A young Scotsman called Hamish wanted to buy a Christmas present..............?

Question

A young Scotsman called Hamish wanted to buy a Christmas
present for his new girlfriend. They hadn't been
seeing each other for very long and she lived a
considerable distance away.

He consulted with his sister and decided after careful
consideration, that a pair of good quality gloves
would strike the right note, not too romantic
and not too personal.

Off he went with his sister to Jenners ladies dept and
they selected a dainty pair of fur lined quality
leather gloves. His sister bought a pair of knickers
for herself at the same time.

Jenners had a free gift wrap offer but the assistant
mixed up the two items, the sister got the gloves and
Hamish got the knickers.

Good old Hamish sent off his gift wrapped present in a
parcel with the following letter:

Dear Morag, I chose these because I've noticed that you
are not wearing any when we go out in the evenings. If
it had not been for my sister I would have chosen the
long ones with buttons, but she wears shorter ones
(which are easie

(which are easier to remove).

These are a very delicate shade, but the lady I bought
them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for
the past three weeks and they were hardly
soiled at all.

I had her try yours on for me and she looked really
smart in them even though they were a little bit tight
on her. She also said that they rub against her ring
which helps keep it clean. In fact she hasn't needed
to wash it since she began wearing them.

I wish I was there to put them on for you the first
time, as no doubt many other hands will touch them
before I have a chance to see you again.

When you take them off remember to blow into them a
little bit because they will be naturally a little
damp from wearing.

Just imagine how many times my lips will kiss them
during the coming year.

I hope you will wear them for me on our next date.

All my love

Hamish.

P.S. My mum tells me that the latest style is to wear
them folded down with a little bit of fur showing.

Answer 1

Loved it so funny, I will tell this the next time I go to see my pensioner friends.

Answer 2

Excellent.

Answer 3

Lmao at this one. you must be from Edinburgh to mention Jenners lol . everyone must have enjoyed it as no-one told you you were in the wrong site lol
thanks for the laugh after what has been a really naff day.

Answer 4

Made me laugh but surely its in the wrong section !! Why has current events suddenly turned into the Joke station??

Answer 5

you are awful............

but so patient - a lot of effort with the typing so it will be rewarded with a star xx

Answer 6

Good one, made me laff!

Answer 7

OOOps

Answer 8

good one

Answer 9

I'm speechless...

Answer 10

you betcha