Husband won't have sex?

Question

Or should I say, never wants to. We have been married for a little over a year, and he never initiates sex, and when I do, he is too "busy" or "tired" or not in the mood. I have tried everything from pretty nighties, candlelight, everything you can think of to turn him on to me! I have gained some weight since we got married (hardly any) but I ask him and he says that does not effect him at all. It all makes me very sad. This is the one thing only I can share with him, and I feel like we have lost our connection. I feel completely and totally rejected because he is no longer touchy feely or affectionate at all.

What are your suggestions?

I ask him what the problem is and he says that he just doesn't have to have it alot. He is 27 and I am 21. I know he may not want it all the time, but shouldnt he, even if he is not in the mood, just to make me happy? I would do that for him!

Answer 1

have you asked the guy if he has had problems getting it up this can be a touchy subject for most guys so be thoughtful and well easy on him. If this is the case then help him find a Dr. to help you guys out. I think he may have ED or he has other issues he is not disclosing to you. Tell him that you are a young and sexually driven lady and that you have needs like most married ladies and men have. If he still doesn't budge tell him that you need to go to counselling with him that affection and intimacy is important to you and that only being married a year that this is concerning you and has become bothersome.

Have you guys talked about children maybe he doesn't want kids and is going the no sex route to keep from getting you pregnant just a thought.

Have you ever considered he was sexually hurt when he was younger sometimes men and women who have this happen shy away from sex.

It sounds like he may have a number of issues that he needs to deal with either in couple or single therapy. This should be a happy sexually charged time in your marriage I feel your frustration.

One last thing if you do nothave him in your marriage find God it is one of the strongest forces that you can have along with prayer.

May God Bless You and Keep You, Congrats on the marriage
and too many more years.

Remember good communication=good sex life

Answer 2

Well that really has to suck for you doesn't it? I hope you both are not trapped in a marriage that your only staying in for the others sake. If you have needs then don't be afraid to tell him. Because it should already be obvious to him that you do and its not fair to you that your not getting what you want from it, simply cause he just doesn't feel like it. Its not like your going to do it everyday. Just when you both feel comfortable in doing it. He expects things to be a certain way, why cant he realize you expect it to be a certain way to?And as I see it the scale that you both have are uneven, so try to make him realize that by going to a doctor and talk about what you need to get the relationship going back on track. Because who knows it maybe a fact that something can be really wrong and needs to figure out to the root of what is happening because most men would not have a low sex drive at a earlier age like that. I know a doctor can be a little expensive, but for marriage that you want to last a life time will be well wroth it.

Answer 3

You know....the same thing happened to a friend of mine, and she hasn't even been married a year yet! The two of them had an amazing sex life, but almost immediately after getting married it just kind of drifted away. I wonder if it's sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Men hear their whole lives (stand-up comediens, well-meaning uncles, etc.) that the sex stops after the wedding. Do you think it's possible that he prepared himself for the sex to stop, and is therefore not prepared for either of you to initiate sex? Just a theory.

Other than that, there's always the possibility that he's stressed out about something at work, or with his family. Explain to him that you feel unloved and rejected because he does not want to have sex with you. DON'T bring it up right after you try to initiate, and he turns you down though. You'll be too emotional and sensitive. Wait until a neutral time, when you have his full attention and tell him how you feel. You could also think about doing things to relax him a little...have dinner ready when he gets home (his favorite...if it's possible), rub his feet or shoulders when he sits down, draw him a bath, etc. But most importantly: talk to him!

Good luck!

Answer 4

Dang this guy sound like he is just not interested any more.
Me and wifie had a kinda dry spell for a little bit, but we still seemed to make time for one another.
Fast forward.... 12 Years later....The sex could not possably be any better, If it were I think one of us would spontaneously combust.
Don't do anything too rash, but if it comes down to it give him an ultimatum.
He'll kinda have do do something, one way or another
HA HA just thought of something....
If you don't give him an ultimatum... Go to an adult toy store
Buy a big gnarly strap on.... show it to him and say "we are going to have sex one way or another".
Might work?

Answer 5

From the narrative report, it appears he has become impotent. Same is the case with me. I also married and after sometime I thought that I am expereincing weakness. My penis was soft and did not slide in. I lost inteest in sex. I got advice from my friend. He advised me to use Hameopathic Medicines. named Vita 15-C Forte. (Dr Reckoweig of German) These are ampules and it is to t ake one ampules daily. He should take it daily and I a ssure you that if other things are well, he will again be interested in sex. Good Luck.

Answer 6

There are alot of men out there like your husband my sister is married to one, my sister told me that if they do it once in four or five months that's alot. My mother in-law told me it took her husband two months to have sex with her when they got married. After that maybe once a month. Believe it or not not every man enjoys sex it doesn't mean anything is wrong with them. You just might have to get use to the idea that you have a husband who really doesn't enjoy sex like most man do.

Answer 7

Men are really touchy about their ability to perform. He may be experiencing impotence but doesn't want to admit it. Sadly, this is usually a physical condition and could probably be treated. You need to tell him that this situation is unacceptable and that he needs to either tell you the truth or go see a doctor. Possibly you two need counseling.

Answer 8

it seems weird for his young age not to want sex at all with his wife hes supposed to love. you havent even been married very long. the honey moon should still be going on. there has to be a reason why he wont have sex with you. do u think he may be having it with someone else? i hope not. try to talk to him about ur feelings more.

Answer 9

have you done any double tripple checking on your own body looks with your girlfreinds to see if something is looking un attractive<<< or have you been snooping to see if he is getting loving elsewere from others who attract him more his age,, and are you bi,, will you tease him so it upsets him that You want a bi lesbian lover to move in for sexual pleasures just use ideas that bug him,, Im truly sorry your sex life sucks right now,,, honest,,, but check out those points, then come repost to let us know,, so far it sounds like hes just dumb or has lost his drive for pusssy,,,,,,,,,,sometimes guys hate using there fingers for hours or because your not a big part of the fun ,, too,, forplay is a huge part for guy n gal to enjoy it all

Answer 10

Wow, maybe he's not interested in you anymore.. Not to be negative but he could have jusy found a new fling at the job, you never know.. Have you checked his cellphone, wallets, pants, car,etc.. That's what wives suppose to do, get down and dirty..