We have been together for 5 1/2 years , Had a baby in 2005, Got married two months ago. We both have met each others families n our families met each other families n enjoyed great company. ~ So .. I was thinking about christmas gifts and decided to find out my grandmothers family history for my father n my aunt .. I thought that would be a great gift. Any how in the process of doing so my husband sat next to me on the couch n asked to help me (there is alot of history) He was sooo shocked when he found out my great great great grandfather is also his great great great grandfather which makes us 4th cousin .. in no out way our families cross besides of this.~Hes taking this every well .. he said its too far away to matter n the ring on his finger makes him my husband and nothing else. Me on the other hand is taking this very badly, I cried and called my parents .. only to get my head chewed off by them .. they told me the same thing my husband told me. Am I'm taking this 2 far??
2007-11-23 20:02:13 · 44 answers · asked by hmmmmm777 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Please .. this is a real question .. and I would respect real answers.
BTW .. I am very in love with my husband
2007-11-23 20:03:00 · update #1
you are causing stupid problems for everyone, so what and thats a stupid gift to your aunt /uncle
2007-11-23 21:03:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
4th cousins is not an issue. It is far enough down the blood line so there will be NO problems with your children. To tell you the truth, I am getting married this coming year, and strongly suspect that my fiance is my 4th or 5th cousin...our great great grandparents founded a town together in Germany, and it was 2 families that basically became one big one. Just because my great great grandparents and his great great grandparents married doesn't make it incest, just one of those funny and slightly creepy stories about how small the world really is. You need to just relax, and have a good laugh at the end of the day. It really doesn't matter...he is your family by choice, by marriage first and foremost.
2007-11-23 20:07:41 · answer #2 · answered by Heather 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Prior to WWII families lived pretty close together in small communities and transportation was not readily available, majority of families within the same community. All pretty much married within the families. It you are concerned about your husband being your fourth cousin, don't be, don't think your the only one in this situation, thousand of families if they checked would be related. Today with families living so far apart it is still possible for a situation like your to come to liight. Genealogy is a very interesting hobby and as I tell my friends and family be proud of who your forefathers were, because without them this great country wouldn't be what it is today, nor would you be the person you are today, so be proud and don't let this far flung connection get you down, because there are millions out there with your same story. Take care and live happy.
2007-11-23 20:55:57 · answer #3 · answered by soldat1992 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly...yeah. You're taking it too hard. A 4th cousin barely even counts as being related. You married him, and he's your husband and the father of your child(ren). You love him as your husband, so don't worry about anything else.
I agree that it's kind of a weird thing to find out, but there are many far worse things that you could have learned about your husband other than him being your 4th cousin. Just don't tell people!!! Who would ever know if you don't tell them?
2007-11-23 20:07:57 · answer #4 · answered by Been here before 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that is too far off to matter. in some cultures even today people marry their first cousin. now that would be bad. my step mom is a big genealogy buff and she has traced every side of our families. she did my real moms and hers. turns out that distantly my dads 1st and 2nd wives are related. i think generation ally we are all related if you go back that far. if u are a Christan or creationist at all then ultimately we all are decedents of Adam and eve so all related. but if u think 4th cousins is close well it may even be further back than that. u did not say how old u are but my grandfathers were born in like 1933. their fathers probably born in late 1800's to 1910 somewhere. that would be great great. so going back any further would be say 1870 or so for great great great. so just for me my great great great grandfather would have been born in the wild wild west days. if u are older than me then it would date even further back. i think u are safe and not really technically related to your husband. its far enough back to not matter and u may have overreacted a little.
2007-11-23 20:13:16 · answer #5 · answered by cajunbaby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you're getting too upset about it. EVERYONE is related to some degree. Fourth cousins really isn't all that close. Even second cousins can legally marry. My sister once had a relationship with her second cousin (knowing that he was, of course), and no one thought anything about it.
Actually, I would think it's kind of cool, really, not upsetting. What an interesting spin in your family history! Just try and think about it as a really neat new connection that you've found with your husband.
2007-11-23 20:09:38 · answer #6 · answered by veramarie32 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless you invented this whole thing, you are crazy.
First of all, great great great grandfather (this is what you said) makes you MUCH more distant than 4th cousins, secondly, even if you were 4th cousins, it's so far that nobody in the right mind will even think about it.
2007-11-26 07:59:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say your pushing it way too far. Who really cares, you love him right? Ok that was the serious answer, second there are a few states where that is completely normal, but they are alot closer than 4th cousins, lol. Have fun, and don't worry about it. If you believe in adam and eve, were all imbred.
2007-11-23 20:11:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Often many people do not even know their 4th cousins as evvidenced by your story.
I think you are taking it too far. All this will do is cause tension and problems in your marriage.
In many states 2nd cousins can marry although I think that is too close.
4th should be fine.
Does this change how you feel about him and your child?
If not let it go. and if it does, then I feel bad for them. You need to forget about it and enjoy your life.
2007-11-23 20:09:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it matters. boyfriend did some math. He says you have 6.25% related. Now his math could be wrong, but even if it is, I think it would be much worse if say you had a kid and then your husband and your mother had a kid. "jerry jerry!"
See that's not you.
You can also look at it this way: You guys became family as your love grew.
Not because you share a small amount of genes.
2007-11-23 20:18:10 · answer #10 · answered by Antione 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow you talk about fate that is one of the best love stories i ever heard you are so lucky your great great grand parents must be singing in heaven you could sell this story to a Hollywood producer you fell in love with a fourth cousin your kids are only going to be better for it did you know that one our greatest presidents married his second cousin and they had some real smart kids no you don't have anything to worrier about wow what a great love story have a great day
2007-11-23 20:15:59 · answer #11 · answered by furface 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋