Help with husband who doesn't communicate and has left his family?

Question

My husband has left us for the 2nd time in two weeks. He avoids any kind of conflict like the plague. He also has real anger problems. He says he loves me but just can't deal with the communication problems we have. Help!!

I don't think he is cheating. I've checked cell phone records and if he's not working, he's here. Well, not now, because he left. But, anyway before he left. His mother says he gets all of this from his father. I've already tried to get him to go to counseling. Of course, he refused. He says he's just not "ready" to deal with these issues that arise. When he came back home, he said he thought he was ready, he's just not. This time the whole reason was he wanted to go hunting (after only being home for 3 days). I told him that was fine but, he had committed to go to church with us on Sunday (today) and then informed me that he was going hunting and spending the night and would not be able to make it to church. I told him this upset me because he promised me we would all go to church. The kids are afraid of him due to his anger issues. Should I not force them to see him alone? They do not want to see him alone at this point.

Answer 1

Wow! He sure is dumping a guilt trip on you. I think you could use cheaters.com. Find out what he really is up to. Leaving your family 2 times in 2 weeks shows me there is something else going on. He is a coward and a liar. I feel it.
I lived the same way for 3 yrs with a man who came home only to disappear for days on end and then show up for supper like it never happened. Then he started doing the flea market thing and decided he could quit his job and I would pay all the bills. Then he stopped giving me even that information.
You need to decide what you want. If you want to put up with this disappearing act then thats ok. If its making you misreable, then make your own decisions and get out of this.
Believe me, the last thing on his mind is going to church. He doesnt give any thought to what his promises are. He just sounds very unhappy, and wants out, but doesnt know how to get there. You and what he considers your kids are just an obstacle in his way. Swallow it or pack your bags and leave him. Hope you have a good job. You got to quit complaining and move on with your life....life it too short for his crap. There are other men out there who would love to make a life and a home with you. He has his own agenda and its not you and the kids.

Answer 2

He can't deal with the communication problems? He sounds like the problem. Real men do not run from their responsibilities. They face problems head on and deal with them. We really need more details but if I were you I would tell him to stay gone. Are you just suppose to bend to his ways and keep your mouth shut so he will not feel threatened and not leave? I would not do that. Find yourself a real man that can deal with life and not blame you for his inadequacies.

Answer 3

Sounds like you need to be in the child support office Monday morning. and calling legal aid, for a divorce.
Men do not leave b/c they cannot talk to their wives, (that's a reason why women leave). Sounds like you have a much bigger problem in your marriage that you do not know about.

Answer 4

If it is the second time just let him go. But if he feels their are communication problems you may want to see if you are the true culprit.

Answer 5

Try and get him to go to a counsellor with you and find out what you can do to make the communication between you, easier for him. If he won't agree to do this, go and see a counsellor by yourself and find out what you can do.

Answer 6

sounds like you are better off. he's an angry coward, and is just running away from problems. you can't MAKE him do anything.