When you feel betrayed, do you ever ask yourself....?

Question

.... who is really the one that betrayed you?? Was it

- the other person, or
- your expectations?

Answer 1

generally my expectations, because we create a legend around something..Then we discover that it was just a screen, wehre we were projecting our wishes and nothing else...
The screen falls one day..
End of the scene, end of audience, end of the spectacle...

Answer 2

You should always have expectations from others. However, you need to know the difference between good and bad expectations. You should not expect a man to take care of your every whim. However, you can expect him to treat you proper and love you as much as possible. So, yes, i have asked that question many times. But again, knowing the boundries of a good and bad expectation will usually give you an anwers. If your expectations were within a decent range, then it was probably the other person who 'betrayed' you. Though, 'betray' is a strong word. Did they really betray you or just let you down?

Answer 3

Usually I feel the problem is with both. The people let me down because my expectations are too high.
At times I even feel I should just do things on my own so that I know that I did the best I could, nothing more could have been done or tht my expectations were unrealistic.

Answer 4

Betrayed is a rather strong word, which to me symbolizes a serious breech of trust. People do dumb things all the time, that hurt feelings, or let someone down, but I dont see that as betrayal. Still, when those things happen, I look for a way to forgive. I tell myself that I am not perfect, and if i did something that hurt someone, or let them down, how would I want to be treated? Now, with that said, if someone seems to consistently let you down or hurt you, you should re-evaluate. I like to say "[Hurt/Fool/etc] me once, shame on you. [Hurt/Fool/etc] me twice, shame on me." Although I will say, I really try to give more than one chance for screwing up.

Answer 5

ahhh Alice i wish i knew.
A friend of mine betrayed me like 5 years ago. We were very good friends but i learnt that she is not as god as she seemed. So i was sad.
I don't know it is a very long subject but i can tell you the part where i did wrong.
The first time i saw that she was acting weird i didn't react. I didn't talk to her. And she was having some problems back then so i was just thinking she feels bad that's why she talks like this. But then i saw that it wasn't because of that period it was because she wasn't a nice person and it took me time to understand that. although people around me were warning me about her. I continued being friends with her until i realized her real face. So... i don't know

Answer 6

I don't think in terms of being betrayed. Being "let down" is more like it. Usually I take the responsibility of putting too much on others-whatever that might be- and having too many expectations of them. From this I am finally learning not to count on anyones' undying loyalty or support. We all have our limits. And we all let others down in occasion. Best to just rely on myself and reasonably ( to a point) on a trusted few. I don't like to ask things of people, especially of loved ones. Best to take care of it myself.

Answer 7

Probably my expectations of the person. If they are close enough that I would feel betrayed, they should know me better and know what would bother me..

Answer 8

people should treat others with common respect and courtesy and be genuine about it. BUT not all do so therefore one has to not have expectations when it comes to certain people because sooner or later they will screw you over. If its someone close and you were betrayed. no its not your fault they betrayed you at all./ Its theirs.

Answer 9

Yes. This happened to me last week. My supposed best friend lives in Texas and he is an alcoholic. He calls me every day and IM's me ALL the time and we have been friends for 7 years. He has a psycho girlfriend and she thinks we are more than friends. It's so stupid! I've tried to explain it to her over and over but she STILL doesn't get it. Anyway my friend evidently told HER (she told me this) that he said *I* was draining his energy because *I* was bothering HIM all the time. It really hurt. I was in shock. I called him and he didn't answer. He did IM me after I said, "I can't believe this" and told me his gf was insane and she just told me that to rile me up. So I tentatively let him back in....but he still continues to call me up, drunk, and talk smack about his girlfriend. Now I really think ( of course he denied it) that he is playing both of us off one another for his convenience. I think he wants to have his cake and eat it too. Now, I don't know what to do. Sorry about my rant. It was the person.

Answer 10

aw yes all the time. most of the time i put the blame on myself. even when it wasn't. I always say (for example the scenerio being guy not showing up for a date) it was because I'm not worthy of his love. He's much too smart/sweet for me, i'm just aiming for a guy that's so much better than me. Never do I realize that he is the one who is the jerk and HE doesn't deserve ME. A lot of times it the question asked says a lot about one's self-esteem. Many with high egos blame others, whereas the low self-esteem blame themselves

Answer 11

For me, betrayal is not possible without expectations. No expectations, no betrayal. But, to enter into a covenant of trust with someone carries terms, spoken and unspoken. It's like love. One cannot suffer a broken heart if one never allows himself to fall in love. If we never enter into covenants of trust, we will never feel betrayal. It is better to love and trust, though, and experience broken hearts and betrayal. It is also wise to re-evaluate your expectations thoroughly from time to time in life. So many of our expectations are not fair of other people. They are actually neurotic manipulations. But, all that said, it is also wise to recognize the untrustworthy and never give of yourself in any way to them. Only fools only give.