I have been married for two years ten months. My husband and moved from our home because I could not accept the new him. I have not dealt very well with this situation, he thinks I should just accept that things did not work out and move on but he get extremely angry with me when I ask him for us to sit and talk about what really happened. I feel like I was not doing something right. I love my husband dearly and I feel like I can't move on until he lets me know what happened. What forced him to make the decision he made? I need closure
2007-11-23 15:49:50 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would sever all ties but we have a daughter and I don't want to make any rash decisions that will affect her.
2007-11-23 15:57:57 · update #1
I have never cheated on husband, never entertained it. I have been here for him through everything and I can accept the fact that he would do that to me. I have always told him to be honest with me... It would have been better for me to deal with if he had moved out before engaging in
another relationship.
2007-11-23 16:05:19 · update #2
Error... I said I can accept that he would do that to me... I meant I can't accept that he would do that to me
2007-11-23 16:09:44 · update #3
He teaches adults, foreign students most in their early twenties... he has dated several of his students and swears he is in love with the present student who has been in the country a little over a month. What I have tried to tell him he is a convenience for them, how good is it to have a native english speaker guide you in a new city and these females barely even write to him when they return to their countries.... but he swears they love him
2007-11-23 16:33:51 · update #4
I'm afriad there's nothing you can do to make him sit and talk to you. Write him a letter, don't make it too long and hope he writes or call you back... send it by registered mail so you can be sure he gets it.
2007-11-23 15:55:25 · answer #1 · answered by Pixel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in your situation many times before. My husband also cheated on me many times, and each time he'd push the blame to me, said i wasn't caring enough, wasn't loving enough, this and that, which i didn't. He was also mad at me when i found out about the affairs, or when i tried to ask him what was happening. Sometimes he'd land his hands on me. I tried filing for divorce but in the end, he'd break off with the woman and reconciled with me. But some time later, things would happen again and there would be another new woman involving. If your husband is really guilty and apologetic about what he did, you can consider forgiving him but make sure both of you sit down and have a good talk, about what's going wrong with the marriage, and what he wants and expects in the marriage. But if he acts like a king even after what happened, he'll not be worth of your forgiveness because he may do it again. No point staying together because of the kid. You'll give her the wrong thinking that it's right to stay with an unfaithful man. Move on with your life. Sometimes it's better not to know anything than to know everything, since it has already happened. All the best to your happiness!
2007-11-24 01:10:23 · answer #2 · answered by le_snowangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that is the only thing that will give you closure you will never have it. It's been 10 years for me and I'm still waiting for closure. Your husband will never tell you why he did what he did has he told you he doesn't no why he cheated.That's what they all say, lets face it he cheated because he wanted to and because he wanted to have sex with another woman. I bet it was with a co-worker it always is.You need to find another way because he is not going to give you what you want or need he doesn't care about your feelings anymore.It's horrible how a man you fall in love with can just turn on you and treat you like your the enemy,it hurts beyond belief and they don't care .
2007-11-24 00:15:32 · answer #3 · answered by Teenie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, I don't think you are ever going to get him to sit down and talk this thing over with you. His guilt will not allow him to. He knows that he is the guilty party and that is why he is mad at you. Just accept the fact that you did not do anything wrong, and also accept the fact that a leopard never changes its spots and get on with you own life and find some happiness for yourself.
2007-11-24 03:07:09 · answer #4 · answered by Alwyn C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a couple words are missing from your question.
Are you living together now?
Wow. That doesn't sound good if not only he cheated on you, but he's actually angry at you.
It just means that he doesn't want to deal with the obvious outcome of such action.
He wants you to just be fine with it. He wants his cake and to eat it too, but on some level he knows that's not going to happen, so he's frustrated.
Usually cheating means divorce is inevitable.
If you don't have kids, I'd get divorced before you do. People don't always just suddenly change their habits. You might, I might, but he might not.
Don't blame yourself. You can still love him and be divorced from him. You love him enough to do the right thing in the situation.
2007-11-24 00:03:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Being the one that cheated (now in divorce proceedings) I can tell you that I did so because I was not ahppy, not getting what I needed/wanted. Was it the right thing to do? No. In hindsight, I would have gotten out of the marriage and spared him some pain - he isn't a bad person, I just was not happy and not getting what I needed -so I cheated. i suspect, for whatever reason, same is true with your hubby...don't hold on to something that isn't It just is what it is..
2007-11-23 23:58:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's easy for other people to say that he's an a s s and you should forget about him. But, the fact is that you need to know the reasons why he cheated. No, you DESERVE to know why he cheated. You can never have closure until you understand why it happened in the first place.
2007-11-23 23:56:36 · answer #7 · answered by ncgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would truly pack my *&$@ if I were you. Listen, if your so called husband doesn't want you then you don't need him. He isn't worth a $#*@ if he could treat you in that way and just toss you aside. You are so much better than that. Never, ever beg a man to love you.
Its time for you to focus on just yourself. On growing up and taking care of YOU. Learning what YOU want, what YOU need, what YOU like. No, I'm NOT talking about a man either.
When you feel strong enough to stand up for yourself and be an assertive (not aggressive) self confident woman, then maybe you can think about looking for love again.
Kim
2007-11-24 00:09:46 · answer #8 · answered by blakta2 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He's not the victim here you are
from what I am reading.
He's pissed off at you because
he got caught in lies by what he did to you.
He was at fault and if he really loved you
he wouldn't of done that to you.
If I had a wife that would do that to me
it would be hard for me to trust her again.
Have you ever cheated on him before?
If you can't deal with him anymore
it's best to get a divorce.
If you still love him seek counseling together.
PS: ''I could not accept the new him.''
Was that before or after?
2007-11-24 00:00:12 · answer #9 · answered by Alex 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
once a cheater always a cheater even if you guys would get back together again would you or could you ever trust him again the reason he cheated on you is probrably because he is a loser he has no feelings but for himself the least he could have done was tell you before hand how he felt and broke things off and now the poor child has to pay for his sins
2007-11-24 00:27:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce
2007-11-24 00:03:47 · answer #11 · answered by B D 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋