to give our relationship one last try. i told her all of our probs. i explained to her that if things won't change that i am prepared to leave tommorow. she is always broke. i understand she has 2 KIDS (7 & 4) but as a parent she should still try to save money. what if emergencies happens?? she has said she would try. i have asked her to set some rules for the kids. i have tried to stress to her that the kids do need rules & she needs to be more involved w/ her kids. she has been letting her mother raise the kids & that's bad because in the future they won't listen to her they will call grandma. i have been told i can't discipline her kids at all. my gf says it wil take time & the reason she has her grandma help is because when she first had kids she wasn't ready for them & was never happy she had them. i tried. i'm at wits end. i don't make much money. i want to get a 2nd job so that things will get better. she was pissed when i told her. now she wants me to spend money on her!!
2007-11-23 09:24:55 · 5 answers · asked by petey 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i have been stretched on my budget trying to save money while trying to spend it on things that we need. what do i do? i have tried. i want to give her another chance. when we 1st got together she said she had her tubes tied. she never got pregnant but since i am unhappy now i have stopped having sex w/ her 2 months ago. i want to send a message things need to change. i don't want to chance her getting pregnant on me & then i'm really screwed. tell me u understand why i did this right.
2007-11-23 09:28:58 · update #1
its very hard.
2007-11-23 10:04:12 · update #2
though question, not enough information, how old are you both, if her mother has raised the kids,she must have a job,If you are in a serious relation ship you should both have responsibilities to discipline and of course you must agree, on the method,
I have a feeling that it may all ready be too late for her kids to take much notice of their mother, the first five years of a child life are the forming and the most important, if the role of caregiver has been gran mother,she is already in trouble, she was not ready and by what you are saying she is still not ready,
My gut instinct tell me to walk away as fast as you can,her kids are not your responsibility,you offer to get a second job to make things better,and she wants you to spent it on her?
This is what I would tell my son,do not look for a second job, move out of the situation you are in and concentrate on getter better education, it will give you better job prospects with better pay, so that when you meet the right lady marry and have YOUR children, you will be able to support them , you sound like you have a good head on your shoulder so use it in the right way good luck
2007-11-23 09:53:12 · answer #1 · answered by Loretta M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think she would change, looks like she just making too many excuses and not ready to take responsibility for her action. You'd think after having two kids in their age she would grow up herself, but she's not willing to make that choice but rather get angry and make you work more and spend more money. That's easy, anyone can do that. You've being very patient, but at the end you need to make a choice so your life wouldn't be scrood up for a long time. And she needs to learn one day how to be a responsible parent than maybe she'd have a normal relationship with her partner and her kids. Good luck.
2007-11-23 17:54:25 · answer #2 · answered by happydial 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like her whole life is out of control. She needs to take back the control. She needs to be more involved in her children's lives and start phasing grandma out. I dont mean not allow her to have anything to do with her grandkids, just allow her to be the grandma and the mother to be the mother.
I certainly can understand your dilemma.....your girlfriend needs a reality check and you are giving it to her. If she has no control or boundaries in her life, then how do you think life in the long term will be? I think it would be totally chaotic. Many men would walk away from a situation you have described. You must love her to want things to change. I admire you for pointing out the obvious to her. She does need to change....she may be angry now, but if she can pull her life together with you help, it will certainly be in everyone's best interest.
2007-11-23 17:41:28 · answer #3 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will not change. Better to know this now than to invest more time and money on a spoiled brat.
2007-11-23 17:39:39 · answer #4 · answered by already_enuff_spice_in_this 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot change her! You can only change yourself and the circumstances in your life.
Now get to it!
2007-11-23 18:27:30 · answer #5 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋