How to divide finances between a married couple?

Question

My husband and I have been married for 7 years and are pretty happy. Lately we have had a lot of bills- medical, fixing up the house,and a little credit card debt. We have been fighting about it a lot. I handle the finances and he doesn't- I really would like him to take over so he can see the numbers in front of him every time he sits down to send checks. I actually pay for a lot of our bills too and I just want him to realize what I have to deal with-especially when he wants to buy something stupid and expensive like xbox 360,and I tell him we can't afford it. Not that I don't want him to buy things for himself, he just doesn't get it that sometimes you have to budget.
So does anyone have any advice out there with what works for you?

Answer 1

Quit being his mommy and be his wife. He needs to take an active role in all aspects of the marriage.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Sit down with him when it is bill paying time and discuss exactly how much you have and which bills are getting paid and how much on each. If the 2 of you do it together every month then you know exactly what is going on and it is a decision made between the 2 of you as to what to pay and how much. The fighting will cease and together you may be able to come up with a future goal and savings plan. One that both of you can agree on. The key here is to make him do it with you not just on his own. You are a united front that way.

Answer 3

There is a book that I would like to recommend to you. It's written by Suze Orman. (you can look her up at www.suzeorman.com). Anyway, the book is called "Women and Money". I just finished reading it, and I'm actually thinking about giving it to my mother to read because it's great no matter what age you are or what stage you are at in life. I really recommend it!

Anyway, whether you read the book or not, I read something in it that I think might work for you. First of all, she says that both partners should sit down *together* and write checks to pay all of the bills *all at one time* every single month. That way you each know what you have and what you don't have.

Any money that is remaining after bills (whether you make more, or he does...it doesn't matter) should be split 50/50. A marriage is between two equals, and the minute you get married, you agree to share with each other, so it doesn't matter who made more because the money belongs to both of you as a couple. Anyway, whatever he gets in his 50/50 split is his to do with as he wishes and whatever you get is yours to do with as you wish. That way neither partner is spending more than the other, and both partners are aware of the financial situation.

Hope this helps! And again, i really recommend her book!

Answer 4

I am an accountant, and have a joint account with my wife, so the question is: how much do you love your wife?? If someone is getting a much larger refund, either their W-4 is not right, or they have better opportunity to save taxes with an IRA, or one person is claiming the children or mortgage interest. See the complications? I guess I would like to know what formula you use to split the household expenses. But anyway, if you two are getting a larger refund MFJ be generous. Because your funds are co-mingled for the taxes, determine your overall tax rate and then each person's % of income and split the refund that way. so if H makes 600 and wife 400 with an overall tax of 10% = 100 tax, with $200 refund, then H gets 600/1000 x $200 and wife gets 400/1000 x $200. It's late; just saw your response to someone else who gave the above idea first. So compare overall average tax of husband to tax overwithheld to determine that part as an individual refund then do income ratio split of balance (afterthought: would not be one), especially if it looks more fair to wife. So now, if H withheld 200 (and only owes 60) and wife w/h 100 and owes 40; H gets $140 of refund, and W gets $60; but I guess if H 259 - 60 = 199 refund; and W 41 - 40 = $1 refund.....I am quitting now before your wife puts a price on my head. EDIT: I now see I basically reiterated your idea. BUT what would happen if you computed tax rate on combined GROSS income? You might get a different perspective, idk. Am really stopping now.

Answer 5

Yes, completely stop paying all the bills and put all of your paycheck in your bank account, let the bills pile up for a month of two and let him deal with the phone calls. After a while he will learn to understand and especially appreciate what you are doing. My husband was the same way, until I gave him the check book, the bills and the password on the internet and told him to deal with it...It's been peace and quiet ever since. Don't just talk about it, do it, let him see what BS you're dealing with in trying to manage the budget..
Good luck

Answer 6

I know excetly what you are going through. My husband makes the money and I write the checks. When he wants to buy something for his Trucks I tell him that we don't have the money and he asks why. When I start telling his that there is $300 electric bill, $100 water bill, $100 cell phone bill, etc, then says nothing. My husband still mentions that he wants a body kit for one of his trucks. Men never seem to grow up.
---- What I would do is show him all the bills. Add them up and tell him that is what is costing the two of you to keep your home.---- He knows away to save some money to spend on himself then great if not then he needs to wait until Christmas! :)

Answer 7

We have multiple checking accounts. We each have a "personal" checking account, this is where the paychecks are deposited. We also have a "bills" checking account, and we both transfer money into it, but the money there is ONLY for bills.

The personal accounts are where we can "save up" for things we want (like your husband's X-box, for example), but we discuss how much of each check goes to the bills, and we each keep what's left for our own use. This is also nice because we don't need to communicate what checks we've written or charges we've made. Since we're not drawing off the same account, we don't have to worry about bouncing a check because of poor communication.

Answer 8

Make up a spreadsheet of a few months worth of income and expenditures and show him what the numbers look like. It will hopefully open his eyes. Figure out whats leftover and allocate a small amount for each of you each month to spend as you wish without consulting one another and if he wants a big ticket item he will have to save a few months or so for it.

Answer 9

i like "sophiesm.." answer the best. seems like he needs to SEE what you're doing..not just be told. some people are like that - they don't want to know as long as someone else is handling it - but if you get his attention and show him a "visual", he might understand.
i don't think just turning the books over to him is a good idea, if he's not good with finances.
sounds like you are, and he's not. so stay with it (since you are better able to budget) but DO include him or he'll just keep spending and not caring (he does sound childish)

Answer 10

Hand him the checkbook, tell him "Here." and walk away. If he refuses to take over, just shrug and say "well, when they turn off the electric I'll be moving out to my mother's until you get it straightened out" and LET HIM DO IT.