Has this (or something like like it) ever happened to you?

Question

I guess I should preface this with saying that although it doesn't seem like it, my fiance is a really great guy who sometimes has momentary lapses in judgement.

Anyway, my fiance called me the other day. He was at work and I was at home. We were talking about a bunch of random things, including the new apartment that we're hoping to get soon. He told me that he doesn't want me to smoke in the new apartment. I am a smoker, and have been since we met. It has never been an issue before; he even smokes occasionally. So I was understandable taken aback by this. We got into an argument, and I hung up the phone and started cleaning to get my frustration out (that's what I do when I'm upset).

When he got home, he saw how clean the apartment was, smiled and hugged and kissed me. He said (laughingly) the he knew if he got me upset, I would clean and the apt. needed to be cleaned, and that he doesn't care about smoking the new apt.

Obviously I was very upset. I was manipulated! Even though the results were not harmful (and were in fact helpful. the apartment did need to be cleaned) to anyone, I still feel like I was betrayed by him taking something that he knows about me and using it to get what he wants.

Did I over-react?

Correction: The above should say "Smoking in the new apartment" not "smoking the new apartment".

Answer 1

Oh Sammydg0,

Thank you for the best laugh I've had all night :)

I just got threw answering some of the most saddest (?) questions and I am not laughing AT you, I'm laughing about it.

Your fiance sounds just like my son, he always knows how to jerk my chain (get me all upset, then tell me he's joking)

This is one of the little things in life you will learn about your future fiance. And the more time you spend with him, you'll figure him out and learn when he's up to "his old tricks again".

Thank your lucky stars he has such a pleasant, creative personality and I do not think this man will ever provide you a boring life.

Just shake it off and laugh at him and tell him paybacks are a ***** :)

Oh and p.s. Tell him he owes you a very nice night out on the town with a wonderful romantic dinner to make it up to you (for now:)

Thanks again for the laugh, I honestly needed it.
He didn't really hurt you, he just showd you how much he has learned to know you and that is ALL good.
Remember the marriage vows?

And think of it like this. What IF he came home to a clean apartment and still told you NO smoking in the new apartment. Which is worse...? really ?

Just keep him on his toes now and act like it's going to take a lot to make this up to you, but you have a good one there.
I promise you....

Answer 2

LOL HA, so the critter pulled one over you. All I can say (and I'm trying not to judge you) is that if you didn't know that he was just trying to fool you into cleaning the apartment, you must not know him very well or at least not as well as he knows you. I've been married almost 10 years and I know when my man is working his nonsense on me and I snap him out of it right away. I'm sorry for laughing. I understand you must be upset but with time you'll get to know when he's really upset and when he is not. Believe me you will. Then you can both laugh together when you catch him in the act.

Answer 3

You'd be on the set of coronation highway! In concept i assume if no longer something ever happend,there could have been no super Bang which might advise that circumstances for all times would not have been created!! In physics isn't there a regulation that states each action HAS AN equivalent AND OPPOSITTE reaction?? for this reason if there became into no preliminary action,evoloution would not exist.... Cool! Existential questions:)

Answer 4

Don't give him any BJs for the next month and tell him that's his punishment for causing an unnecessary argument between the two of you. If the apartment needed to be cleaned, then either of you could've just asked or said "hey lets clean tonight".

Answer 5

You are making way to much out of it,get over it and you shouldn't be smoking in your new apartment anyway that sh.t will stink up your clothes and your walls. I laid in bed beside my husband for years while he puffed away,when we moved out all my clothes had yellow stains on them and the wall had to be wiped down before we could sell the house. People walked in and the first thing they mentioned was about a smoker living in this house. Our new house he goes outside to smoke now.

Answer 6

Do you think it's possible that the "only kidding, just wanted you to clean comment" was a cover? Maybe he felt badly about having upset you, and didn't know how to apologize, so just made light of it? Either way, I think the two of you should talk about it.

Answer 7

LOL! Just laugh with him and embrace your flaws...as he is. I doubt he was being malicious, and besides, you both got something good from it. Next time, joke back when the two of you are in an argument and tell him it's not going to work this time...maybe it will lighten the moment.

Answer 8

Sounds like he knows you pretty well. That's funny that he knows how to play it. Don't get mad at him, get mad at yourself for being predictable.

When you get mad, don't clean... find something that benefits YOU and not the both of you... that might stop him from messing with you.

Answer 9

lmaooooooooooooooo momentary lapses in judgement? i think he sounds brilliant.

if youre really offended, you need to talk to him about being manipulated. but if it's likely just a one-time thing, learn to laugh it off. don't sweat the small stuff in good relationships.

Answer 10

How lucky you are! He has a wonderful sense of humour! Appreciate him. Some other men would have done their stack over a messy home.