I know he likes me too..I think we both are being stopped by everyone around us.. I'm a black female
We always talk (we are both in college). College is not the easiest place to break the rules(interraicial dating of white guy& black girl). He flirts with me and I flirt back But we are both afraid to make the next move.
I know that if we were both of the same race it would not be this difficult.
I really like him. We have exchanged numbers and he has called me 4 times already. Our last phone conversation lasted 80 minutes and it was fun.
what should I do? I can tell it's killing him too. I can tell, from the way he looks at me that he wants to have alone (private) time with me But just can't say it.
I can't take it anymore and I don't care about his race. I find myself longing for him. He always comes to my other classes at the end to talk to me. We have 1 class together. He always compliments me on my looks.
what should I do?
2007-11-23 18:56:19 · 38 answers · asked by :( 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
What should I say without making a fool of myself...
2007-11-23 18:56:55 · update #1
Girl just be yourself! you told it! if race does not matter to you then act the same as he if was of your own race, ask yourself what would you do to get the next move if this guy would be black? so go ahead and do it!
I am white and I love black men, my boyfriend is black, dark skinned and I don't care about what people think of our relationship because in the end the opinion of people is not what will make you happy but the result of your own decisions.
2007-11-23 19:10:15 · answer #1 · answered by Fatima 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the two of you HONESTLY do not care about the race of the other then what does it matter? Don't be so sure it is race that causes HIM to be shy. Playing the race card early on could be a bad idea and could really "un-nerve" a person.
All people are somewhat shy when they enter into a relationship. Get to know this dude, learn about his friends and family... Just because you are Black doesn't mean that it is going to be a problem.... Maybe the problem is that he is White. I found college to be exactly the place to explore and break the rules, If you two are having fun then continue to have fun and stop worrying about race. Next time the two of you are flirting, take the next step and ask him to dinner... ON YOU. If he makes an excuse ask, does this mean we aren't friends? Then neither of you needs to feel awkard and the facts will be out in the open without being over bearing and agressive.
In an ideal world you would never have to worry about race, and I wish you didn't in this one...but I do believe some of the strongest and most loving relationships I see are couples of different races. I truly believe that they have overcome much more than same race copules and that is what makes their realitionships so "passionate".
Like High School, college is NOT the real world nor the end of the world. Worst case scenario, you find out that race IS an issue with this guy and you move on.... Nothing gained if you don't 'nudge" him to find out.
2007-11-23 19:12:06 · answer #2 · answered by infoseeker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe just keep doing what you're doing while keeping your status on the low from all of your friends and family. However, I am not sure about the specifics, but most people college age (I just graduated in may, 23 yrs old) are open. I have actually been in this exact situation, being white and being caught in neutral with a black girl because of everyone else around us. I would suggest take it slowly, but I would think your families would have a harder time, but you have the luxury of being away at school so they don't have to know while this is growing. I wouldn't even say anything until you are going together as bf gf for a couple of months or so.
2007-11-23 19:05:14 · answer #3 · answered by Trojan8408 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make your move! Go for it! Race doesn't matter. From what I have read you two have chemistry and seem to get along pretty well. There is no rule on interracial dating. You can't help who you like and don't like, just like you can't really choose who you fall in love with. And if it gets to the point where you two are serious enough and been together long enough to meet each others family. If it is obvious how you two feel for each other they would get over any of there misgivings and ignore something as stupid as the color of someones skin. As long as he treats you right and with respect and takes good care of you that is all that matters.
Anyone who gives you crap about you dating some one not of your race, you can tell them to go eat a bowl of *****. We are in the 21st century the narrow minded people need to open up.
2007-11-23 19:09:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are there any other people involved in your life and in your decision making?? You have a mind of your own--USE IT!! You are both in college--there to study FIRST and then socialize---so pick a time to accompany him for coffee or lunch or dinner--it isn't a big committment to have some easy times together. A movie once in a while--what is the big deal--smile and have fun and study hard--who cares about it?? Are you a drama student?? This is way too much drama--just go for a walk and enjoy getting to know each other. Stay off the phone and get moving
2007-11-23 19:03:40 · answer #5 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG!!! i'm soooo sorry if I sound naive or even stupid... but I really thought we were in 2007!! you know what I mean?!?
that this kind of stuff didn't existed anymore.
break the rules you say??
you sound like when black people couldn't ride white people buses... or have dinner in white people restaurants.
as I said... I'm sorry if I'm so naive but I was so sure that us, humans, were a little better than that.
I've seen so many interracial couples... everywhere... not only black and white and it shocks me to hear something like that.
I am sorry I can't give you a better answer than this, but I'm truly surprised... I do think that things can change from place to place, so maybe where you live is like that...
but you know... honestly... you already answer your own question!
you said: I DON'T CARE ABOUT HIS RACE.
that's your answer!! because... in the end... what I learned is... that that is called racism! so you shouldn't really care if he is white, blue or yellow... just care if he is a nice person and if he will treat you right and make you happy!!!
2007-11-23 19:06:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right, what college are you going to????
I would think it would be easy there then your hometown.
Invite him to go do something together. If he is not making a move....he must be scared of SOMETHING.
His parents? Friends?
He would probably love to take the step of dating you.........but
I think you should wait to see what he does first.
I had someone i was crazy about. One day he told me he always fantasized about SHOCKING his parents by bringing a black girl home. Uhmmmm we saw each other but i never made him a permanent boyfriend for his strange behavior.
Have you ever seen the movie...guess who's coming to dinner?
Me, if i had the feelings for a certain person, i would go for it.
But there is a lot one goes through sometimes and you have to be pretty strong to handle the 'attitudes'.
2007-11-23 19:16:44 · answer #7 · answered by sweet Candy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe that segregation still exist in 2007 in the country of " freedom" and what now they wanna kill people feelings honey if u guys like each other then go for it, I 've seen a lot of couple that are ( mixed colors) black guys with white women and black women with white guys nd Evan more, hey if you think it will work out come to California this is where I'm seeing all the ethnics enjoying their lives with each other
2007-11-23 19:08:51 · answer #8 · answered by A simple thing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, there is nothing wrong with interracial dating. Just be careful and keep your emotions under control. If you can build a friendship first it will keep you from being hurt, no matter what color. Attraction is a powerful thing and can be dangerous if you let it get the best of you. Have fun, start slow, and figure out if he is truely the kind of man you respect and need before deciding on or giving into anything else!
2007-11-23 19:03:36 · answer #9 · answered by Raney 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LIfe is difficult sweetie.
If we let other people pick the people we can love simply by the color of our skin, Martin Luther King Jr. died for nothing.
You should grab him by the hand and lead him to someplace where you can get a coffee and sit and talk. Tell him exactly what you feel for him, and let him know what you want from him. He can't read your mind, and if you want him to date you, and he won't make the move, it will have to be done by you.
What did you say in the phone conversation, use that to bring up a topic similar to working in your liking him.
Never let anyone's opinions stop you from being who you want to be! Love sees no color.
Love and light,
Marina
2007-11-23 19:04:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋