family issues very serious help????

Question

hi

i have been married for 5 years and my wife keeps fighting with me no reason what so ever. my wifes brother moved in with us so he might make her feel better but he is 13 and i am 25 he keeps being rude and swearing at me i told my wife and she just tells him off slighty then does not bother but when tell him off she takes his side and starts fightning with me. he only moved in 4 months ago. problems were from start. now she wont tell him to go back to his parents house and i have complained to his parents but they don,t bother either. i am very stuck as i love my wife. but she loves me only when she needs something or if i help her family financely then she is sometimes happy. i am really sick of this marriage life. i feel like i am caged in no air. all you guys and girls please tell me what i should do? should i keep or divorce her? asap help plz plz i am really upset. i am a person who minds his own business but still worlds so cruel to me!!!

Answer 1

Its not nice to feel that your wife only loves you when you give her something....thats not love. Sound to me like she is using you. She argues with you all the time, she sides with her brother over you. She doesnt listen to your grievances. She knows the brother being there is causing conflict, but she refuses to do anything about it. Her loyalties apparently dont lie with you. She doesnt seem to care about your feelings at all. It seems like its a one-way relationship.....all her way. Maybe its time you brought all these issues up with your wife and tell her that unless she shows a bit more loyalty and love then you are finished. You dont need this. You need to be loved and considered all the time, not just when your wife wants something from you. Talk to your wife....state your case and see what her response is. If she doesnt care, if she doesnt want to change her ways, then maybe she is not the wife for you.

Answer 2

Have you ever spoken about the issues she had before her brother moved in with you both?

I can not see how the brother will make any improvements within his sister's life, he needs to be at home with his parents and I would suggest you address this fact. Its only then, when he is back where he should be, that your wife and yourself can work at getting your relationship back on track.

There seems to be a lot going on with your wife - low self esteem - I get the impression from what you have written she doesn't know what actually makes her happy - even though she is giving the impression she is at certain times.

I think you both need to go see a counsellor and work through this - it could be a very long process but you need to show your wife that you take her seriously and that you want to be there for her and to give her the support she obviously needs.

You need to talk with her.

Answer 3

Your brother in law is not the problem here,he ma be compounding it but is not he problem. Unfortunately this is a classic problem of two people who marry at a young age, before they are truly ready but they think they are so they do and after a couple of years trouble begins. Most of the problems stem from that when you married you two should have actually been enjoying life and learning lifes experiences that would have actually helped you thru the marital challenges you face today. Marriage counseling can helpyou two thru this but only if you both agree to it and really want to save the marriage. If not then unfortunately the inevitable is here, to stay or end it. This is not as big a problem as it seems but will need professional help to overcome it. Have a heart to heart talk with her and see what you both want and go from there,but this marriage can be saved with a little effort. Good luck

Answer 4

Well, in every relationship, communication is what is needed, you have to talk to her, make her understand what its doing to you, don't just tell her in a nice way, let her know you're serious. Her 13 year old brother, you tell him to either respect you, or get out, that will get him thinking. Also talk to your wife, tell her that the relationship isn't working out. If she keeps on fighting with you, then best bet is out. No point in staying in an unhappy relationship. Good luck.

Answer 5

Have you tried talking to the brother? what happen to you when you are ticked? Maybe you should become friends and to get to know each other a little bit better....did you say he is 13? that's pretty young. He is a teenager these days. Maybe he has problems of his own and doesn't know how to deal with them. I would suggest go to a couselor or talk to your wife about this. Good luck!

Answer 6

She sounds very selfish. I feel for you. I would tell her if she truly loves you she needs to tell her brother to move out so you can work on your marriage. If he doesn't move out you need to. If you love someone you will make things work out.
Some times when you separate a person misses you so much they will come to there senses or realize its really over. Hoped this helped.

Answer 7

guy, do i believe so sorry for you. at the beginning you ought to have somewhat checked those issues out till now to procure married to her, yet inspite of that reality, now you're jointly and you have important themes along with her. It only approximately sounds to me like she has OCD, that's obsessive compulsive sickness. that's a sickness which many human beings get. She desires some severe psychiatric counselling for her problem. the concern is unquestionably no longer you. you ought to be waiting to ascertain your individuals and so on and so on. She ought to in all probability have administration themes the place she is making an attempt to regulate you and each little thing round her. retaining the toddler hostage in regard to no longer sharing the baby is unquestionably incorrect of her. She desires to advance up and be an person and end attempting to regulate her kin and your loved ones. your loved ones merits to ascertain this baby and carry the toddler. For her to disclaim them of exhibiting their love for the toddler is carefully unacceptable. Get her some help quickly. have you ever seen conversing to a clergyman or minister approximately this problem alongside with your spouse? the 1st element she will have the potential to ought to do is ADMIT that she has a difficulty and then she would be ready to get the help she desires. Please, get her some counselling till now issues worsen for you. sturdy success along with her.

Answer 8

Get rid of both of them! Your wife does not love you or even show the most basic consideration. Life is too short to live the way you're living now, and with TWO of them???? Ei yi yi.

Answer 9

Talk to her first, if she don't budge, give her an ultimatum, if she still don't budge, then mention divorce. If you are not happy, then maybe that is your best bet. She should not let her family break up your marriage, but if so, let it be. I know in a marriage, your spouse comes before anyone else in your family.

Answer 10

Talk to her and be firm... it's your house too and you should be able to take decision and BE RESPECTED in you own house... make her brother go to his parent house tell her that she cannot treat you nice just when she wants something from you... maybe counseling would work for you.