we are filing dissolution. both of us want to be custodial parent. How do i win this without going to court?

Question

I have been the custodial parent since my boys were born. He wants to have joint custodial parenting. I don't think he is priveledged to be nor deserve to be, he has never taken full responsibility of the boys, and my oldest is 13 yrs old. How do we resolve this without going to court where it can become expensive?

Answer 1

you can sign separation papers but the lawyers will still go to court on your behalf..

Answer 2

With children involved the courts will be automatically involved in this mostly due to the best interest of the children is covered. The best and least expensive thing you can do is to work this out outside of the court, sign and witnessed and get notorized and present it to the courts for approval. The agreement must spell out everything especially where it covers the children; primary residential custodian parent, visiting parent, child support, visitation times, etc. This is not always the most easiest thing to do and will lead alot of times to some really good fights, but is the best way wthout involving the courts. Get at least a Paralegal to monitor and transcribe the proceedings and be ready and willing to compromise to get what you want in the end. The biggest thing with children is that the corts will award custody to the mother unless she is ruled unfit via child or drug/mental abuse charges. Your pesonal feelings about dad will not hold up in court by the way, you need solid evidence supporting any accusations you make against him. Good luck

Answer 3

If he is willing...why not give it a try on a trial basis. Sure he never did all that he could and should have in the past BUT he is there now and willing to try. Also, he never had to worry about you not being there to make sure all was done as it should be, you guys are divorcing soon and perhaps he is seeing the errors of his ways and wanting to do better. You guys should talk about it some more AND ask for your sons input as he is 13 and SHOULD have a say in what he would like to see happen.

Answer 4

Think of your kids and share the parenting time with him equally. You may not think he can handle it, but at one time you were new to being a parent as well. You survived.... so will he. Not to mention you have boys... and at 13 your son is reaching the age when he needs to be with his dad more and more. Your other son will be the same.

So instead of fighting him on it.... work with him, share your kids, help him if he needs it... and step back and watch your boys thrive.

Also keep in mind... YOU PICKED THEIR DAD and YOU DIDN'T MAKE THOSE BOYS ON YOUR OWN.

Answer 5

Did you ever try family court? Call the probation dept and they will put you in touch with a family lawyer. My daughter only had to pay $35 to file.

Answer 6

You will have to get a mediator to solve this since you cannot come to an agreement yourselves.