My 21 year old sister has met a girl over the internet who is in her mid-twenties. Apparently, they like each other more than friends and are in a relationship, but many states separate them. My sister has a math degree and is certified to be a teacher and because of one bad experience, is trying to do something else with her life... currently she works at a grocery store. Her girlfriend is in her own home state, living with her parents, a mother who had at one time kicked her out for being gay and a father who really depends on her to take care of her disabled mother. Neither parent approves of her lifestyle and she is pretty much stuck there, because if she leaves.. her mother will go into a nursing home.
2007-11-24 02:47:00 · 10 answers · asked by Holy Macaroni! 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
My sister has put her life on hold for this girl, applying for jobs left and right in this girl's home state... willing to make sacrifices for a relationship that is pretty much doomed to not work out. My mother and I have tried to convince her to find a job here and do what is best for her, but she is very stubborn and immature. If you need more details, I will give them.
2007-11-24 02:47:16 · update #1
My sister is leeching off of my mother right now, because her contract didn't get renewed with the county she was working for. No one in my family has a problem with her being gay, bisexual, or confused.... I am bisexual and have been all of my life, but my sister suddenly decides that she is when she meets this girl... and yes, she has met her in person. In fact, she bought her a cell phone so that it wouldn't cost her as much money to talk to her. We let my sister run her own life, but she always comes crawling back and having to depend on us. She doesn't learn from her own mistakes... and I doubt she ever will.
2007-11-24 03:21:19 · update #2
This is a hard situation but your sister is going to have to figure this out for herself...I was in a relationship one time and was told by everyone that it wouldn't work out but i didn't believe them because i was in "love"...i found out the hard way that they were right...
Goodluck!
;)
2007-11-24 04:17:08 · answer #1 · answered by ♫christy♫ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sister is young yet and she has a lot on her shoulders. I think this "relationship" is complicating matters. Are you upset because she is gay? I think that is fine but she should try to meet someone that lives closer and doesn't have so many problems. I'm weary of meeting people on the internet. Has she physically met the woman? What if she is totally making things up and/or messing with your sister's mind? You really can't tell your sis what to do? I'm curious, WHAT IS THE BAD EXPERIENCE THAT PREVENTS HER FROM TEACHING? If she has a teaching degree, she should be doing more than working at a grocery store. Whatever she does, she SHOULD NOT move in with this troubled woman and her disabled mother. Your sister is just too young and she hardly knows this woman like I said! I don't know what else to say. Would your sis agree to go counseling about this?
2007-11-24 03:12:33 · answer #2 · answered by jessica 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not assume that this is not going to work out... I have friends that met over the internet and one lived in the US and the other in Hawaii -- they met and have been together for nine years and have survived taking care of parents, deaths of parents, all kinds of things. You never know!
There are many other reasons that your sister may be pursuing this relationship also. Perhaps she is ready to get away from home and experience some things without her family minding her business... Back away and let her have some space.
2007-11-24 03:11:40 · answer #3 · answered by Mary A 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever been so in love that you would do anything for the person you love? If not, then you don't have any way to understand what she is going through. The only thing you may succeed in doing is losing your relationship with your sister. Let her do what she feels she needs to do and if things don't work out just be there for her and help her any way you can.
2007-11-24 03:07:21 · answer #4 · answered by jennysmith0214 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. I'd quit supporting her, financially.
2. I'd let her fall on her face.
3. I'd encourage my sister to get help from a physician. She has classic signs of clinical depression.
4. I'd let my sister know that I love her no matter what, but that she is also an adult and needs to grow up on her own.
2007-11-24 04:07:31 · answer #5 · answered by cyanne2ak 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldnt let her live completely off of you, its ok to help someone out when they need help but the reason she isnt learning from her mistakes is because you keep fixing them for her, you dont have to be mean about it, but just dont help her out as much as you have in the past and try to explain that she need to figure her problem out on her own i was once in a similar situation w/ my friend alicia
2007-11-24 03:27:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
your sister must really care for this other girl...
let it run its own course..
if it works, your sis will be happy
if it doesn't, well she will have more life experience under her belt
2007-11-24 02:52:41 · answer #7 · answered by Ҡʁɨᶑῳᴲᴎ ® 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let her be,,,, she's old enough to handle things for herself,,she knows whats best for her....hope she is doing the right decision.
2007-11-25 09:51:44 · answer #8 · answered by ma.liza "blue" 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its how ur sister feels about that girl, if she is willing to do alll those things, then she must really love her
2007-11-24 03:58:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes people have to learn by thier own mistakes
2007-11-24 03:11:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋