My 15 year old friend left her home because she was having problems with her mom, now, the thing that's concerning me is that the person that she left the house with is a 26 year old, married man, who's wife is in Iraq. Now, I am really worried because Stephanie is changing so much, and I am scared that this guy could be doing something to her and neither her family or me know about it. Her mom is aware that Stephanie left with this guy, but she just seems to not care. What should I do? Call the cops? Tell the counselors at school? I don't know what to do, because I am scared that Stephanie might not talk to me ever again. Please help me!!!
2007-11-24 12:47:21 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
call 1-800 RUNAWAY now. this is not good at all. they cannot force her to go home, but they can get her some help.
2007-11-25 14:06:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest you tell the school counselor/social worker, since her mom doesn't seem to care about her daughter's whereabouts. They can handle it from there. They would probably try to do an intervention with mother and daughter to see how they could work out their issues. If anyone should call the cops, it should have been her mother, because that's her child, and she seems to be aware that her daughter is staying with a married man. You are trying to be a good friend, and I hope she will realize that someday. That man is a perv for messing around with an underage girl, while is wife is serving a worthless war. He should be ashamed of himself.
I hope things don't get worse. Still try to talk to her.
2007-11-24 12:58:37 · answer #2 · answered by Sa_San 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all your right to be concerned your friend is a minor and this guy could be a sexual preditor. If I were in your shoes, I would call the cops, or go to the counselor, just someone in charge that can get the ball rolling on an investigation as to where your friend has been staying and who with. Obviously you feel she is in danger or you wouldn't have posted this, and her saftey means much more to you than her speaking to you. The one thing you have to remember is that even if she never speaks to you again, you will know in your heart you did the right thing, and if it were you in that situation, in the back of your mind you would want someone to do the same thing for you.
2007-11-24 16:43:24 · answer #3 · answered by hannahs3092000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you talk to her, she will have hatred toward you thinking "omfg. what is this ***** trying to do? she's not my mother. etc." i mean, really. if you really think about it, wouldn't that be her response? and as you know, 15 and 26 is against the law. and considering he's married, that's bizzare. so first off, if he loves your friend, stephanie, he would first divorce with his wife and wait for her until stephanie's legal. if he doesn't then we know that this really isn't love. the cops are the last people you want to talk to. because if you notify the cops, they will go to court and it will be a burden on her family, you and her boyfriend's family. the school counselor is a no go. the counselor doesn't have any contract or any written agreement about privacy. so even if you tell them, they can notify the police themselves and under law, it's totally legal. also, if you talk to your friends about it, RUMORS.
here's what i would do:
fully inform you're parents as much as you can. make the understand this situation. then, i would have your family and her family(without stephanie present) just sit down (if they don't force them to. it's their child's life. they may not show it but they will care) and talk it over. get their side of the story and tell them you're side of the story. you'll be surprised at how different these stories can really be. also, this way, you will understand each other and her family may realize how stephanie is really feeling. they will care after this heart to heart talk. then, tell them to have a talk with stephanie and see if the problem resolves. if it doesn't notify the police. this situation is legally and morally wrong. it's not fair to you're friend's guy's wife (who doesn't know what the hell is going on) and it's not fair to you and your family (who is worrying for another family's daughter). in the end, maybe 80 years later, she'll understand that this was all for her. and you have to realize which ever direction you go to: just leaving the situation as is or doing what i told you to do, stephanie will have a bad reaction. i suggest you do what i suggested and hope for the best. trust me. doing something is always better than doing nothing.
also, the way i see it, stephanie has not been much of a friend to you. making a friend worry day and night, running off with another guy and not listening to you? not a friendly thing to do.
2007-11-24 14:11:25 · answer #4 · answered by yejin 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Don't worry about her getting mad at you. You need to help her. Can you talk to her. Ask her what is going on and how she knows this man. Ask her flat out if they are having sex. I don't know where you live but I don't think if the age of consent is 15 anywhere. If her mom does not care I would talk to your mom about what to do. If she does not help find help at school. From the counselor or a teacher. They will know what to do and will help you. She will talk to you again. Tell her that you were worried for her safety and that was more important to you than her being mad at you. Good luck.
2007-11-24 13:47:27 · answer #5 · answered by kim h 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, if her mom doesn't seem to care, there is probably nothing you can do - other than to try to talk to her & convince her of the huge mistake she is making. On one hand, it is (remotely) possible that this 26 year old married man has altruistic intentions and that she is better off leaving the horible situation at home to live with him - but it's more likely that he's taking advantage of her & she is ruining her life by getting involved with a married man. You should talk to your parents about this - they will be in a much better place to give you advice & maybe help your friend.
2007-11-24 12:53:55 · answer #6 · answered by Eric K 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your parents about it or the counselors at school. 15 is way too young to be with a 26 year old man. You can ask that your name be withheld from any conversations anyone may have with her about the situation. She may figure out it was you and be upset with you for awhile but eventually she will figure out (hopefully) that what you did is in her best interest. Good luck!
2007-11-24 12:52:28 · answer #7 · answered by amber m 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you know he is not a relative or a family friend and her mom doesn't care tell someone else. Keep telling people till you find someone who'll listen.You can go to a school counselor or teacher or your mom or priest/minister or anther trusted adult or go straight to the cops. Please!!! I know you don't want her to be mad at you but I heard this saying on a radio show and i think it fits " a mad friend is a better friend than a dead friend', don't you think. Please get her help we don't want her to get hurt and a 26 year old guy will usually hurt a 15 year old girl. Please get her help somehow.
PS
I'm assuming she is changing in a bad way.
go tell someone.
2007-11-24 13:37:49 · answer #8 · answered by mickeyswim 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definitely call the cops. She is not of legal age and this guy could ruin her permanently. The situation she is in is not good because the guy is married and she is very vulnerable to a lot of bad things living with this creep. Things she is very naive about at that age.
2007-11-24 12:56:11 · answer #9 · answered by BT 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to her about it but if anything seems of fyou really should talk to an adult. It is not healthy for a random guy his age to invite in a teen girl. If he is not a family friend there is no reason for him to be involved.
Is she changing for hte better? such as doing her school work not out partying but still connected to her friends and sociable? or is she withdrawn and touchy/jumpy, does she seem odd for the worse to you? If she does than it is something to talk about with an adult you trust who can also help her out, suh as a teacher who knows you both. They will keep what you said confidential if you ask. I would rather lose the friendship than have something horriable happen to her.
2007-11-24 12:54:11 · answer #10 · answered by becky q 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Call 911.... let them decide what to do.
Everything might be just fine. Or it might not be, but you don't need to be the one to make the decision. Call the cops, they will check it all out, and you can feel relieved that if Stephanie never talks to you again its because she is mad, not because she is dead.
2007-11-24 13:15:26 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋