so ive been dating this guy for about 8months and he has driven me to the point where i no longer hang with my girl friends and let alone even know any guys, so i cant go to clubs and when i do we break matter infact we break up every other day when things dont go his way- well it only last for a few hours and then we are back in love again like nothing happened!!!! this is my first relationship is this normal or not?? should love be this hard and is there a way i can have him change and just give me a healthy relations i love him soooooo much !!!
2007-11-24 12:06:19 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ok he met me at a club dancing, smoking, and drinking and full of friends, yet 8months i cant remember the last time i had a drink, smoke, or even hung out with friends, people tell imma end up alone when he leave me yet others tell me i will still end up alone when my leave me when they have thier own boyfriends im so confused!!! either give up my habits or loose the guy i love or am i just covering up for him being controlling???
2007-11-24 12:26:24 · update #1
ok thankx for your help im 23 years old and he is 25yrs old and he has been through alot cheating, lies, the stories he tells are horrible but i feel as if im paying for all the bad things his exgirlfriends did to him- i feel sorry for him and iam very open minded to helping him realize i dont want to hurt him but is it worth it? can i help him by just sticking around and slowly showing that everything is going to be ok with us?
2007-11-24 12:38:08 · update #2
No, not normal! Sounds like a control freak! And a big fat immature baby! Dump him quick!!!
Good luck!
ymmf
2007-11-24 12:13:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would break it off completely with him. This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship at all. I have been in this boat, it lasted 3 years and was the hardest relationship I ever had to go through. It's not worth it. You will find that person that will never be jelouse of you, find you attractive no matter what, will have fun with you by just being with you, and will say I love you and mean it!
Kick him to the curb, he's not worth it and you are much better than that.
Hoe's before Bro's lady! Remember that. You can do it, no matter how much it might hurt and you "think" your in love. The longer this goes on, the harder it will be to end it.
2007-11-24 20:13:32 · answer #2 · answered by mylittlebarnyard 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Forget the love here. Jealousy really has no place in any relationship but does exist. His jealousy will destroy you two sooner or later here as you cant survive under his idiotic ideas, you have to have your own life for this relationship to survive. This falls under him controlling you and unless youre a robot, it just wont work. So time has come to cut your losses and move on to someone who will let you be you with your own life. Happy holidays and good luck
2007-11-24 20:19:23 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not normal or healthy however there are a lot of people who like drama. I myself hate it and me and my guy get along and hardly ever have a conflict. So I guess you need to decide how you want your relationship to be, it is your choice you know? You choose a partner you like and love and respect. What is it that you love about him? Remember jelousy is not a sign of love it is insecurity in that person. We all have some but control it not others.
2007-11-24 20:17:47 · answer #4 · answered by openminded 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have a very jealous boyfriend too. So what I'm not aloud to do he isn't either. I love my boyfriend very much but whats good for the goose is good for the gander. Are you jealous with him too? If you're getting a bad feeling about this relationship then its time for you to move on. If not then stay in it. Follow your gut. If he's abusive I would really think about breaking it up before you decide to move in with him.
You shouldn't stop talking to your girlfriends, you need someone to talk to other then him!
2007-11-24 20:28:07 · answer #5 · answered by irishpr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he likes you, then he should like you as you are - not try to control and change you. Get out now. This is a power struggle, you need to ask what is lacking in him that he needs to control others and not to trust. If your relationship gets more serious, it will only get worse. Ask any of the people who look after women in shelters.
2007-11-24 20:20:41 · answer #6 · answered by bluebell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not, NOT normal. This is the start of an abusive relationship -- isolating you from your friends is not a good way to start out a relationship. The whole "everything's wonderful" aspect is part of the abuse cycle too. RUN, don't walk away from this guy.
2007-11-24 20:18:37 · answer #7 · answered by rcpeabody1 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You must be very young.
The answer is NO, this is NOT a normal relationship.
You are living in an emotional roller coaster, and sooner or later you will get sick of all the drama. Love is kind and peaceful, not a constant battle.
2007-11-24 20:15:07 · answer #8 · answered by Nena S 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
no this is not normal GET OUT AND STAY OUT AND I WILL TELL YOU Y, he is starting out like a classic abuser, and the first thing they do is isolate their women and later the children, so they cant report the abuse going on in the home, how many women or girls have to be injured or killed by men like this before we all come to our senses to realize that this behavior is not love IT IS CONTROL, this is the type of man that wont let his wife work, attend school, and eventually she is trapped in her house as she and her children are terriozed by the husband, he is so afraid of losing control, and someone else taking notice that women have been boarded up in their homes with no car, no phone ect. so her husband can control them, it starts with jealously, so far u cant know any guys and he is even controlling the females u see, do u see where i am going with this and u continueing to go back with him just reinforces his bad behavior, i dont know how old u are but MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT YOU ARE IN DANGER, HE HAS AN ANGER PROBLEM TO DOSENT HE, wonder how i know that, he is not unique, u need other people to help u, but no one will be able to help u unless u decide not to go back with him, we had a teenage girl shot and almost killed in front of her mother in midland mich, up at the high school in just this situation, she broke up with him and he went to school and after he killed himself, u need help to stay safe, your parents, friends and first and formost the police and courts, and i will bet if u were honest with yourself there he has already been pushing and shoving u around if not hitting u, please stop before this becomes deadly, and NO U CANNOT HELP HIM OR FIX HIM HE NEEDS PROFESSIONAL HELP AND U ARE NOT QUALIFIED, AND I AM NOT BLOWING THIS OUT OF PROPORTIAN, THEY ALL START OUT LIKE THIS, just like the man i married did, get out and get out now
2007-11-24 20:29:25 · answer #9 · answered by Dale T 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no its not normal to be doing that.. if hes cutting you off from friends and then it will be family then you will be all alone and at his mercy. do let that happen to you.. tell him his jealousy is going to ruin your relationship and it has to stop now.do not be sucked into that and then cant get out.. if your fighting all the time should tell you somethings wrong right there..for sure do not marry this man. good luck
2007-11-24 20:20:42 · answer #10 · answered by Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋