Ok, I'm 16 and my friend is about one and a half years younger than me. She was telling me the other day how her mom put her on birth control pills and is telling her that she's gona do it any way so she better do it soon. Oh and by the way, her boyfriend is 18. They've been going out for a while, but I think this is so wrong of her mother because my friend doesn't want to.
2007-11-24 06:30:04 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Both my friends mother and father approve of her having an 18 year old boyfriend.
2007-11-24 11:21:46 · update #1
Definitely sounds like the mom is being a little lax in explaining what she may actually mean. She may really be assuming that her daughter is interested in having sex.
Definitely not taking the mom's side by any means here.
She probably needed to really talk to her daughter and ask her to be honest and tell her that she's not going to be mad if her daughter is really going to proceed with having sex with her boyfriend. Maybe she could've just left it at "if you ever decide you're going to, please let me know and we'll get birth control so you are protected". AND also mention that using condoms would be a wise decision also.
I'm so sorry you're put in this situation. Dealing with your own questions is hard enough, let alone bearing the weight of wanting to help your friends make good decisions also. Sounds like you may be the only clear-headed person in this.
My advice would be to tell your friend that it's perfectly respectable to not have sex and if others make fun of her, then let them. They might be the ones with kids when they're still kids and she'll still be able to be young and follow her dreams. As for her mom, maybe she just didn't know how to approach the subject...that's still not an excuse.
2007-11-24 06:46:02 · answer #1 · answered by sweet_trixie_1977 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you saying that her mother put her on birth control pills because she thinks she's going to have sex anyway? Or are you saying that her mother put her on birth control pills and told her to go have sex? These are two different things.
The way I'm reading the question (minus the title) makes it seem like the mother is just taking protective measures. She is putting her daughter on birth control because she knows about her boyfriend and believes her daughter will have sex with him. She is thinking that its better safe than sorry. If she is putting her on birth control and encouraging her young daughter to have sex, that's just wrong however, it is up to the daughter, not her mother. She will have sex when she wants to and if she is not ready now then she probably won't
2007-11-24 11:13:39 · answer #2 · answered by First Lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That whole process of thinking is wrong. She should not be encouraging her daughter to have sex at 14 (or any age, in fact), especially if she is verbalizing that she is not ready. Another disturbing part of your story is that her boyfriend is 18. In the eyes of the law, this is statutory rape. He can be arrested if he does it and she can have a CPS report made against her if she knowingly lets them engage in sexual acts (and there will be more problems with her encouraging it). This is a reality not my opinion. Just because she "will do it anyway" is not appropriate thinking. She should talk to adult she can trust or maybe you could do it for her. You are obviously concerned about her well-being and it would be a shame for her to get an STD or end up pregnant at such a young age.
2007-11-24 06:50:21 · answer #3 · answered by Rennie (is having a baby!) 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't think that her mother is making her have sex rather than giving her what she needs if she decided to have sex. It is technically illegal for her to have sex if you live in the U.S. (and most other countries) however. As for the she better do it soon, that's a little werid and there isn't much to say about that other than I think it's a bit of bad parenting or it's some emotional or mental scars her mother has. Just let your friend know that she doesn't have to have sex if she doesn't want to and it is technically illegal until she turns 16.
2007-11-24 10:38:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mom sounds like a nut case! To put your kid on B/C is smart as a preventative measure, but to encourage her to do it is crazy. Just tell your friend "Never do anything, unless it's her idea". That includes sex. If I had a 14 1/2 yr old daughter, she also wouldn't be dating an 18 yr old boy. I feel sorry for your friend, but her mom needs help, if she believes this is right.
2007-11-24 08:37:05 · answer #5 · answered by Enlightened One 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because she put her on birth control doesn't mean that she is forcing her to have sex. She is just being realistic and knows that she will eventually and she doesn't want her to get pregnant. Also, since she is under the age of 16, if she was to get pregant her b/f could go to jail, even if her mom knows about it. The doctor is required to report to Child Services when a minor is pregnant by an adult.
2007-11-24 06:34:58 · answer #6 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I really don't see your question, but first of all it is illegal in the US for an 18 yr old to engage in sexual relations with a minor, regardless of parent encouragement or permission.
You should tell your friend not to give in to the pressure of today's generation, sex is NOT required for you to gain experience for marriage, I would give anything to have waited until I met my wife. You will not understand unless you are my age, but believe me it is worth the wait.
Unfortunately today's youth is dumb and follow others mindlessly. Be strong.
Hope you make the right decision.
2007-11-24 06:36:38 · answer #7 · answered by Verbatim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh wow. that mom needs as much help as the girl. I understand the birth control as a preventative thing but to tell her she better do it soon? Thats sick. YOur friend needs to go speak to someone who knows what they are talking about, a preacher, counselor, trusted older friend of the family. She does not HAVE to have sex just because her mom wants her to. Wow, I will have to pray for this unknown woman.
2007-11-24 06:35:24 · answer #8 · answered by Becca K 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
now that is just sick. Not that he mother gave her the birth control, but that she is actively suggesting that her minor child
have sex with an adult, which is statutory rape for the guy.
Why the hell is a college aged man going out with a girl in grade school??? An the Mom approves instead of calling the cops?
2007-11-24 06:34:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Talk to your friend. Tell her what your mom is doing isn't right. She should go to jail for making her daughter have sex.
2007-11-24 06:39:51 · answer #10 · answered by S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋