My boyfriend and I have been dating now for 4 months. He's married and has three kids, all over the age of 12. His wife is NOT the mother of his children. He has only been married to her for almost a year. His two oldest kids know about us and have met me. His son calls me, emails me, and begs to come visit me.
A month ago, he told me that he was going to ask his wife for a seperation. Now, he says that he doesn't want to leave his wife right now, because his 12 yr old is attached to her. He says I need to have patience and it will happen. He says he only married his wife because the kids liked her and he felt that they needed a mother figure.
Now, his two oldest kids are asking him not to change anything at home.
Him and I work at the same place, 2 hours from his hometown. He basically lives with me and only goes home four days a month, since he works so much overtime.
Am I fooling myself, or do I just need to have patience?
BTW, no need to call me a slut.
2007-11-24 09:37:59 · 20 answers · asked by urluvissuicide 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
your wasting your time that u should be seeking your forever mate on a man who already has a wife and home. he has the best of both worlds, while u suffer. but think about it, he is cheating on u, as well as her. do u think once u become the Mrs. that there won't be someone just like yourself waiting in the wings, sneaking about, planning and plotting to leave u? u are indeed fooling yourself. not to mention when u hurt someone meaning his wife, it always comes back. have a little self worth and don't believe all of his lies. he has a home to go to, a woman taking care of his children, and another woman waiting patiently for him to leave the woman he use to love. how long will it take for him to find your replacement?
2007-11-24 09:47:27 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow... what are you really waiting for from this man? He is MARRIED, has children from a PREVIOUS relationship and now has you? He tells you that he has no interest in his wife because his kids liked her and thought she was a good mom to his kids? I wonder..hum.. when the two of you get married, will he tell his g/f the same thing? Listen hun, you are dating a manipulator. You're asking if you are fooling yourself.. that is the understatement of the year. You're wasting you're time, and love on an idiot, a manipulator and a cheater for crying out loud. Have some integrity for yourself for Pete's Sake. Don't you care about YOU? Wake the &%*^ up!!
2007-11-24 09:47:46 · answer #2 · answered by Erin 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
okay, i wanna handle this in the most peaceful manner, but i really do not approve of what you are doing. I would really say that you are a home wrecker. Why not find somebody else to have a relationship too, i mean consider the kids. Always think about the kids. what would happen if you became their mom? would they appreciate you or would they just have a hard time. and no, you are not wasting your time, indeed just be patient for the rest of your life so as not to break the family :D
2007-11-24 10:00:56 · answer #3 · answered by bigred123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will not call you names, you don't need to hear them. But you aren't being wise. The fact that he was with his wife for less than a year before cheating with you, shows he is not the type of man to be faithful. Whatever his excuses, you are being used. He is not being good to you, or honest with his wife. He has dragged the children into the middle of all this mess. Does this really sound like the kind of man you would choose to be your life partner? Don't you deserve more?
Look into your heart. Would you like to be the wife in this case? Would you like someone to treat your children this way? Because if you do get together, it may repeat this pattern. Please take care of yourself.
2007-11-24 10:05:33 · answer #4 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are wasting your time. He has no intention on leaving his wife especially if he feels like they need a mother figure (he dont see you fitting that bill?) Not to mention, he is cheating on his wife with you and karma will bring it back on you. (meaning you wont be able to trust he wont cheat on you) He is having his cake and eating it too. He "lives" with you and still has his wife at home fulfilling his needs to take care of his children. You need to step out the picture and see what happens. If he really cares for you and want to be with you he will begin to make changes in his life to make it possible. If he doesnt really feel that way you will see that he has mysteriously mended ways with his wife, or replaced you with another women willing to play 2nd fiddle.
2007-11-24 09:58:17 · answer #5 · answered by philly_q_t_2004 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If, a year from now, you want to go through what this man's wife is going through right now, then stay in this situation.
He's obviously brought numerous women into this situation. Do you see a pattern? Do you want to be in this pattern? This will be the life style. Don't let yourself have children with this man. Your life will become strangely more complex and not in a good way.
2007-11-24 09:58:40 · answer #6 · answered by ∞ sky3000 ∞ 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
See, woman like you ain't S***! I hope his wife finds out who you are and I hope you live in state where you can suit the mistress for damages! And for ya'll to put the kids in the middle of this mess?!! You both poor excuses for adults.
2007-11-24 09:54:32 · answer #7 · answered by leahcane 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
ask your self i u can handle the situation of raising his kids and all the problems that are gonna come with the package, if i were u i wouldnt give him a second thought
2007-11-25 09:31:30 · answer #8 · answered by meyo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you are sooo classy.
You are fooling yourself, just like ALL other women. He is using you as a cheap alternative to a motel.
2007-11-24 09:55:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't sound appealing at all. I mean how much baggage can one person have? Run for your life! I gaurantee you or he is mistaking good sex for love. And if the sex isn't even that good - that' just one more reason to cut and run.
2007-11-24 09:52:05 · answer #10 · answered by Norma S 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋