2 · answered by Robert B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it's quite normal.
That is what encourages a lot of people to act and do to achieve a result for the better.
2007-11-25 02:18:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋