Help I am a 16 year old kid and cannot take my parants fighting. How do I tell them they need help?

Question

my parants have been married for 20 years. I am 16 years old. This past year there fighting has really gotten bad. I fear that they do not love each other no more. They show no love for each other and disagree at everything. How do I tell them they need professonal help? I have a problem that I feel that I always have to be around them to try my hardest to make sure they dont fight. They constant fighting I feel is really damaging my mentally. My dad says he does not need counceling.

please please help me

Answer 1

here`s a creative ideal. write a letter and mail it to your own house. in the letter explane what you are doing and tell them how you feel. good luck

Answer 2

Its not easy being grown up. There are alot of things that dont go the way we want. There are many things that stress us out jobs, mortgage/rent, car payments, credit card bills, utilties etc. and all these things and responsibilities mount up. When we overextend ourselves we can get angry at the smallest things. While when we are young we think that relationships are easy in reality marriage is very hard work, as we grow older we change in the way we think and the things we want the relationship is constantly changing.
And even though we still love the other person, the truth is that we are probably better people individually than we are together. When adults argue yes its a sign that they may need help and not wanting to go is a way of pretending that there is no problem.
You can try talking i said talking dont get drawn into an argument asking one of your parents to go to counseling without the other.
When two people are yelling at each other neither one is heard. And more than likely all that yelling is an effort to be heard.
In all relationships/marriages there are going to be disagreements if you listen to the other persons view half the battle is solved.
No one wins a fight, if you have too keep score then there will always be a loose and that can leave hurt feelings and more tension.
But more than anything please remember it's not your fault if your parents fight. Its their marriage not yours.

Answer 3

First things first, you really do need to speak with family services (social services). Unless you are very rich, in which case all you have to do is send her to a boarding school until she turns 18. Likely, social services will have a way to deal with your daughter without endangering your grandchild. However, the main thing is to know what she's doing. If she's refusing to go to school, call the police. Skipping school is against the law. If she's drinking or doing drugs, call the police, those are also against the law. If she's taking anything from your home withough asking (for example, money or the car) call the police. Let her see that what she does is her responsibility. In the mean time, stop providing anything but basic necessities for her. Provide for the child, but not your daughter. Let her have five changes of clothing, lock up the rest. Allow access to basic raw foods (peanut butter, break, canned vegetables and fresh fruits) but, if you can, lock up the rest. Do not give her any privelages at all until she starts respecting the rest of he household. Take away any 'perks' you've provided her. These include her purse, any fancy toiletries, make-up, all but one pair of sneakers (she doesn't need sandles or any other shoes). Provide her only generic or low cost shampoos and soap and toothpaste. Really make her live on basic necessities! She'll get it into her head that you're serious.

Answer 4

Sit them done a together tell them that they need to listen to you that you do not want to here anything until you have finished tell them this. Youe constant fighting is mentally damaging and I feel stressed out and depressed with how you treat each other that if they cannot stop or atleast look at getting some help then maybe the best plan of action is to break up. I know that you would like to see your parents stay together but reality sometimes there is no other way to fix the relationship.

Tell them they need counselling that your sick and tired of all the yelling and arguing that is all they do. If your dad says NO
tell him flat out that he is in serious denial if he cannot see what he is doing to your mom and himself and you in sidelines. Really sometimes until parents are shown their actions are causing alot of crap they just brush it off.

Answer 5

Maybe you should try to go elsewhere when they fight. It's probably best not to get into their fights but sometimes I know you most likely can't help it. It could also be best just to wait things out and see if maybe this is a "phase" and it will pass over. And trying to tell one parent that they need counselling is just going to make someone more angry in experiences I've witnessed. I hope some part of this helps.

Answer 6

AS a Sixteen year old your smart. Why don't you not tell them you what out of the house until they both grow up and quit fighting. You do not need this way of life. Remember this is just a thought. It might make them think.

Answer 7

tell your parents that you need help. and hopefully they will be interested in your well being and you can tell them that the fighting is negatively impacting your mental and emotional health. maybe they don't realize what the fighting is doing to you. if they don't get help for you, go to the school nurse or some other adult you feel you can trust and ask for help. maybe you can even write a heartfelt letter to your parents letting them know how you feel. you might even make a tape of them fighting. sometimes when people hear themselves fighting, it will shock them into taking a closer "look" at themselves and maybe drive them to get the help they need. i wish you all the best my dear one...

Answer 8

First of all I am so sorry you have to deal with this. Kudos to you for reaching out and asking for help.
It is absolutely not your responsibility to referree their fighting habits. Nor is thier fighting your fault. Unfortunetly you are caught in the middle. Your parents are so caught up in thier own acidic reality...they dont realize how selfish thier behaviour is and how damaging it is to you.
Pick up the telephone book. Look thru marriage counselors in the yellow pages. Write down several choices for them to call and schedule with. Give a copy to your dad and a copy to your mom. Tell them in no uncertain terms....with a calm voice and demeaner.......that they need to schedule because you cannot take it anylonger.
p.s............Dads/guys RARELY believe that they need counseling.

Answer 9

How about you sit them down and tell them it really bothers you that this is going on. There is nothing wrong with you telling them how you feel. You have to live there and sometimes people do not think that what they are doing is hurting others but when pointed out might help them see that.

Answer 10

theres realy not a lot you can do yourself. they have to first see that there is a problem and want the counceling.
you should be out having fun with friends and enjoying things that kids your age do,and not having to worry about your parents fighting.
talk to them !
tell them what you see and how you feel
if they hear it from you, it might make then think twice and realise that there is a problem