i was with this girl off and on like 5 times and once shortly after we got back together she told me that we should get married (AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!). i was freaked out and didn't know what to say so i said ok....... i think i want to marry her, i love her more than i ever thought i could, but im a 17 year old boy. how should i have reacted and do we have a shot? (shes as old as i am)
2007-11-24 14:24:16 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should've told her that maybe someday, but that it is way too soon to consider it now. Also, I do not think you have a shot at all considering how you reacted to her saying that and the fact that you are both only 17. I know that sometimes marriages last a lifetime when people have gotten married at that age, but I know that it takes a special relationship and two very special, commited people to make it work.
2007-11-24 14:51:03 · answer #1 · answered by zaytox0724 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From someone who has been there, it is better to wait. I know that at 17 your feelings may be quite strong for this girl and vise versa, but teen marriages don't often last. I was 17 when I was engaged to my first husband and 18 when we married (simply because you have to be 18 in my state without parental permission). I have a beautiful daughter from that marriage, but there is no relationship between the father and I at all anymore. It is one of those situations where you had wished you had listened to your parents and I have learned from my mistakes. I now have 3 children and I pray for their future. I talk to them and explain to them how important a good education is as I am now 40 and have returned to school to work toward a better job. It is too late for me to "turn back time" now, but you have a good shot at getting your future on track before you worry about marriage and settling down. Go to college, get an education and a good job and make sure that you are in a position to start a family. Good luck!
2007-11-24 22:33:28 · answer #2 · answered by vadavoodi 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow, she is young to be all about that! What, does she think she gets to be a housewife and does not need to grow up and get a job first? I know it all sounds high-test right now, but she should be willing to at least wait until you both finish school or get your GED or whatever. What is she, crazy to live with your folks for the next 20 years with you? She needs to give you until after school and then you need to think about this! Some girls are very afraid of being on their own or their folks said they will kick them out the day school ends, so they are not sure what they will do. There is time to get married, try being engaged for a year, at least!
2007-11-24 22:51:20 · answer #3 · answered by Amy R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you two really love each other, a ring and a marriage certificate will not make a sudden difference. If she loves you now enough to marry you, what difference does it make if it will be in 5 or 10 years? Perhaps she didn't mean "get married" anytime soon, but eventually. You know, young women do talk like that sometimes
2007-11-24 22:29:22 · answer #4 · answered by jerseyf2005 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
absolutely do not get married!!!!!! you are way to young and so is she. you guys still need to grow up and experience new things..go to college, hit legal drinking age and go out dancing, etc. trust me..i am only 25 and there is a big difference between how i was then and how i am now. i was in love at that age but if i had married that guy i would be miserable as what you want at 17 is rarely what you want a few years later...not to mention i would have missed all the fun i had dating different men and getting to know all kinds of different people. trust me...do not do it!!!
2007-11-24 22:34:59 · answer #5 · answered by Heather 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her that you have no problem with getting engaged ,but the marriage will come down the road as in when you turn 20 to make sure your lives are on the right track and that you know the two of you will last. if she has a problem with that ,then tell her if all she is wanting is to just get married then she will have to look somewhere else.
2007-11-25 00:25:32 · answer #6 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An off and on relationship isn't a good way to start married life.....it sounds more like trying to escape her home life. Wait until after college to get married. She sounds too immature for an adult relationship
2007-11-24 22:35:25 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had a reason for freaking out. Your gut instinct was telling you what your head already knows, you are both too young. I am not saying that you are too young to be in love or handle responsibilities, but that you are both too young to realize how different you will be two or three years from now.
2007-11-24 22:29:47 · answer #8 · answered by jules 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not even walk down that path yet your too young. Finish college and get a career and then maybe just maybe she will be there waiting for you if not it wasn't meant to be.
God Bless and Best Wishes really you haven't even started life yet do not marry it will not last.
2007-11-24 22:31:21 · answer #9 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Slow down and make sure it is what you want. Besides it goes beyond that - can you take care of yourself, can she?
Be sure before you get married. 17 is young - live life to its fullest at your age as a 'couple'. If it is meant to be you guys will get married. It will feel right. Be honest to yourself and her.
2007-11-24 22:28:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋