I'm married 31 years old and having an emmotional affair with the man at work. Can someone tell me why this have happened and how to fight this? I have a loving husband and I love him too. He will do anything for me I feel like I don't deserve him. He even told me that I can go with the other man if it is going to make me happy. I feel so stupid and I act like a stupid at work .You can read on my face that I like this man. Cannot control my self, just getting angry at home with my husband and at work with the man I like. I don't want to like him and don't want this to happen to me. My husband is only man I have ever had and I want this to be like that.
2007-11-23 15:16:10 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The fact is, I can control myself. We don't have physical relationship. He have tried a lot for me by asking me out, making sure he is there if I need any kind of help. My husband was not at home for 4 month he was living far away from me I didn't cheat on him. He did realized that something is wrong that I have changed, he started to ask questions and I have told him. This is happening for 7 month already, I'm emotionally exhausted. I'm looking for a new job but no luck yet.
2007-11-23 16:31:01 · update #1
your heart and soul. you have to work at a marriage. if you don't want to feel this way about this man do something about it. you need to take you out of this equation. maybe look for a new job......but take responsibility, if you give this man your heart you have cheated.
2007-11-23 15:21:44 · answer #1 · answered by kewpie003 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
THERE IS NOTHING MISSING FROM YOU MARRIAGE AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. The fact that you are attracted to someone else doesn't mean there's anything wrong with your marriage, nor does it mean you're a slut. It is perfectly normal to be in love with more than one person at any given time. The reality, however, is that humans were created with the capacity to have only one committed relationship at a time. So you need to make a clean break from the guy at work. Tell him the truth about how you feel and explain that you will not pursue a relatiuonship with him because you want to focus on building a happy life with yur husband. It may be hard for you in the beginning but with time it will get easier.
2007-11-24 00:03:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you want us to tell you it's okay to feel the way you do. The fact is, you can control yourself. Stop trying to make excuses. Figure out what you want and go for it. You're only doing your husband in with your selfishness. If having an affair with another man is the type of woman you are, there's really nothing we can do about it.
2007-11-23 23:41:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
your marriage has stagnated. It is routine, stale, your in a comfort zone, the new affair is exciting new, fresh. go on a trip somewhere with the husband & try to reconnect , if that dont do it see a marriage counslour . ALSO if he is so willing to let you go. then he is also bored. no man that loves his woman would tell her to go ahead an hhave an affair unless he is bored and dont really give a damn. and is thhinking about what the grass looks like over the other side of the fence too.
2007-11-23 23:24:40 · answer #4 · answered by mitchey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love your husband then you should not have to decide what to do. Your co-worker may be doing something that your husband is not to provoke those feelings in you and you know what it is but I don't think you need to re-evaluate your marriage.. you may want to suggest some spontaneous activites with your husband and if that does not work try something else, if it is worth it you can't give up. Sometimes we think the grass is greener on the other side but when you walk over it is a dead bush in disguise.
2007-11-23 23:27:01 · answer #5 · answered by trinimix 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to take control of your emotions no doubt, maybe you just want & need some attention from your husband. Try to do something romantic with him to respark your marriage. And be firm with the person you like at work. Just concentrate on your job and don't interact with him unneccesarily. If you are not firmly determined to stay true to your husband, you will make further "stupid" decisions. You have to decide what you want.
2007-11-23 23:22:08 · answer #6 · answered by abbey road 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
whats missing in your marriage is you..Your husband needs to boot you to curb since your lack of self control sounds like an excuse and your not worth the effort to work things out..Once guy from work moves on you'll cheat again with someone else..I like the part where u say u love your husband...thats a joke right?...
2007-11-23 23:51:29 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can control yourself. You husband is a lot more understanding than I would be. It's ok for you to be friendly wit hthis guy at work- but know where to draw the line.If your husband is that only man you want- express that to him. Don;t b&m to us- go to him.
2007-11-24 02:54:14 · answer #8 · answered by kttphoenix 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop telling yourself lies like " I cannot control myself."
Your real problem is you cannot be honest with yourself about what is going on.
the fact is you will continue to find men attractive, no matter how good your husband is. You vowed to forsake all other men for your marriage. Now you need to follow up this vows with action.
Grow up and stop believing your own hype.
2007-11-23 23:21:29 · answer #9 · answered by box of rain 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is something wrong at home. Trust me, if my husband told me it was OK to go off with someone else I'd feel pretty unimportant to him and pretty angry too. Sounds like you need someone to make you feel special and your husband isn't doing it for you. Good luck, maybe you need to discuss that with him.
2007-11-24 00:05:25 · answer #10 · answered by hoona_girl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋