Would you work on things if ??

Question

Wondering how many woman out here who are married would work on their marriage after they got hit in the face by there husbands FIST!.
He punched me int he face, I have a fat upper lip and a black eye, I didn't call the police cause I really don't want him in jail he was drunk AGIAN.....we go through this crap every weekend yet this is the first time he has his put his hands on me , I had to call the x to come and get my 7 year old son so he would not be a part of the event. he ended up staying at his parents house since there out of town for the weekend should I say get your stuff and a lawyer and get out or get sober and we are getting help? We have only been married four months, been together a year and he has never showed any signs of this before, he was going to AA however that stopped when they said he was off probation and now he has been drinking more than ever before and refuses to go to AA. What can I do?

Thank you to all that took the time to answer me, the story ends well, I called his sister and his family(parents) they all came over with my sister and brother in law and had a wake up call...He is getting help and promised that I would be ok. I have to give him the help he needs and if that fails then we are done. I don't think we are ready to call it quits yet. But thank you for all your support.

Answer 1

I hate to say it but now that he's done it, it'll happen again.
Move out - or move him out.
Get a lawyer.
Get on with your life.
Good luck.

Answer 2

applebot....i believe there are only 2 reasons to divorce:
1) adultry
2) abuse, physical or mental
everything else can be worked out by two willing people.

that being said u and ur son need 2 get out. if he is starting physical abuse with u how long will it b before your son tries 2 stop him from hitting mommy and he pushes him aside and hurts him. or your ex contacts his atty and u lose custody of ur son due 2 ur abusive relationship with ur husband...judges look out 4 the childs wellbeing even when the parents don't/won't. is this abuse worth losing ur son over also.

no real man lifts his hand in anger towards a woman no matter what has been said or done to lead up to it.
aa or no aa meetings, probation 4 what.

sober or drunk, physical abuse and hitting is not /was not/will not/ and should not be acceptable. get yourself and your son out of harms way, call the police and report this and any other incident, get your own lawyer and find someone who will love you and your son with something more than whats left after the bottle is empty.

Answer 3

Get out!! Was married 25 years to an alcoholic and lived that life! You can't fix it so take your child and run! I would do it immediately. You called the ex to remove his 7 year old son from the violence and I would be carefull here because..... the ex could call social services to prevent the child from going back into an abusive environment. Trust me you cannot change this man that raised his hand to you.....the respect is gone now and that has to be the end of of all ends because the line was crossed and thats's it!!!! Let him work his program if he wants to and good luck to him ....but when my ex used the program after hitting me I got out and thought he could stick the AA program up his AZZZZZZ! Just get over him and make life better for you and your son without him in your lives. When he punched you in the face he ruined everything...and if he can abuse you he will abuse your child to...please do not put your your son through that! Get out as fast as you can and get an exparte order of protection against him.

Answer 4

Sweetheart, you need to get away from him ASAP. He's been to AA and stopped going as soon as his probation was up. That should tell you he has no intention of trying to stop drinking. Even though this was the first time he punched you, it wil not be the last. The next time it may be worse than this. Read the papers and look at the statistics and don't become one. Him saying he's sorry and won't do it again won't cut it either. You're the one he's supposed to love. Is that the kind of love you want? Be smart about it. Good Luck.

Answer 5

By not calling the police and doing something about this you have just become a stat. What is it 1 in 10 women report domestic violence. I have no resepect for any man that hits a lady, its the first thing your daddy should teach you when your growing up. Oh, and by the way, being drunk is an excuss not a reason for this behavior. All im trying to tell you is if you dont get out, you might find yourself dead.

Answer 6

I have learned that I should have called the police when similar things happened to me. I am now divorced and the judge didn't have a lot of mercy on me for living with it and not calling police. Maybe he does need to go to jail. I would go to the police and have this incident documented. Especially if you still have bruises.
Once he hits you and gets away with it he will do it again. Kick him out. and get a restraining order.

Answer 7

His first mistake was hitting you, his second was dropping out of AA. He knows he has a problem with drinking and needs help. Everyone that is a recovering alcholic knows that they are only one step away from losing soberity and returning to drinking. It's a lifetime choice. He chose to go the opposite. Don't divorce him, but I would demand he return to AA for help. Find a safe place for you and your son until he straightens up. If he wants his marriage to work then he will listen. If not I would then file for divorce. Good luck.

Answer 8

This is no longer a matter of being in love with your husband and trying to work out a relationship. This has become a matter of PERSONAL SAFETY.

Run, don't walk, away. NOW!!! Until he decides to get sober on his own, you, me, or the man in the moon telling him to do so won't help. In the meantime, you have yourself and a child to look after. I would also get a lawyer.

Good luck.

Answer 9

It isn't long before he does more than strike you in the face! GET OUT OF THIS SITUATION NOW! You want your son to be without a mother?? There are thousands of battered women shelters to help you. You can file a restraining order, etc. GET HELP NOW!

No marriage or relationship is worth that kind of abuse!

Answer 10

Leave. Tell him that until he sobers up and makes some huge changes in his life, you will not have contact with him. You need to protect yourself and your son. This will not be the last time he hits you unless you stand up and say H3LL NO!. If he does indeed clean up his act, then you can consider some counseling and take him back. If not, then move on with your life. Good luck.

Answer 11

IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM SHOULD A MAN PUT HIS HANDS ON SOMEONE THAT HES SUPPOSE TO LOVE. FOR HIM TO DO THAT HE BECOMES A COWARD. I WOULD LEAVE HIM BECAUSE ITS ONLY GOING TO GET WORSE. IF YOU GO THRU THIS EVERY WEEKEND ITS TIME TO GO, NOTHINGS GOING TO CHANGE. JUST REMEMBER IT ONLY TAKE A INCH AND A SECOND FOR YOU TO LOSE YOUR LIFE, AND YOUR 7 YEAR OLD COULD BE WITH OUT YOU FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE