Ok, from the 1st time i met my inlaws, including his sister, i liked them , and they liked me... well a year has passed since and we recently got married... he is military so while he's deployed i am stuck here having to visit them and keep in contact with them, WHICH was GREAT.. i didn't mind it.. UNTIL recently.. his mom and sister made up some junk about a conversation we had.. pretty much turned my words around and made me seem like i was this crazy stuck up person... i know i didnt say anything wrong and he knows i didnt... but when they finally calmed down, they said they only did that because they were jealous because he was married now, blah blah blah.... so now i dont call or visit anymore... i wont because i dont think they are right for what they did, but he wants me to blow it off and just forget about it... Should i just suck it up or stand my ground?
2007-11-23 14:41:24 · 13 answers · asked by soldiersgurl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have a right to be upset, it was childish of them to twist your words because they are jealous of their son/brothers relationship with you. However, it will not do any good for your marriage if you hold the grudge for the rest of your life. Imagine how it will be once the two of you have children, they need all the grandparents they can get. Take a break from them, cool off, then slowly try to give them another chance. I wouldn't jump right back into being chummy with them, but eventually you should try to forgive.
2007-11-23 15:05:11 · answer #1 · answered by vince_pballer 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stand your ground! Wish that I had 23 yrs ago. Put up with their crap till the middle child got to be about 16.When the mil and sil started to treat her like me, I was done with them and so was my daughter. Haven't been to see them for 5 or 6 yrs. Although they still tell my husband and sons how much they wished I would have came. He still makes excuses for me. He probably will until the females die off or he runs out of excuses, which ever comes first. Abuse is abuse and I don't care what direction it comes from. I did my duties by my children, have never keep them from seeing the kids. I told them once that one day the way they treated me would come back and bite them in the butt. It's starting to get painful for them. No son-in laws or daughter-in-laws yet, but am already asking really good mil's how they did it. I want to be the greatest mil ever. Good luck and start how you will finish with no regrets.
2007-11-23 17:09:17 · answer #2 · answered by witchywoman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever been given a second chance? I'm sure you have, so perhaps you should do the same for them. Let it go this time and keep the peace. Your husband has enough to worry about without this as well.
And if it happens again, then stand your ground... but this time around, just let it go.
2007-11-23 14:49:35 · answer #3 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What they did was crazy making and you cannot trust them. I would NOT have much to do with them. Just because they are your inlaws does not mean you have to go see them. They are his family and you are to respect that and be respectful to them. That is all. I would have nothing to do with them until he gets home and you share a turkey for Thanksgiving. Dont' sweat this, you've done nothing wrong. Good luck.
2007-11-23 19:28:09 · answer #4 · answered by oh_my_its_linda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not worth the confrontation. Just go around and not have deep conversations with them just keep everything on a general level. Don't tell them your person marriage business.
2007-11-23 15:05:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh the many many arguments i have had over my inlaws where they have forgotten to take their foot out of MY door,
but look if you love your man and plan on loving him for the rest of your life then you need to be polite to his family(as do they), for your own peace of mind if nothing else.
Go there once a week stay as long as it takes to have one maybe two cups of tea/coffee then leave.
That's gratitous enough after all you do have your own life to get on with.
2007-11-23 15:36:41 · answer #6 · answered by happy to 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
let it go.as a daughter-in law and and a mother in-law i say let it go. marriages may be long and life is always to short. no they should not of done what they done. yes you had a right to be upset.you let them know about it so why drag it on. you said you liked them and they liked you.my goodness have you never said some thing stupid that you wished you had not said. you husband fought for all of us and came home safe just to be put on the front lines between you and his family. i think he deserves better. like i said LET IT GO you made your point.
2007-11-23 15:13:07 · answer #7 · answered by BLOODHOUND 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Many things can be overlooked; only you can decide if it should be or not. If not, then why not start with gently confronting them with something like, "My relationship with you is really important to me and I've really enjoyed this past year, that's why I need to talk to you about something that's been bothering me."
Family relationships are very important and worth the effort. Good luck.
2007-11-23 14:52:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Doesn't sound like you were too thrilled with them in the first place "i am stuck here having to visit them" well I guess you have the choice you can sink to their level and act like them by ignoring them or holding your head up and being better than them....
2007-11-23 14:50:06 · answer #9 · answered by i_b_winkn_at_u 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Under the circumstances I would not visit my in-laws regularly.
I would simply tell my husband there was a small misunderstanding and to prevent any more confusion it would be best if I limited my visits with them for awhile.
2007-11-23 14:47:32 · answer #10 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋