Hey guys... I was hoping for some advice.
I'm 20 years old and my fiance is 45 years old. I'm also a few weeks away from giving birth. I'm so happy but my mother has been going to extreme lengths to break our engagement off because of the age difference. She has gone as far as to trying to get my fiance deported back to Russia (which didn’t work because he’s here legally). It’s getting ridiculous. I thought she would stop when she found out that we were expecting, but she didn't. I know that it's a lot for her to handle, it is a really huge age gap, I try so hard to be understanding, but I can't leave my fiance for her. I really don’t want to have to cut her out of my life… she *is* my mother, after all. But I don’t know what I can do to find a solution. I’m getting pretty desperate. Any suggestions, advice?
Thanks!
2007-11-23 15:22:49 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Talk to her. Tell her how you feel. Tell her you expect her to support your decision and if she can't then maybe she should stay way until she can. No relationship can work if you have mom actively sabotaging it! Tell her she is not doing you any favors by risking making you a single mom! Make it clear that breaking you and the fiancee up will not send you running home to mom and in fact will only put a wedge between you. Set up boundaries and enforce them. People treat us how we let them treat us. A good mother will put her own beliefs aside for the sake of her child's happiness. I surely wouldn't be trying to get my child's fiancee and father of my unborn grandchild deported! There comes a time when a mom has to learn to bite her tongue, let her children make their own decisions and mistakes, and just be there for them when they mess up. Congratulations and best of luck!
2007-11-23 15:32:12 · answer #1 · answered by MISS H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow! well congrats on the baby!
I would say maybe talk to her and find out why she is so against everything.....and if it is just becuase of the age diff. try explaining to her that u guys really luv each other and stuff about why u guys get a long and things like that. It must be hard for her........i wouldnt know though.....but still try to work things out becasue if u are going to et married u are going to want her in the wedding.....wont u?.....and u dont want to have her out of r life....like u said she is ur mother! good luck!
2007-11-23 15:30:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats really hard. Well you obviously love him.
She cant make you not love him. She just
has to grin and bear. She needs to learn to love
or just shut her mouth (as bad as that sounds). Maybe sit her down and re-explain everything to her. You probably have
already done this. If you want to get extreme tell her your baby will never know her grandma. This is a really bad situation for you. The stress could potentially hurt the baby. Im sorry and good luck! :]]
2007-11-23 15:29:29 · answer #3 · answered by rawrrgoesthelion 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your mom needs some help. She has a choice she can learn to love him and respect that she raised you to make good choices or she can continue this childish behavior and push you and her grandchild further away. Try counseling if you can't talk to her on an emotional level. Ask her why she is not supportive.
2007-11-23 15:30:29 · answer #4 · answered by David F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know to tell you the truth i dont think there is anything wrong with that diff, my parents are 24 years appart. my dad is 75 and my moms 51, im 12, big big huge age diff. my parents have been together since my mom was 23 and my dad 47
2007-11-23 15:32:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to live your life. You are own your own doing your own thing. Still have respect for your mother but at the same time, do you. She'll just have to understand that you are grown, on your own, and happy.
2007-11-23 15:28:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't question a mother's instincts. She's going to do what's best for you. You may be blinded by what you think is "love". She's only trying to protect you. You should sit down and talk to her!!
2007-11-23 15:28:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let her break you two up! get married as soon as possible. As a divorce attorney, I strongly urge you to marry this man, then hire me when you come to your senses.
I love women like you. Thank you.
Good luck.
2007-11-23 15:30:42 · answer #8 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell Her to **** of and tell the slut to mind her own ******* ***** *** bussinus.
Us Russian Blokes are hot arn't we, we love fat american woman. lol
2007-11-23 15:35:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ewww
2007-11-23 15:26:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋