how do you just walk away after 12 years?

Question

of marriage

I would have asked this in the other area's but I'm happy here so if you dont mind any advice would help

Answer 1

I just walked away after 17 years this past summer.
It was hard-- but even harder to imagine another 17 years like the ones I endured.
Don't look back, look forward. Whatever time you have left on this earth is valuable, regardless of how much time you spent before.
If it can be fixed, then do. If not and you've done everything you can to try and make it work, then get a good counselor to get you through the rough spots and look forward to your next chapter.

My best to you!

Edit: I should add that in my case, there was abuse and my kids and I are MUCH better off now. Even with the abuse, I tried everything I could think of to make it work...

Answer 2

Hi,
You "work" through it, you don't walk away; that is 1 step.
Then take plenty of "quiet" time and think things out, like where the both of you went wrong, what you could or couldn't have done to change things or make them better, and just take all the time you need to get used to the way it is now.
Maybe you both could reconcile in time, if that is an option, later on, BUT you can focus on now anyway and handle that at this time. Any Divorce isn't easy, so take it easy and have some good talks with a relative, Friend or even a Counselor, as this will help you deal through this difficult time.

Take Care and be positive.

Answer 3

Some people are just like that. I guess when you are unhappy then you are unhappy. I am also currently having trouble with my marriage. We have only been married for almost 3 years and it seems like the whole thing has been an uphill battle, ever since the very first week. I don't even know if I really love my wife any more and I have seriously thought about getting a divorce. However, I am willing to fight for whats right. Most of the time I am unhappy, however, I know that when you get married that you are suppose to get married for life, not till you get tired of it.

How someone can walk away after 12 years, you will really have to do some thinking to find out what went wrong. Talk to your signifigant other, if she will still talk to you, and try and find out what went wrong. If not to save this marriage, it might help you out in your next one. Try not to think about it to much and don't dwell on it. Going through something like this can be very tramatic. I know because my mom has been divorced 6 times and married 7.

Answer 4

You know if your right or wrong and you don't hurt your kids no matter how far away you have to mail the support checks from.
When your gut says enough is enough open the door and know where your going to sleep for the time it may take you to find a new job and walk through the threshold and don't look back.
You can always call your kids but don't expect your X not to Villianize you. You will be hurt unless your kids are older and see what you went through.

Answer 5

Please dont act like you don't know why I'm leaving...I saw you with her and I can't wait for you forever and I sorry but its to much pain and to much heartache to see you with her...and I cant play these games anymore I can't just pretend that I dont see whats going on with you and her. When we first met you told me I was your one and only, your everything...but I guess it was all one big lie. So what do you have to say? Actually NO! I dont even want to hear it...I want you out now or I'm literally going to be the one walking away. All I can do is love you honey but if thats not enough for you than I dont know what else I can do. So its your choice lay in the bed you made or find a way to win me back though if you choose the second choice it doesnt mean that I'll forget what you've done...because you know what you've broken my trust and all that I gave you................................................................................

Answer 6

It's hard to walk away after that much time...I'll be honest with you about my life...I walked away after 13 years...he was cheating and I found out in a horrible way...I loved him and never in my wildest dreams did I think he'd ever cheat on me...but he did and I left him...

Listen, I don't know what your situation is, but I would say think it over (I'm sure you have been) and maybe seek some help for yourself first. Don't make any rash decisions. Also, talk to your spouse...find out what's happening.

Good luck and God Bless. I could just imagine what you must be going through!

Answer 7

Think about what was wrong with the marriage and then walk out listening to Better Off- Theory Of A Dead Man

Answer 8

I walked out the door right in front of him as he sat in his brown recliner drinking beer out of his brown bottle watching the Browns play football after 24 years. It was only rough the first couple of weeks...but, after that I knew I would never go back . When you lose trust, respect then the love is gone, too.

Answer 9

You just cant 12 years is alot of time maybe you can separate but youll always have that 12 years w/ you Just think about it try to work things out if not just make sure youll never regret it and and dont part w/ many things unsaid.

Answer 10

It's really not that hard.. I mean some people get married for all the wrong reasons and oviously they stayed together for reasons they attempted to make it work or they didn't want to devistate their children. If the love is gone the feelings for the other person should be pretty much not there, but if your still inlove then work hard to get them back!