i'm writing a novel and have writers block. please help me carry on the story?

Question

Luther stayed hidden in the brush of the forest, barely daring to breath through fear of scaring off tonight’s meal. He laid in wait his arrow knocked and ready. He was tucked away from any possible danger, his jacket blended perfectly with the forest; his piercing blue-green eyes scanned the forest floor with the distinct precision of an expert huntsman. The silence was broken as a mother deer entered the clearing and after an anxious glance she dropped her head and began to graze. The only sound that could be heard was that of Luther stretching the bowstring and letting go and a whistling in the air as a single arrow left the bow. The unfortunate creature pricked her ears and looked up as the arrow struck her side. Tahesin clasped his hands around his ears. The doe’s cries were horrible. Luther slung his bow over his shoulder and ran towards his kill and hoisted that upon his shoulder as well. “Can’t get fresher than that” he said coldly. “So what do you do with it now” asked Tahesin

huskily. “I assumed you knew how to cook it” said Luther. “You just put it over the fire and turn it so it doesn’t burn. “Here you start the fire Tahesin and I’ll skin it for you”.


BTW Luther is very cocky

Answer 1

Other people have already given you a rundown of the grammatical problems in this section. You asked the question of where to go with the story, though. My feeling is that you need to start with characterization. Determine for yourself who these people are. Go beyond the immediate particulars of age, physical characteristics, race, etc., and delve into what motivates them, what they desire most, and what stands in the way of those desires. Ask yourself lots of questions about these characters until you know them intimately. You will probably only use a tiny percentage of the information you develop in the actual narrative, but it's important that you know it, so whatever turn the story takes, you'll know how your character will respond.

Avoid cliche's. Someone else mentioned "piercing blue-green eyes" (and I'll talk more about this in a moment). Your reader isn't going to be interested in your character because he has piercing blue-green eyes. Make the character physically unique. Even showing flaws or handicaps will make him more interesting (but again, avoid cliche's... like a scar running down the side of his face).

Once you know and understand your character, then you can put him into a situation that will challenge him--his beliefs, his goals, his life--and this will form the basis for your story.

(This is what is required for a character-driven story. A plot-driven story is one in which the conflict might be more universal (such as political intrique). Even so, a good plot-driven story must have characters the reader will care about.)

Think about your setting. When is this story taking place? What are the natural challenges (other than marksmanship) these characters face? What do they see, smell, hear, feel, taste? What is the weather like? Do research so the setting comes alive in your imagination, then paint a picture for the reader using the perceptions of the character. (Avoid "info-dumps," which are long paragraphs filled with description or "back-story".)

Decide what is going to challenge your character, and start to build that tension from the very first page. What you've posted here is a snapshot of how these characters live, but really, they're not doing anything that interesting. The only challenge is that the one arrow flies true. It does, and these guys will live to hunt another day. And I've got no reason to wonder what happens next. I'm not drawn into the characters and their story.

Determine which one of these two is your main character. In the beginning it seems like Luther, but then it switches to Tahesin. This kind of "head-hopping" can be confusing to your reader and doesn't help him build empathy for the characters. So pick one of these two and tell the story through his perceptions. (You can shift to another character later on, but put in a scene break or chapter break before you switch.) Get inside the character's head and STAY THERE.

Thus... when you say that a character's "piercing blue-green eyes scanned the forest," this is a point-of-view slip. It's as if you're viewing the character through a camera lens. You're not inside his head. He's hunting... he's not going to notice the color of his own eyes or be thinking about them being "piercing." Rather, it could read more like this: Luther squinted against sunlight filtering through the trees and scanned the forest floor for any signs the earth would yield. He breathed in the scent of moldy leaves and sodden earth. He flexed his fingers on his bow, ready to act should he spy any movement in the clearing. (Note Luther's internal perspective and sensory perceptions).

A final tip I'd like to give you... try to show what is happening rather than telling the reader what's going on. Here's what I mean:

You wrote: The doe's cries were horrible.

Better: The doe's scream sliced through Tahesin's senses, sending a jolt through him that pierced all thought.

Notice the word choices... sliced, jolt, pierced... all words reminiscent of hunting, hurting, killing. Using words like these, and describing rather than telling, helps to paint a picture for your reader and draw him into the story world.

Hope this helps!

Cheers,
Diana

Answer 2

You should edit your piece several times for punctuation, spelling, and reading ease before continuing. Included in your posting are my suggestions that include paragraphing:

Luther stayed hidden in the brush of the forest, barely daring to BREATHE through fear of scaring AWAY tonight’s meal. He laid in wait COMMA, his arrow NOTCHED and ready.

He was tucked away from any possible danger, his jacket blended perfectly with the forest; his piercing blue-green eyes scanned the forest floor with the distinct precision of an expert huntsman. The silence was broken as a mother deer entered the clearing and COMMA, after an anxious glance COMMA, she dropped her head and began to graze. The only sound that CAME was that of Luther stretching the bowstring and letting go THE SINGLE ARROW, ITS WHISTLING SHATTERING THE AIR.

The unfortunate creature pricked her ears and looked up as the arrow struck IN her side. Tahesin clasped his hands around his ears. The doe’s cries were horrible TO HIM.

Luther slung THE bow over his shoulder and ran toward (NO S) his kill and hoisted IT upon his shoulder as well. “Can’t get fresher than thatCOMMA,” he said. (Omit the adverb, coldly. Let the reader determine Luther's mood.)

“So what do you do with it nowQUESTION MARK” asked Tahesin PERIOD.

Answer 3

Couple of questions first. One, you describe his eyes as piercing. I am so sick of that description, could you do better? Then, you identify the deer as a mother deer, not just a doe. Where's the fawn? Without the fawn, who knows if the doe is mommy or not. And does this have any bearing on the future story. Does it mean anything to the guy that he may have left a young creature motherless? Finally, what if he wasn't tucked away from any possible danger? What if he only thought he was? It would be interesting to me to find out that this guy wasn't as great as he seems to think he is. Just some thoughts.

Answer 4

right this is a thank you to help triumph over author's block. it extremely is worked each time for me. return on your characters, and envision all and sundry much greater thoroughly than you have. Write a backstory for each character, alongside with mothers and dads, grandparents, education, friends, renowned ingredients, hues, fears, and so on. JRR Tolkien wrote finished cultural histories alongside with languages till now he began writing The Lord Of The rings and The Hobbit. The greater element you place into each character, the simpler they are going to "tell" you what they do interior the plot. it extremely is the shallow, poorly written characters which fail and make a plot stumble.