Is there any substantial difference between?

Question

the problems of trauma from our youth and other obstacles that we must overcome to grow, be they internal or external?
many people feel that trauma experienced in youth is different. I have had the trauma of growing up with a father who was sexually abusive, gay and a pediphile. But I went to therapy and grew dispite the obstacle. my parents did not have social understanding, yet I researched and learned and grew beyond them. Have I missed something?

Jack, that was a fantastic response...but My self image flows from the 'fact': God does not make junk. thereto, I am not junk, ergo; there is only one direction to go. FORWARD. It has nothing at all to do with my self image, that grows as I succeed.

Answer 1

No. It sounds like you were brave and missed nothing. For some reason you were one of the lucky ones. Perhaps you had some internal strength - some drive to heal yourself. I know this is serious, but it reminds me of a Far Side card, where the 'Convention of Children of Non-dysfunctional Parents' convened, and there were about 3 people in the auditorium. I am not trying to diminish your accomplishment at all. In fact I wish to give you the kudos due. Just remember that you are not alone, either in your traumatic experiences or in your survival.
My husband had a serious alcohol problem and overcame it through sheer willpower and determination, but I can see almost everyone needs help at some point. In your case and his you stopped blaming your problems on your circumstances and took responsibility for yourselves.

Answer 2

Hi Dr Weasel. I noticed this question, also that you had answered my recent question about communication - that one hasnt opened up for me to select a best answer and make comments so I will do so here.
Perhaps I am wrong, but as you say one can only communicate the facts as you see them.
I think children are born with a natural tendency towards toughness, or towards sensitivity. Overlaying that beginning is the fact that the subconscious is being 'hard wired' or programmed during the early years of childhood with things like self image and so on (very hard but I suppose not impossible to change later on). If during that crucial period a child is traumatised (damaged by intense unbearable pain) by things pertaining to their self image, this can be hard wired into the subconscious, and be, as I said very difficult to reprogram later on. I am not saying that that is not a problem just like the many others that people struggle with, but I think its different. Its one (very admirable) thing to face and overcome your problems with all the internal grit at your disposal, but if the problem actually affects that area of your subconscious that produces your drive it is attacking your means of solving all problems, including that one.
In my case I was a very sensitive kid, was bullied and traumatised in school, and had parts of my self image damaged - I get self sabotaging feelings coming from the programming in my subconscious rising to the top when I try to do things - I have pushed hard over the years to get through this (inc therapy) but find that people get judgemental when this feeling comes and turn away, sabotaging efforts (I have lost count of the times the 'last person picked for the team' effect has come into play at work). So I am saying if your basic drive is intact (ie the 'I will show them' feeling that you have when you showed great character to overcome your dyslexia) it is the key to solving all other problems, but if the problem actually attacks the source of that drive it is a thorny issue because of a. that feeling, and b peoples judgements (I have found people judge very much on externals, with exceptions such as yourself). I think its wrong no matter what the problem to give up, and I think its wrong to think that there is not a solution to any problem (if it was made, it can be solved), but the solution to this eludes, and I have spent a long time lookin for the answer. But thats ok, the sun shines, and dealing with difficulties as you say does make you a better person. You obviously have had this quality brought into your being through your earlier overcoming. Actually going through this answer has freshly pointed out to me it is wrong to ever stop seeking solutions to overcome. This is election day in Australia so I am off to vote.

Answer 3

Not at all, from what you went through in your childhood, you have overcome your issues and sound as well adjusted as can be. All the best, be well.

Answer 4

Great for you and God bless you.