How do you deal with a wife/husband that never has time for you?

Question

My husband and I don't have a lot of time together. He works at night and sleeps all day. We spend the weekend doing things with other people, never alone. I was happy because I thought today we were going to be alone and go shopping together, but he has told some friends of ours to meet us where we were going, and we spent the day with them. I just want to spend time alone with my husband and son sometimes. He got up early this morning to go hunting, and so last night I only got about 15 minutes of his time (if you get me) and tonight our son fell asleep and I laid him down, and he was already going to bed. I told him that our son was asleep and that we could be alone, and he said "I'm going to bed, I'm going hunting in the morning again, and I need sleep" I was upset and said that all I wanted was a few minutes to sit together and talk, and he said "I'm GOING to bed" and did, then got mad because I got upset! Was I wrong for getting upset, when the weekends are the ONLY time we can

spend together, and we haven't spent any time alone for months. I mean literally..we don't even go to the grocery store together.. And, on top of that, last night was the first time we'd had sex for seven weeks, and he didn't even want to.. he was more worried about getting enough sleep to go hunting. He just keeps doing this to me, over and over, then calls me a baby or a drama queen when I get upset and tell him that I'd like some time alone with MY family, and not latch onto our friends or his family all the damn time!

What would you do if you husband/wife treated you this way?
we're only 25 and we've only been married a couple of years..

Answer 1

Do the complete a positive of what you always do. If you expressed you want to spend more time together and this hasn't caused him to do so, then you have to try a different approach. He'll want to know what's going on with you. Make sure you are taking care of yourself. Throw on some nice clothes, fix your hair up and let him see what he has. Don't loose yourself. Whatever you do don't nag him he will only shut down. Good luck to you both!

Answer 2

I feel for you.
And if he's not willing to communicate, and at least meet you half way on this maybe it's time for drastic measures.
I'm certainly not into telling people to separate or get divorced, but your situation just isn't right.
It seems he's avoiding marriage.
I assume he loves you, but maybe he is no longer into marriage.
I really don't want to bring you down more then you are.
But you really don't want to be in this type of marriage do you?.
I'm sure you love him, but if he truly loved you he'd at least try to understand why you're hurting.
Something seems wrong with the lack of time alone you spend together.
You need to get answers.
Don't waste your life in a world that makes you miserable.
You're too young for that.
You need to somehow get an honest answer from him.
Good luck, wish i could do more for your situation.

Answer 3

You were right to get upset. As a family man he should also set a time for the family. Go hunting once in while is okay and if is only necessary when it is business related. To him he's giving importance to his diversion rather than with you.

Perhaps he's keeping something from you.

Answer 4

Give the man some space... I think he is going through a phase. It happens, I know... one day a man looks around and says, holy cow, I did not plan for my life to turn out like this.... men do that sometimes. They aren't upset, they just need some time to get used to the track they are on, and the notion that they may be on this track or path for some time.

If you smother him, he will resent you and accuse you of trying to take over his life.

Answer 5

ok well you sound just like my friend except she and her hubby dont have kids lol anyways he also goes hunting alot hes going today lol hunting and he went yesterday friday as well lol and ya all she wants is to spend the weekend with him too and unfortunately he does the same thing my friend gets upset and it is very understandable and heck i would be mad at my hubby if he did what your hubby and my friend hubby does i have two kids so i know how important it is to get alone time with your spouse i too sometimes dont get that since my hubby works and i stay at home with the girls and we dont get time alone since he goes to bed and i have to be up all night with our 5 month old girl who at times doesnt sleep anyways you arent a drama queen i know drama queens and girl you arent it lol its ok to get upset anyways stay strong and maybe try at some point to have your son at a friends house or at a family members place and try to have a night or a day where yo7u two can reconnect and maybe wear something he may like like what you used to wear before marrriage or before kids cause sometimes after kid or kids and since hes acting like a kid but anyways try to have a romantic get away or something like maybe if he goes out with a friend or something tell them to kidnap him to wherever you want to seduce your hubby lol anyways he needs to realize hes a hubby and a father that should take first priority then his hobbies lol good luck

Answer 6

He needs to be informed of your feelings. They are a barrier between you at this time and it will get worse. Do talk to him now about your feelings. If things don't get better soon, ask him to counseling. Good luck.