Can a person with a very low self esteem ever be in a fulfilling relationship?

Question

In other words-can a person who feels as if they aren't good enough for their partner ever suceed in that relationship?

I want to see what people here in GWS think.. :)

I ask this because I always hear people saying that before someone can love you, you have to love yourself.

Answer 1

Doubtful, extremely doubtful. You may luck out and pick a wonderful, generous person who values you and respects you. But if you think poorly of yourself, I think it would decrease your chances of finding, attracting, or choosing a partner who would appreciate you more than you think of yourself.

Even if your partner loved and respected you, if you weren't assertive about what you needed, how could your partner truly help you fulfill your dreams? They could only guess what you needed, they'd never be sure.

Answer 2

A person with low self esteem can get in a good relationship with the right person but too often end up with someone who takes advantage of them because of that low self esteem. a woman with low self esteem can be in a relationship with a man who cheats on her with everyone else and she will stay in that relationship because of the low self esteem or insecurity rather than kicking him out and looking for someone else. A person who loves themselves too much can be just as bad though as having low self esteem. The perfect balance is good self esteem and confidence, and a good choice of somwone to get into a relationship with.

Answer 3

I think you have to disguise between low self-esteem and insecurity. Those two traits can look the same on the surface, but there is a difference. The insecure person, with the right partner, can grow and their relationship be mutually fulfilling. The person with true, low self esteem usually has deeper seeded issues that only they themselves can fix through therapy or by reading a lot of self-help books. It would be hard to live with someone with low self esteem. It would be like living with a 'project' who is constantly a glass-is-half-empty sort of a person.

Answer 4

Well, if you want to live your life the way you want it to, tell Billy the situation now. Depending on the way he acts, he may assist you in this matter. Secondly, strengthen your skills relating to moral integrity. What is good and what is evil? What should I do and what should I not do? Think and plan ahead. Of course, this might not sound new to you. We all have problems that we find simple but frustrating when we face them. Finally, and last of all, think to yourself that you are normal (not in the sense that you're better than everyone else) and you are human, just like any other person. You have the potential to make your life better. Good luck.

Answer 5

I believe a happy and full relationship can only be built when both partners lead already happy and full lives. One should never rely on another person for their happiness. I don't think a person should go into a relationship expecting the other person to fill the voids and make things better.

Answer 6

Not until you get enough esteem to value yourself as person independent of other people, male or female. Go out and become the kind of person you'd want as a friend and then you'll attract friends and/or partners worth having.

Answer 7

i agree with the other posts mostly. you have to have good self-esteem - doesn't have to be 100% but should be fairly high- to have a fulfilling relationship, but i bet there are some exceptions. i know someone who is a bit insecure but has been married for about 30 years. maybe he compensates in ohter areas like love, communication and commitment.

Answer 8

I don't think you can have a good relationship if you don't have good self esteem. Someone might start to date you because you're attractive, but at some point they'll get tired of having to listen to your problems, tell you you're great, etc.

It reminds me of when Barbara Hutton, a multi-millionaire, married Cary Grant. They were referred to as "Cash and Cary". She came from a dysfunctional family, and was never happy. And if a woman can't be happy being married to Cary Grant, then she can NEVER be happy. They eventually divorced, of course.

Answer 9

The very first thing a person has got to do before they make that commitment is to commit to themselves 100%. What this means is that when a person is fully committed to themselves, they fall head over heel in love with themselves; when they do that they have love to give. There is a saying about people who do not love themselves; they take all of their dislike/hatred into the relationship with them, expecting that his/her love is going to solve everything. That's not the way it works. It doesn't work because of of the couple is taking extra baggage into a relationship, expecting it/then to be solved by the ever powerful emotion love. Yes, love is strong; what makes love strong is the commitment we give it; there can be no other way. We are the fuel that ignites the burning passion of true love; true love is not the fuel that burns our passions.**Had I not loved myself I could have never married my husband and stayed married to him for the past 23 yrs; there is no way it could have worked.

Answer 10

I don't think someone with very low self esteem can be in a fufilling relationship, because they don't believe they deserve one. They are unprepared to accept the affection of another.