I find it so hard to go into stores blaring xmas music, decorations everywhere you turn. I look at the little xmas dresses for tiny girls and I want to cry, pass the displays of toys and my heart aches. Every time I turn on the TV there is some fictional family decorating a tree and drinking hot chocolate and having a "family moment". All the commericals geared towards "that special someone" in your life.
My dads birthday was xmas eve.I used to have huge family dinners , the kids were still little and nice. Now there is just me and my kids left and my daughters isnt talking to me again, which is the same as every xmas for the past 5-6 yrs.
When I get put on hold on the phone now I have to listen to xmas music and everytime I turn around there is something else shooting an arrow into my heart that says "you are all alone" . Its very depressing.
I am sure I am not the only one who finds holiday seasons so very very hard to get through. Anyone else in the same boat as me?
2007-11-24 13:12:40 · 19 answers · asked by isotope2007 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
I guess for many of you, like me, its the memories of when the kids were little and sweet and xmas was magical and the house filled with grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends and neighbours. I used to love the baking, the cooking, the tree all lit up and everyone sitting around talking, a fire in the fireplace, snow falling - I know a lot of you have never even had that - and yes we will survive but it hurts all the same.
2007-11-24 21:11:05 · update #1
Yes dear, I can relate to your loneliness at holiday time. My daughters are grown and I am divorced. I also dislike the Christmas music, toy isle, and decorations. I only hope things get better for you and myself as well. Sorry
By the way ~ love your avatar!
Where did you get it?
2007-11-24 13:24:07 · answer #1 · answered by sally 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Count me in. My one son, his wife and my granddaughter will be taking off for Europe the day after Christmas. The other son is on his way to Antartica after New Years. I am alone too. But this will truly be the first Christmas that I am alone. But we all have to get through it.
Agree I hate going to the Malls and seeing everyone shopping till they drop. With finances being limited it is hard to even think about Christmas and giving. Trying to survive every day life is more important. I do not want a pity party.
But just realize there are some people that are just not as fortunate as others. The weather is gloomyand cold and that
does not make it any better. You just want to curl up and try to stay warm. So I say Happy Holidays to those of us that are in the same boat. They may not be the Happiest, but I do know that there are other people out there, and some are worse off. than I even. Nobody said life was fair
2007-11-25 07:26:02 · answer #2 · answered by Moe 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Isotope2 - I am in the same boat. Kids can be very cruel -but I am a firm believer that what goes around - comes around. I no longer enjoy the holidays- I do not go to the stores and the music (in elevators, on phones) drives me crazy. My happy memories break my heart and now make me cry - they are gone and will never come back. I shopped online for 2 friends this year - went and bought a couple of cards for those out of state, and will eat a steak on my own on 12/25/07! But look at the brightside - it will all be over with very soon! CJ
2007-11-24 18:45:39 · answer #3 · answered by CJ 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I personally think that letting one self get all caught up in the hype of the ''holidays'' will only set you up for disappointment. Life is not like the movies, books and songs of Xmas. It is all fantasy. The sooner we realize it and stop trying to live the dream the better off we are. I know that some people may think that I sound cold hearted. But I try to make every day as special as I can. I do not put great emphasis on the ''holidays''
2007-11-24 18:33:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I lost a sister-in-law to a car accident 12/26/95 and the holidays have never been the same. Then last year, on the same day, my best friend's husband died. I have these negative associations but things are looking up.
I have 2 new grand daughters and a grand son on the way. As sad as things are, life seems to hand me a balance.
I know so many people who find the holidays difficult. I think part of that stems from all the "cheer" everyone is expected to express.
2007-11-24 13:25:15 · answer #5 · answered by katydid 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I lost my youngest son two weeks after Christmas in 1988. Ever since then, the holidays have been depressing for me. I get through them, but I'm always glad when they're over for another year. It's still hard for me, especially when it's time to decorate my home & put up the tree, but I manage to do it. I am so blesed to be living in the south, where my sons & their families are. One son is fifteen minutes away & the other son is eleven hours away. Being with family during the holidays is something I really look forward to. I have five prescious grandchildren & feel so blessed to have them in my life. They cheer me up every time I see their sweet smiling faces & we exchange hugs & kisses. Try reflecting on the real meaning of Christmas & may it bring peace into your heart. Like my mom always told me, "when you're down, don't forget, there's always someone worse off than you." She was right.
2007-11-24 13:54:47 · answer #6 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The choice is mine as to whether I will be happy or not, it is a mindset. Since I have spent the last 7 years alone during holidays, I had a choice to make, shall I be sad or shall I give to others who need help. I opt to be happy and help someone else out during this time. Whether it is serving a meal, talking to others or clean up, I choose not to be alone, others have many heavy burdens to bear at least I can be kind and caring . I also remember the true meaning of Christmas, not the commercializerd versions, or Hallmark card versions.
It is a matter of how you choose to think that will determine your joy.
2007-11-25 02:50:32 · answer #7 · answered by slk29406 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I used to feel low from Thanksgiving through the New Year. It was a state of depression and I could be in a crowd with loved ones and feel lonely. Antidepressents only shadowed the problem until I bought a sun lamp for seasonal affective disorder and I've been free of depression for 10 years now. It might not be the events making you sad if you have a medical condition--so anyone feeling sad could have SAD.
2007-11-24 13:42:11 · answer #8 · answered by Dianne m 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You and me kid. We're in the same boat. My daughter's birthday is the same as mine, Dec. 29th. She was killed by a drunk driver when she was 19. My dad died 5 weeks later and a few years after that, my husband. Holidays are hell. I am really going to try to do better this year. I'll be alone again, but I will try to ignore as best I can. I have a son only 120 miles away. I always invite him and he came once for a couple of hours. I am not holding my breath until he invites me.
2007-11-24 13:30:56 · answer #9 · answered by curious connie 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You need to Focus on the real meaning of Christmas. The music and the decorations are a tribute to the True Meaning of the season. Whatever you percieve God to be, focus on that Love for he is always with you. We choose to be sad or be happy. Look at the blessings around you and be a blessing to others. Instead of being put on hold, just call your family quickly and say, "I just called to say I love you". If you are in good health, spread your blessing to others all year long in your spare time: police depts, hospitals, shelters need volunteers always. You make friends and believe me you won't be lonely. Choose to be HAPPY. Your smile is a gift to someone / everyone.
Merry Christmas from Texas
2007-11-24 13:31:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋