I found out that my husband is still seeing his mistress. He has been going to her house during his lunch breaks and sneaking off to her house after work some nights.
He had an affair for 2 1/2 years and they lived together for 1. He begged to come home and finally did. So why can't he just let go of the mistress? He acts like everything is okay when he is at home, but he is still seeing her. I just don't understand. I think he is just sad and misses her, but I think he will stop seeing her. I want to be with him.
2007-11-24 08:40:45 · 48 answers · asked by blue eyes 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do you really want to know why your Husband does what he does to you? It's a simple answer really. It's because YOU LET HIM. Wake up call.. he is probably never going to leave her alone. He more than likely is in love with her. And, if he seems sad around you it's more than likely because he would rather be with her. Reality check, what you have with your Husband is not love. Atleast on his part. Because, when you are in love with someone you don't cheat on them or do things that could cause the two of you distress. Get some self esteem about yourself and let that fool go. But, if you are that desperate to keep a man that you would allow him to do all that he's doing..by all means stay with your Husband. I'm sure there are a million guys out there though that would LOVE to have a passive wife like you.. One to just sit at home and allow them to have a piece on the side. Tsk tsk tsk.. please wake up.
2007-11-24 08:52:49 · answer #1 · answered by Christine 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi Blue Eyes
Not knowing the situation, some guys just need 'More'. These are the guys that you see in the clubs on a Friday night flirting with the waitresses and sometimes more. He can't let go of his mistress as he feels free when he is with her. Free to open up his life, his problems, his side of the situation. He will not stop seeing her until she decides he needs to get rid of you and then marry her, or he decides to grow up and decide what he wants out of life. It has to be a caring wife but if he knows you won't divorce him then he knows he can continue to do what he wants and you are going to be there for him when he does come home. I say dump him and move on with your life. The question remains; What is it that you want? If you want him to stop seeing her then you have to tell him in no uncertain words, it is her or me! You make the decision and live by the results! See what he does next. I wish you all the best of luck. It will not be easy and it will not be done over night. You can chat with me anytime.
2007-11-24 08:52:53 · answer #2 · answered by THing4CSA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you even putting yourself through this? He is playing games because you are not doing anything about it. You took him back after 2 1/2 years of cheating and he left to live with her for one. Then he begs to come home and you let him!!!! That is why! You really need to leave him and move on. Find a real man that will want to be with you and only you.
2007-11-24 08:47:53 · answer #3 · answered by Tiffany H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Blue eyes, I hate to break it to you but he is still having an affair. He strikes me as the type of man that will play both ends to the middle. After all, you and his mistress are sort of embracing this behavior. I am willing to bet that when things aren't going so well at the mistress', he asks to come home, and when things get hairy at home, he runs back to the mistress.
He continues to play games because you are enabling him to. As long as you and his girlfriend allow this he will continue. You have no one to blame but yourself.
2007-11-24 08:47:42 · answer #4 · answered by sleepingliv 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nobody deserves that treatment you need to toughen up get your finances in order and plan your fantastic wonderful life without that hassle of being in a cheaters game,your worth more no more chances you did that and now he is treating you with so much disrespect marriage is not about that some things in life you have to let go to open up a brand new phase be Strong good luck angel
2007-11-24 09:07:49 · answer #5 · answered by RAINBOW 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him to the curb. He is using the both of you, and has no intention of giving up either. He will continue to do this as long as you let him.
You may want to be with him, but it will be on his terms - half a life. He will expect you to be there for him 100% while he is offering you far less. If that's all you think you are worth, then so be it. That is one choice. But if you know yourself to be worth more, then leave him.
Only you can decide. I just hope that you become strong enough to do what's right for you. Take care.
2007-11-24 08:51:53 · answer #6 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two can play that game. Why not go out, and find yourself someone else. My husband is always talking on the computer to different girls, and goes out to meet with them sometimes, and I would sit at home crying about it until now. Now I am doing my own thing, and he is the one at home wondering what the hell just happened. Why should he have all the fun. Girl get out there, and find yourself a man that will make you feel like a million bucks, and when you get home act like nothing is happening. You will start to feel much better. He's getting his, it's time for you to get yours.
2007-11-24 08:51:24 · answer #7 · answered by Sweet 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your husband is playing games because you are letting him. It is just that straight forward. He will only do as much as you allow him too. He is there because he knows that you will let him. If you don't have kids, first get some self worth! You have to feel that you should have better in your life. Get a makeover and do your own thing. He is jack*** and you don't need someone like that in your life!
2007-11-24 08:50:47 · answer #8 · answered by shay231214 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you and the mistress accepted him back he's going to bounce between the two of you as long as he can. Get some self respect about yourself, get your money right and divorce his sorry a**!
2007-11-24 08:51:10 · answer #9 · answered by leahcane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget it. I got back with my husband after an affair with home wrecker. We got together and one night I found his phone hidden stating he didn't know what their future will be. I woke him up at 2:00 in the morning and made him leave immediately. Once a cheater always a cheater. I loved my husband with all my heart just like you do but my happiness is my main priority in my life not his. Why risk your health like that?
2007-11-24 08:45:18 · answer #10 · answered by Luv2no is in the house 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋