Ball Room Dancing and Tango?

Question

I am an average ball room dancer, I decided to take private lessons as a surprise for my GF who I love from all my heart... went for my lesson, and my instructor is a fair nice looking lady, who gave me some theory about tango that I chose to start with, she explained that tango is the most intimate dance in all ball room, and requires closeness, and at the beginning although very professional, she showed me that my right leg should be between her legs.. when we started the dance, although the door of the dance room was wide opened, and this is a reputable studio.. I had the goose bumps to be so close to her... i was embarrassed to ask for distance, although she was extremely professional.. I was sexualy aroused....
this brought 1000 questions in my mind.. Am I wrong? what about tango with 2 people who are not in a relation? is that how my GF learned? what if she saw me dancing? what if I see her dancing with her instuctor ? Am I pervert?... is tango a sexual dance?

Answer 1

I danced for over 25 years, never allowed myself to be close to a person who is not my partner, and yes your instructor was right in all information, and because it is a romantic dance that requires closeness, you don't dance it with any person... and if you dance in any situation with a person WHO is not your wife, I think one dance is enough, and you would dance with more reservation than if it was your wife... now talking about the way your your instructor danced with you this is weird.... I toughed some women the steps (I am not an instructor) but showed some women who asked about the dance when they see me dancing... I tell them how it is but don't put my thighs between their.. if I dance appropriate, I have no problem dancing with somebody in front of my partner, and so she should....
a simple analogy... if a person goes to a sexual therapist asks about sexual questions, the therapist can explain without experiencing it.....

Answer 2

Pervert, no, but for the shy it takes some getting used to. Tango is very passionate, but not necessarily sexual, and the closer body position is needed because of the "crab walk" that you may not have begun to learn yet. Most beginners and many intermediate dancers place their feet on track as if they were dancing waltz or foxtrot, and I suspect you haven't yet begun to learn the proper walking step for tango, after which the whole thing will begin to make sense.
It's a dance, and just a dance, so accept it for what it is, and enjoy. It becomes a bit complicated whether two people should always have the very close contact, because beginners will tend to have the feelings that you're having, but advanced dancers think nothing of it. Dance to your partner's comfort level and you'll be fine.

Answer 3

Tango is a sexy but not sexual dance... there is a difference.
I have been dancing Argentine tango exclusively for 3 years and have never ever been made to feel the way you describe.
The posture you describe is not necessary and if it made you uncomfortable, wrong. ATango can be danced in Salon style, which is a more open embrace and allows for more freedom of movement and comfort for many dancers. Perhaps you should discuss this with your teacher. Not everyone wants to dance close embrace with everyone and should not be made to do so if they are at all uncomfortable with it.

Answer 4

Ballroom Tango is danced not any closer to your partner than Waltz or Foxtrot. The hold and the movement are different, but the rest is similar. Your right leg goes in between your partner legs in all dances. It is kind of shocking at first but you totally get used to it. Also, as you learn to do it properly, you don't really rub thighs with your partner anymore, you just barely touch it. Beginners tend to be completely square to each other, that makes them feel there is no room for legs.
Tango is passionate in its expression but I don't think it's much more sexual than Waltz. I don't know why your teacher was saying it's intimate. Actually, I think it's the opposite, because you learn to make your movement so powerful you forget about intimacy altogether.
I dance and compete, and I had so many different partners throughout my competetive career that the number might sound scary. No, we weren't in a relationship in vast majority of the partnerships. Like I said, you just get used to it and you totally ignore it. You learn to put your feet in such a way that your legs don't bump. Also, dancers learn to stand more upright so that her upper body is not rubbing on her partner's body. If I think about it, I never feel my partner legs anymore.
Haha, I love it how you started to worry about how your GF learned. If she had a good instructor - she probably felt like "hmm, I wonder what did he do with his legs, where did he put them because I think they're supposed to be there but they are not." Many guys describe the experience like you do - "this beatuful instructor just showed her body against mine... aaa... help". In the leader role, you step forward a lot more often. That makes some difference in how it feels too.
Up till now, I was talking about competitive style of dancing. If you are looking to learn social tango, the hold doesn't need to be so close, but then it doesn't look as good. Argentine Tango is compltetely different, too.
All that said, if you think your instructor is shamelesly hitting on you - trust your instincts, you're probably right. It's higly unprofessional but not unheard of.

Answer 5

I think this happens with a lot of people, its ok for me as im dating my dance partner. Just remember that its professional, no relationship is gonna come out of this with your dance teacher. What would be more embarassing would be if you were competing at a comp and you got hard and the whole audience and judges saw.