what do u do about a jerk, for a son-in-law he disrespects my daughter all the time i cant stand it.?

Question

they have been married for 3 yrs now with two beautiful kids, i dont go over there house anymore and he doesnt dare come to mine. the only time i see my grandchilden is when she brings them over. its really hard when hoildays come

they were moving last yr. and he bought one of his friends which was a woman to help us.and they both were playing around like girlfriend/ boyfriend and i confronted him about it and he went off cursing me in front of my daughter.he knows he can fool her but not me.

i love my daughter and i be damn if im going to sit and let any man disrespect her infront of me by bringing another woman around. do u have kids, eventally not

the parent that choose to keep their mouths shut, there the one that end up with daughters physically abuse or dead

jadeyoz u had mad a comment [ men come and go but kids are there forever]

there is such a thing called grandparents rights. i want to thank all of u for all your comments, it is a hard thing to have to deal with and i just have to realize that im not the only one out there dealing with this type of problem.

Answer 1

Well maybe her father needs to step in and do a bit of "talking" to this guy. Sometimes a woman's words are scoffed at, but very hard to ignore a man's threats. When I was going out with this no-good guy. My father made it quite clear to him that if he ever hurt me, he would track him down and make him pay. A good friend of mine found out his daughter had been physically abused by her husband. The father confronted him one day coming home from work and made it clear in no uncertain terms that the next time he touched his daughter he wouldnt be let off so easily. His daughter was never touched again. His daughter wasnt happy at the time with her fathers intervention, but at least she wasnt hurt again....they ended up divorced and she is now happily married to a wonderful man. I bet she thanks her father now. I dont condone violence, but we do whatever we need to do to protect our loved ones.

Answer 2

Well guess what.... it's your daughters life and choice NOT YOURS. She is a grown woman and you have to back out, be respectful... and be there if she needs you.

Ya know, if you are so worried about the worst then you would think you could keep quiet and be respectful so that you are able to be around should anything happen. At the rate you are going it won't be long before she pushes you out of her life because of you interference and then what will you be able to do? You won't be there for her or her children.

So as much as you may hate the situation, the best move for you is to button up, be nice, and make sure you are able to be a part of their lives in case anything does happen.

And you can take that any way you like, but seriously, if you keep going the way you are they are going to want you completely out of their lives which leaves you powerless.... listen to me and at least you retain some type of control and connection.

Answer 3

Have you ever wondered what would happen between you and your grandchildren if something happened to your daughter? Would you ever get to see them again?

I choose to stay out of my boy's relationships. One of them has a toxic relationship with the mother of my grandson. Neither is good for the other. I made up my mind I would try to be as helpful as possible where my grand baby is concerned, and keep my mouth shut about the rest of the drama. My opinion hasn't been asked for, and I don't offer it. (As hard as that is sometimes.....)

They have broken up, and gotten back together so many times - and I have never regretted my decision to stay neutral. I see my grandson at a minimum of twice a week. I love him so very much, and I'm glad his mother trusts me to spend time with him. She also knows without a doubt that there will be no confrontations with me, so I haven't given her a reason to keep him away from me.

I wish you luck in this very hard situation.

Answer 4

You were off the mark by saying anything - sorry to say.
You thought it was disrespectful - but he isn't your husband so you should have kept your mouth shut.

Yes - by the way I do have children. My 20 yo daughter has had a couple of relationships and the one dude was a twit, and I let her know I trusted her judgment but thought he was a bit of a twit -- but I never went off on him because it was not my place.

You cut off your nose to spite your face -- in other words you put your decision "you were right" over your relationship with your daughter.

Answer 5

There's not much you can do. It's up to your daughter to make her own decisions. If he disrespects her and she lets him then she's got the problem. Until she decides to do something about it, forget it, nothing will change and no amount of harassing her will make any difference. She has to learn the hard way....even though it is hard for you to bear.

Answer 6

If she has been with him that long and has 3 kids by him then she must like it ,or she doesnt see it as disrespect.
You never gave an example of how he disrespects her so we dont know that he does,just in your opinion he does.

Answer 7

Did you fall in love with him? Did you marry him? did you give birth to his kid's ? buy a house with him ? car ? anything?

NO , your daughter chose him so you keep out of it if and thats IF she wants out do the right thing and give her a place to go , help her out financially , but do NOT stop him seeing his children they are as much his as they are her's , they need him more then they need you. Dont bad mouth him to them .

In short you dont do anything because it wasnt your choice to marry him.

Answer 8

Nothing. It is her marriage. Let her live her life and make her own mistakes. Only offer to help if help is requested.

Good luck.

Answer 9

u can only tell her u are there for her if she needs u, but the decision is hers and there isn't much u can do unless she can see the truth. just be supportive tell her she is welcome to come to your home if she needs to. of course it is hard to see your little girl being treated like this, just be patient and pray. she will one day see him for what he is and be glad to leave.

Answer 10

Don't visit him, don't allow him into your house. If he cannot respect your children, then he is not welcomed.