just help please?

Question

i have a 3 week and 4 day old daughter her name is emily by the way.Anyways ima single mom and my mom helps alot at night because my 17 month old daughter madison still gets up to. But with all my kids i let them fall asleep in my arms and put them in bed my mom puts her in bed awake and lets her fall asleep in the bassinet when she has her at night. what do you think of people and my mother doing this just laying in bed well their awake and letting them fall asleep. my mom said its nothing wrong with it but i feel really bad walking by and shes looking all over plus she has a cold so i feel even worse but all togehter do you thin its right i justlove holding them till they are asleep. no rude comments please. P.s plus she can hear the tv shes probbaly wondering whats going on

mother of ashley age 6 and a hlf yrs old, madison 17 months and baby emily 3 weeks and 4 days

to waange,
my mom dont let her scream and puke just if shes quite and looking around she leaves her to fall asleep im not saying shes a bad granmother i just love holding her

Answer 1

you have your ways of parenting and your mom has hers unfortunately you can't really complain to her when she is watching. It is fine to let your baby go to bed awake, as long as they aren't fussing it should be just fine

Answer 2

I put my 4 month old son down when hes awake - after his last bottle and burp, and i can tell when hes getting sleepy and is ready for bed anyways. Its a good habbit to get into i think, particularly to prepare them for when they get older. Dont feel bad when you walk by and see them awake though!! Feel sure that they will let you know if they dont like it!! But again, it is a personal choice - my partner and i co-slept with bub for the first 2 months, which alot of people say not to do, but just go with your own instinct! I will put bub asleep in my arms sometimes during the day, cos it is nice to have them sunggle into you and i just love being so close to him and looking at him! But yeah, its a personal choice, whatever feels comfortable for you - and of course, whatever works! Good Luck! !
Someone mentioned ferberizing or something - i always go attend to bub when i put him down if he cries, i would never just leave him cry himself to sleep - but as you said, your mum doesnt do that anyway - i think thats a bit cruel!

Answer 3

Some people are telling you to Ferberize because it aligns with their parenting style. Parenting, and the choices that go with it are a personal choice. I've never Ferberized any of my kids, but they are all perfectly well adjusted and doing well. I have friends that firmly believe in ferberizing and their kids are just fine too. The kids that aren't fine are the kids whose parents don't give a cr@p about them, don't make decisions with any forethought, and emotionally abandon them. If you choose to cosleep or snuggle your babies to sleep, it is perfectly ok. Don't feel threatened by others that make a different choice. Your mom has a different method that seems to work well for her. Your method works well for you. When she's with you, do what you do best and be comforted that she's content, safe and loved when you aren't there. You're a good mommy. Best wishes.

Exactly what about this comment deserves a thumbs down? I haven't criticised ANYONE. I'm just trying to be supportive of another mother's decision. Isn't that what we're here for?

Answer 4

If she's quiet and not fussing when your mom lays her down - nothing wrong with that. But, I'm with you . I loved holding my babies till they fell asleep. They are babies for such a short time.
Sounds like you're both good moms!

Answer 5

It could go either way, some of my friends put their kids to bed awake and the kids ended up screaming til they would fall asleep after throwing up- but i held my daughter until she fell asleep then spent the longest time trying to get her to go to sleep on her own- so i guess it would be your descision. it could be good for your kids to have you do it your way and her do it her way so they can be put to bed both ways--- might make them well rounded.

Answer 6

I think it's wonderful That a child will go to sleep on their own in the bed. And you'll REALLY appreciate it when they're older. You can still love on them and keep your routine, just put them in the bed awake.

Answer 7

actually, it's reccomended to lay babies down drowsy but not asleepa nd they fall asleep on their own- as long as shes not crying it's ok. but if you love holding her while she sleeps then do that. my son is 7 1/2 months and still sleeps with me because it what i prefer. i really dont care what others say beause i doubt they have done the actual research and i have

Answer 8

love them up!!!i held my boys all day and night and they are very healthy and independent