We got engaged over a year ago. NO wedding plans because of the way he has been acting. Anyhow, he went from putting effort into making his house look good for us right before he proposed n then after proposed hebegan fixing his male friends kitchen for free for months to point I hardly saw him(thought he was gay it was so bad). Then, he bought an investment prop next door n is renting it out to a family he knows. All of a sudden, he spends all his time there n eats dinner there n doesn't ask what I am doing or invite me to eat or seem to care. (They like to drink n party alot n lately all he cares about too!). He hasn't paid any bills in a few months bc why? I don't know - he has the money, yet he put a real heater in the garage next door so they can all hang out in it n costs $60 a pop for propane??? Why isn't he paying bills n hanging out partying n eating w family next door and basically feels as if he abandoned me and his house? Is he mentally ill? What is going on?
2007-11-24 11:48:42 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Re-read what you wrote. This is plenty of information to alert you that this isn't the guy for you or anyone that wants a real relationship and family. Give him back his ring and move on. You can't make this better. He's got other things going on and he isn't interested in a real life only his. This is not someone you want to tie your wagon to.
2007-11-24 12:01:25 · answer #1 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its good that you have no plans to get married because he's obviously not ready. When he wants to spend all his time with friends so he can drink and party, that he doesn't meet his obligations as far as the bills go, and ignores his fiance to the point that she feels abandoned, and doesn't even know for sure that he's not mentally ill, then he's just not ready. He puts his friends before you, and doesn't care how that makes you feel.
Its up to you now to decide if you want to wait until he is, or move on.
2007-11-24 12:05:42 · answer #2 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I asure you he has,nt gone insane, he is only being the person that he really is, you are now seeing what you are about to spend the rest of your life with, he has gotton lets say comfortable in the relationship and acts as if he,s got you wrapped around his finger, so theirs no more big need to impress you, he won the prize so now he is just being himself, so what do you think? Is this how and who you want to be with forever? If not, ya had best start thinking about ways to get out, because this is a mirrored image of what is yet to come. Take it from me, I didnt see all the red flags waving around, and now Im with a guy who drinks like a fish and spends most of his time in a bar room with his friends, dont make the same errors that I did, I saw it, but went thru with it anyway. good luck
2016-05-25 06:14:55 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u know how a teens behavior changes when they get involved with drugs, grades change, hang out with the wrong crowd, partieing, it sounds like that is the problem he is having he is just a different age, do a hair follicle test on him and they can tell what how much and when he has been using, hair grows about 1/2 inch a month and they can go the whole length of the hairs to find these things out far more reliable than a urine test, talk to your local lab and find out how much hair needs to be sampled, or u could find out over the net and also what company does this, but dont even discuss marriage with this man until he straightens out cause something is going on , i believe they also sell drug tests at the drug store and walmart but those are urine tests, and if he is on drugs dont believe anything he says as that is the drugs talking, your best bet is to RUN DONT WALK AWAY FROM HIM BEFORE THIS JERK RUINS YOUR LIFE
2007-11-24 12:06:21 · answer #4 · answered by Dale T 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My fiance has been acting the same way. He checked out of the relationship, emotionally and physically about 3 months ago. Last night he asked me for my 5 carat engagement ring back and asked me to move out of his home. I guess I was not too surprised because of his actions leading up to this conversation.
You need to sit down and talk to him and he needs to start acting responsibly or you need to leave. Imagine being married to the guy who hangs out drinking in the garage all night - you deserve better. good luck.
2007-11-24 12:53:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he got engaged to you when he really had no intentions of ever getting really married here. Youre right in that he probably abandoned you to avoid you and hoping youll just fade into the sunset as hes not man enough to tell you. You really do deserve better so its time tolet him do his house work while you move on and find someone wholl pay attention to you. Move on and good luck. Sorry,wish I had a better answer for you but I think you already knew this.
2007-11-24 11:57:10 · answer #6 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There was an earlier post of a woman who found out after she was married that he was interested in just about everything except hanging with her. You need to address this with him before moving down the marriage path. He is lacking in a fundamental understanding of 1) what it means to be in a marriage partnership and 2) what your needs are.
2007-11-24 12:03:36 · answer #7 · answered by George 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mentally ill no... and a s s hole.. yes. You need to seriously sit him down and talk to him about it. Tell him how he's been acting is totally unacceptable, make sure you include the fact that you will leave if things don't change.. and actually mean it. You don't deserve that. You can do better. Give him one chance.. and one chance alone.
2007-11-24 11:54:02 · answer #8 · answered by cresentrosetat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen, I'm a bloke so I'll tell you what he's doing. He's doing exactly what I did, and every bloke does, when they don't think they can commit to a woman, he is going to his "cave" and he doesn't want to tell ya that he can't see a future with you. Luckily you haven't got kids, you aren't married, so find someone else who'll give you the commitment and love. Best of luck!
2007-11-24 12:05:48 · answer #9 · answered by princekeyuk 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actions speak louder than words, honey.
He's saying- without words- that he's not happy with you...but he doesn't have the balls to say it in your face. So he's acting this way so YOU will be the one to leave.
Sorry---but thank goodness you didn't marry him !!!
You sound like a nice girl, so give him the ring back when you have packed everything and are ready to go. Good luck.
2007-11-24 11:57:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋